No Stop Crying

[MforMad]

Hello,

I would like some advise please.

We have just come back from a 2 week holiday in the US, this was our first holiday with our 10 month old son. He is our only child and before the holiday he was a happy little boy who was content to play by himself if left in a room for a minute or 2.

Since coming back from our holiday (4 days) he will not spend even 5 seconds on his own, he has to have someone in the room with him and even when I'm in the room he often clings to me or needs me to be with touching distance.

He no longer likes to sit in his high chair or walker.

Also he did start to get a second tooth while we were on holiday, but that didn't upset him at all.

Can anyone help?

Thanks

Hello,
with your help and support, it will blow over. Such moves are extremely frightening and confusing to children, especially at that age (separation anxiety probably already on the way or there etc). Take it from me, I travel often (way too often) with my children and they usually tend to be difficult for up to two weeks after our moving location.
Can you afford carrying him with you, e.g in a sling or a hipseat, when you need to move around and he is clingy? It will put his mind, slowly, at rest, that you are still there and the world has not ended. Also, do let him cry, whilst you cuddle him and reassure him that you are there and understand his fears and worries (which he cannot put in words but has to act up). No need to stop him from crying at all costs, as crying is in fact a beneficial response, a natural way of getting over the upsets and stresses (if you want to understand and use this approach, check out Aletha Solter's books at amazon).
Hope this helps,
M

I'd go with it, keep him close, lots of cuddles, with a bit of reassurance he'll be back to his old ways. It might be just readjusting after the holiday, tiredness, teeth, developmental frustration (dd was like this for a couple of weeks just before crawling) - who knows? It's hard (dd is going through another of those phases now at 13 months, after being poorly) but I remember from previous occasions it doesn't last for too long. Look after yourself and have chilled out evenings in the meantime!

Thank you both, I feel really guilty when I can't stop his crying and feel like I'm failing somehow.

Mayamama - I do carry him as often as I can when he needs it, but he is a heavy boy and my arms get tried and even with a carrier my back can start to hurt.

diyqueen - Chilled out evening is what I'm going to try today, I've called my sister and she sit with me and tend to my son if needed.

I know what you mean by that feeling of guilt....I used to get this all the time, and would eventually (especially when no chilled out evenings are on the horizon...) even get annoyed and eventually mad at the kids. Nowadays, I feel so much more relaxed about crying though as it really is not all about us being able to stop it. Don't feel like a failure! Unless he has some underlying illness or any other unmet need (and you would know if that was the case, surely), he simply needs you there, sharing his emotions and empathising with him.
We will move again soon (with my 5 and 2 year olds) and this will surely test my new approach...!

we travel back and forth btween the States every 6m or so because I have family over there. The kids definitely are more clingy and whiny when we return. Some of it is jet lag, some of it is the changes. I try hard to get back into a routine with them (tho the more relaxed one...doing more things are home and not running all over the place with them). It always seems to be abt a week to 2 weeks before we really recover.
Basically I acknowledge them and their feelings, Yes we're tired... Are we feeling a little sad?... Oh dear are you needing more cuddles and kisses?... and basically am the kissing cuddling tickling monster mommy as much as I can be which seems to help reassure that the even tho things have changed, I'm still the same and can be relied upon.
good luck