squeely cry / FAS / scared mommy (long-ish)

[Evita]

I'm a bit worried about my 13 month old daughter's behaviour. Basically it's my fault in a way as I was drinking very heavily when first pregnant (various traumas coming to a head) but I stopped as soon as I found out I was expecting which was about 5 weeks in. Since then DP and I have always slightly worried about the affects my drinking might have had on our daughter but when she was born without any of the physical signs of fetal alcohol syndrome we were quite reassured. Now she's getting a bit older, however, I do notice ways in which she's different to other babies. She has an incredibly high pitched squeely cry which she does very quickly over anything and everything with lots of tears and being quite inconsolable. I read an article on FAS and it stated that this was quite characteristic of some of the behavioural problems that come with the syndrome and I'm now very scared about how these will manifest themselves. I feel incredibly guilty about my drinking and if I could turn back the clock I would. Are there any moms out there with experience of FAS or does anyone have any advice or information that might help me? I'd be grateful for any help at all at this point.

Evita I wouldnt worry about it being the drinking, that wouldnt necessarily be the cause. I didnt realise I was pregnant with my first daughter and being young used to drink an awful lot myself then. All children have different cries, some are very high pitched and it doesnt necessarily mean there is something wrong. If you are at all concerned though speak to your HV and hopefully she can put your mind at rest.

Yes, but you know HV's, well mine at least, the moment I mention alcohol they'll have the social workers in! Really, they're like the police round here. I feel worried if I take my daughter to see them with a little bruise on her head. I wish one could have access to paediatricians without going through HV's.

I am sure drinking into 5 weeks of your pregnancy has not caused any problems for your child. I don't the baby is connected to your blood so early anyway. Lots of women don't realise they are pregnant until many weeks into the their pregnancy. When I was pregnant with DD I drank and smoked like a trooper for the first weeks and DD is absolutely fine.

That's reassuring, thanks. I drank and smoked like a trooper too. But I've felt lousy about it since. I was really a VERY heavy drinker in the first few weeks of pregnancy and I read that that was when the MOST damage to the fetus occurs. After 12 weeks it gets less.

Evita, if it helps you I also had vaccination against polio (live vaccine) and 3 other jabs when I was around six weeks pregnant with DD (I was going travellign and hadno idea I was pregnant).
My friend also loves to remind me about the day I consumed 2 bottles of red wine and we smoked 3 packs of cigarettes between us while I was pregnant.I think that classifies as a heavy drinker...LOL

Is she developing normally, Evita? If she is then I wouldnt worry about her cry. Usually children with FFS have development delays aswell as some physical charachteristics. There is a site with some info on but it is a bit frightening. I will give you the web address if you like but if everytthing else appears normal, I really wouldnt worry.

Agree with everyone else though most people do drink early on in pregnancy without realising they are pregnant

Thanks everyone.

fio2, I'd appreciate that web site address if you don't mind giving it to me? I've already read some scary stuff so am prepared.

It's 'www.specialchild.com ' look in the disorder zone and it's listed there. You most probably have nothing to worry about though and some of the stuff is quite frightening on there (I think so anyway!)

Evita: dinosaur is right! I asked my GP about this, as had also had a heavy social drinking period when DS was conceived. Her reaction was 'well, how do you thik most conceptions happen!"!!!! and then explained that just like a hens egg, the embryo relies on it's own yolk for the first few weeks, before the placenta has fomed, and at that stage nothing (like alcohol) from the mothers bloodstream gets through. In the event, DS was born with a 'congenital abnormality', (a designer bone arrangement in his leg / foot) so I asked the head orthpeadic consultant in a major teaching hospital if drinking in early pregnancy could have caused it, and her story was the same as the G.ps; absolutely not.
But if you are worried about your DD, you do need to find help and support. A high cry and volatile behaviour don't sound so unusual for a 13 month old! Is she developing in all the other ways...crawling, cruising, making animal sounds and maybe attempting the odd word or her own equivalent?

I think the key here is 'guilt' - you feel guilty that your drank in the first five weeks before you knew you were pregnant, hence when your dd does something a bit different you interpret it as related to the drinking....and it almost certainly isn't!

All kids have their little idiosyncracies and individual pecularities, and if your daughter is doing most of the milestones relating to her age I am sure she is 100% fine

Blimey, yes, guilt. Non-stop guilt. I really truly feel wretched and would hate myself forever if I'd done her any harm even though I know I would never have meant to.

Time to drop the guilt Evita though if you possibly can. You honestly and truly have done your daughter no harm. Don't let this keep eating away at you!

Evita, I drank like a fish during the first few weeks of dd1's conception. In fact I remember distinctly downing a half-bottle of champagne on my 37th birthday, saying firmly 'I can't be pregnant because you can't drink if you're pregnant and I'm drinking so I can't be'. Four hours later I did a pregnancy test

(Oh, and she's fine.)

FAS is pretty rare even in alcoholics who drink bottles of vodka every day. And it is accompanied by distinctive facial characteristics and developmental delay.
As others have said, the baby does not connect to the maternal bloodstream until it's third week of life or thereabouts (fifth week of pregnancy by normal dating). Until then it is pretty shock proof. Please don't worry. Your baby does sound perfectly normal.

Thanks for all the reassurances. I'm feeling less paranoid about it now and more confident that she is ok, maybe just a little sensitive. I read some more info on FAS and related things and it seems that v. low birth weight and continual failure to thrive are common signs, neither of which my daughter has. The learning difficulty aspects won't really show up until an older age so there's no point worrying myself silly and stressing everyone out is there?

I did a lot of stuff I shouldn't have done when I was first pregnant and didn't know, including coming off a jet ski at a huge speed and really hurting myself and the usual drinking etc etc. It sounds mad but I didn't realise I was pregnant for a while, I didn't really ever have periods and hadn't had an 'accident' as it were so it didn't cross my mind. I was party / mad girl and when I found out I was pregnant I went straight for a scan that day and told every professional what I had done and they all assured me it was ok, just to look after myself now. If you stopped at 5 weeks in I would be very surprised if your drinking would have harmed your daughter.