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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

One year old hates swimming, what would you do?

43 replies

spewgloriousspew · 10/05/2012 11:03

We've been taking him swimming since he was about 3 months old. He's been having 'lessons' since he was about 5 months old.

He now HATES it - sobbing his way through. Proper upset tears, too. Not just pissed off tears.

I've tried him with a wetsuit, in case he is cold. Makes no difference. Tried taking him after a nap, in case he's tired. Again, no difference.

The teacher tells me to keep taking him outside of lesson times as he might get over it. We're half way through the term for lessons, so will persevere with those. But unsure whether to keep going at weekends in our free time.

Has anyone else had a child go through a similar stage? What did you do? Did they get over it, or did you give up?

Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lostboysfallin · 10/05/2012 11:13

I hated taking DS to those early lessons, he used to kick up such a fuss.
But he is now a real water baby, loves it. Could swim before he was 4.I have friends whose children hate/are scared of the water now at 4.5.

I'd rather struggle with a 1 year old, than a 4th old!!

Do you take him outside the lessons? Make it fun in nice warm baby pool.

wolvesarejustoldendaydogs · 10/05/2012 11:13

Personally, I would stop. One is very young, and it is not true that you have to begin swimming as a baby to be a good swimmer later. I took DS2 to swimming lessons from about 10 months and he didn't like it at all (it didn't help that the timing of the lesson coincided with his usual naptime so he was overtired).

So, I stopped taking him. He is now almost 3 and has just started swimming lessons (he has no memory of going before). He loves it, and is already swimming on his own (with loads of armbands and a woggle, but not being held by an adult IYSWIM).

I really wouldn't force a child who is unhappy - more likely to create a phobia about it, I think.

seeker · 10/05/2012 11:14

If he doesn't like it, don't take him!

wolvesarejustoldendaydogs · 10/05/2012 11:14

x-posted with lostboy. Two contradictory views, sorry OP!

Mopswerver · 10/05/2012 11:17

Our pool won't take children for lessons before they are 5. I used to take mine once a week and we spent about 20 mins in the pool then had a treat in the cafe afterwards . Sometimes it's the cold/ the loud boominess of the acoustics that can upset them so I think in the early yrs it's best to keep it short & make it fun rather than "lessons". Both of mine could swim before they started formal lessons at 5yrs.

ragged · 10/05/2012 11:20

I would stop lessons & just go once every 1-2 months to a toddler session or somewhere similar with shallow water, and if he didn't want to do any more than sit on the side & chuck things in then so be it.

ime, having taken some DC frequently & some fairly rarely, it makes little difference to water confidence & ability come age 4-5yo, so no need to push it now. It is worthwhile taking them more regularly from about 3.5-4.5yo.

Original poster

spewgloriousspew · 10/05/2012 11:22

Thanks all, I appreciate all views and know that I'll get different opinions on here!

lostboys- I do try to take him at the weekends, outside of lessons. Lots of splashing, smiles (from us) and toys, but he just doesn't like it. How long did his phase of hating it last?

I doubt I'll continue with lessons after this term, but since I've paid for this lot, I'll keep on going. What I'm really wondering is whether to bother to take him at weekends. And to canvas opinion from those who have been there, done that.

It's not a water phobia (he loves bath time).

OP posts:

PiedWagtail · 10/05/2012 11:22

I'd stop taking him! He doesn't need to learn to swim yet, does he?? Give him a break for a few months or even more and try him again. Don't sweat it - he's hardly likely to be in a position where he needs to learn to swim to save his life in the next couple of years! I didn't start my dd at swimming classes till she was 6 because it's such a faff and I put it off for as long as possible and she took to it really well then, listened to the teacher, and has gone up 5 levels in 2 years, overtaking her friends who have been swimming since they were tiny

lostboysfallin · 10/05/2012 11:22

Actually my first instinct was to say , don't take him, he doesn't have to go!
But then I remembered DS was a nightmare and he got through it.

I think most kids don't start lessons until later on.

I was insistent that DS be competent in the water as we were abroad a lot, friends with pools, and he couldn't be trusted not to jump in. So not normal circumstances really

seeker · 10/05/2012 11:24

Do you live near the sea? Do you have a pool, or do you have a lot of friends with pools?

If not, then learning to swim is pretty low priority.

NagooIsBuildingAnArk · 10/05/2012 11:24

Stop taking him and try again in 6 months or so.

I don't think they will get anything out of it yet anyway TBH.

boxyfoxy · 10/05/2012 11:26

my daughter was afraid of the water and wouldn't go in at all, as a baby and toddler, she used to cling to me so hard she's leave red marks on my skin where she was gripping me. I never pushed it, just a little anyway, just enough to show her that it could be fun. I never felt comfortable to force her. (Incidentally, we never had the opportunity to actually swim in a pool, we lived in a remote glen in scotland, so all our swimming was in the rivers and lochs.) She loved to watch her brothers and sister jump into the water though. She's now 6 and I put her into one of those week long intensive lesson courses at the pool (we moved back down south) and she did really well, but is still very reluctant to put her head under the water. She has done swimming lessons at school, and now she loves to go to the pool, and can swim a little, but we shall persevere over the next year to get her to go underneath the water.

Original poster

spewgloriousspew · 10/05/2012 11:28

I think I've fallen into the middle-class trap where you have to take your baby swimming, because it's just what you do. I don't take him to any other fancy classes but had hoped that he'd enjoy swimming and that it could teach him some life-saving skills (I know this sounds ridiculous as he can't even walk or talk!).

All the other mums I know take their kids swimming and they all love it, don't you know. But hearing from you lot that, actually, some kids just don't like it and not to sweat it has been great. Thank you .

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 10/05/2012 11:35

DS was so scared of the water at 1 that I couldn't put him in the bath! I had to start by washing him on the draining board and putting his feet in the kitchen sink and work from there. He hated swimming similarly so I took a similar approach - we went every week without fail and went in every time. Sometimes for only five minutes. Lots of toys, lots of playing. If I missed a week he regressed and went back to screaming so I was relentless in taking him until it suddenly clicked.

When he was old enough for proper lessons (alone), I got in the pool too and stayed to play with him afterwards.

It worked.

He is now 6 and totally comfortable in the water, loves it and swims well.

Personally decided to persevere as I've seen children at 6 and 7 scared of the water and its much much harder to change things then.

But I'd certainly stop paying for the privilege!

marthastew · 10/05/2012 11:36

Is it the surroundings that is the problem? Loud, cold, lots of strangers, the changing room? What about joining a gym with a pool for a while - they tend to be quieter and smaller?

What about taking a few favourite bath toys to play with on the steps of the pool in just a few inches of water? Recreate a few of the things he likes about bath time at home?

Next time you go on holiday go somewhere with a pool and let him go at his own pace - maybe just watching other children enjoying the water?

Personally, I would take a total break, even if you have paid for the lessons, as you don't want to reinforce negative associations and then re-start very gently.

Could he even just watch the lessons while paddling? Have you spoken to the swimming teacher?

Original poster

spewgloriousspew · 10/05/2012 11:44

Martha - the pool where we have lessons is in a holiday cottage. Very quiet and warm, just another child in the lesson. So, nothing to get upset about.

The public pool we use at weekends is busier but since he doesn't like the lessons, I'm not convinced it's the noise.

I think I will ask about just watching the lesson. I spoke to the teacher and she admitted that she didn't know what to suggest .

On the plus side, it has knackered him out!

OP posts:

festivalwidow · 10/05/2012 12:17

My DD loved swimming when I first took her at 1 year, then at around 18 months she started refusing to do some bits point-blank (like going under water): our teacher suggested that we just miss out the bits she didn't like and concentrated on the bits she did.
After about three months it was like a switch had flicked and she loves every element of it again (I have trouble keeping hold of her when she tries to jump into the pool, where previously she'd be hanging around my neck and saying 'No!')
If he still likes some bits of the swimming, I'd carry on and just do the bits he likes, if he hates all of it I would leave it for a while. Letting him splash about in the bath or at a water park will be nice for him in the meantime.

claireinmodena · 10/05/2012 12:26

I would leave it for a while and try again in a few months. Thats what I did with bith of mine. They started proper lessons at age 4-5 and they were fine (mostly)

QuintessentialShadows · 10/05/2012 12:29

Stop pushing your wee baby to be submerged in water if he does not like it!

Dont you think the teacher is trying tell you something when she asking you to remove him from the pool? She cant kick you out, you have paid, but really, why is it so important that the baby "swims"?

helpyourself · 10/05/2012 12:32

Leave it for a bit, then go just for fun- then you can just concentrate on his needs, not the lesson.

He's knackered because he's stressed

DialsMavis · 10/05/2012 12:33

Stop the lessons if he doesn't like it, surely they are meant to be fun at this age? I never bothered with any swimming lesson for DS, he could swim by 4 or 5 years old.

jobnockey · 10/05/2012 13:22

this happened to me... i took DS to swimming 'lessons' from about 5mo, which he seemed to enjoy for quite a long time - once he got to about 18mo though he suddenly started really hating it - kicking up a fuss, sobbing, not wanting to do any of the activities. I persevered for a while and then just thought to myself 'why the hell am I putting us both through this - he obviously doesn't like it'. We stopped going to lessons and now i just take him every other week or so to the kids swimming session where we can just play together and he loves it. I think it was the structure of the lessons he didn't like. He's 3 now and can swim fine with his armbands on, jumps in, floats on his back etc but he had to do it in his own time.

i personally think not being afraid of the water is more important than knowing how to swim when they're little. Those early lessons are just as much for parents i think. Now me and DS are both confident in the water together and its stress free!

Even if you LO doesn't like swimming in a non lesson environment it doesn't really matter i'm sure there'll be other activities he does enjoy with you...

OneLittleBabyTerror · 10/05/2012 13:30

spewgloriousspew I think I'm in the same position. I started taking DD to swimming lessons at 5mo, because it's something that everyone here does. She is now 13mo and has just started to hate it. She's ok at the start of the lesson, but by the end, she hangs onto me like I'm going to sell her off to a stranger! Are you doing water babies? They have these humty dumty games, and there's no way she'll sit on the side of the pool for the song. She goes straight back into the water and put her arms around my neck.

I also don't know whether to continue or not. But I've paid for lessons till the end of July.

TheHouseofMirth · 10/05/2012 13:31

DS2 has been through many phases of this and now at 3yo loves the pool but we just go and play in the water rather than formal lessons. I don't think because your son hates it now that it means he will get worse. He's not like an adult or older child who need to face and overcome a water fear. He is very young and they go through so many developmental changes, you have no real idea what's at the heart of this and I think it's unkind to force him to do it. Any decent children's swimming teacher would allow you to suspend your classes until he's ready to try again.

lockets · 10/05/2012 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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