4YO DD 'doesn't like daddy'

[nofairytale]

My 4.5yr old DD is a mummy's girl, always has been..but she is becoming increasingly hurtful in her comments to her dad. This morning, after he greeted her cheerfully and politely 'good morning', she ignored him and when i asked her to answer him she said 'no,i don't like daddy'... i tried talking to her privately about this but she just coldly dismissed him saying she just didn't like him ??!! DH is a great father to her, ok he works long hours but sees her as much as he can, and does much more with her tbh than i do, like baking etc...he even had 9 months off with her from the age of 10 months when he was redundant... but she has been like this with him since she was about 2 years old...surely this isn't normal??!!

Actually, it is normal.
Most children go through phases of expressing love for one parent and dislike of the other. Usually the mummy gets the love merely for being around more and Daddy gets the dislike for being around less.
Don't worry, it's very common and is only a phase, which will pass. It is most certainly hurtful, but neither you nor your DH should take it to heart or worry about it.
He should continue to spend as much time as he can with her to reinforce their relationship. She will snap out of it and realise how much she loves him soon enough.

Children don't mean every word they say literally. It's probably just your dc's rather confusing way of saying 'I'd like it if daddy could be around more so we could get closer'. Just carry on as you are, from what you've written you sound like very caring parents.

.... Because she probably won't remember the time he was off with her if she was 10 months old.

I have similar here, DS is 4 and often howls when DH puts him to bed because he "wants Mummy to do it!" It does seem to go in phases though, a few months back it was all about Daddy and how wonderful he is at everything, I was only deemed good at cuddles!

No experience of this myself but there was a letter and some advice about exactly this in The Guardian a couple of months ago, which may be reassuring, here.

jacquesie thank you, that's really helpful

Have no personal experience of this but was watching an episode of Tiny Tearaways recently with a similar problem. Although perhaps more severe, this child would scream blue murder if her mother tried to put her to bed.

Tanya had them present a united front - treat it like any other bad behaviour 'if you speak to Daddy like that again you will be on the naughty step' or whatever. Personally I would be concerned in case it got any worse but the general feeling here seems to be that its a phase so they're probably right.