how old were yours when they played out?

[3duracellbunnies]

I'm talking about unsupervised up and down the pavement play. We live on the sort of road you only go down if you are going somewhere local, but cars do go quite quickly. Dd1's classmates have played out since they were in reception (though each has an older sib two years ahead). The houses are such that the mothers definitely aren't sitting with a cup of tea in the front garden watching them, mine and another front garden are sloping upwards with walls, no visability, and the other one is set back and on a slope. I should say that I feel both parents for me have let go too soon, sending a 4yr old to play unsupervised (although I probably wasn't much older when I did; but that was a long time ago!!!), but am curious as to when I should. One of them had another classmate round who was playing quite happily (though not sure his mother would approve).

Dd1 is now coming to the end of year 2(she is 7), dd2 is in reception. Neither of them are left unsupervised, they are both at the stage where they go into toilet cubicles etc without me and I wouldn't be watching them all the time at the park, but they don't play out, or go to the local shops, and I don't know when I would be happy for them to do that. They do brownies/rainbow, swimming and dancing, so we are fairly busy after school, when we are home it is usually homework, an imaginary game with them and ds(2.5), garden (when not waterladen), or cbbc.

Dd1 isn't particularly friends with these two children, and said she wouldn't want to (think she is shocked that they are out without their parents watching), but I know that she will need to learn to be more independent. It doesn't have to be playing with these children, who are a little wild, but just generally going out without me. She has a good sense of road safety and is quite sensible. Of course once she does, dd2 will want to too.

I agree that it is unfair to ask older children to take responsibility for younger ones, at least until the younger ones are old enough to mostly take responsibility for themselves IYSWIM. I would only ask a very select group of adults to do this, let alone another child - I always think about the effect on the child who was looking after if the unthinkable happened.

Mine were 7 and 5 but we lived in a quiet cul de sac with loads of other kids. I let my DS walk to the shop crossing a road and buy a loaf of bread when he was eight. He was very bright, streetwise and sensible.

I probably would trust my child to be in the house on her own for 5 mins yes, (probably not in the bath tho :) ) would I actually do it? No. that would be against the law, whereas letting them play outside with other children is not.
For me it is important to give them a little bit of freedom and learn to be responsible.

House is it against the law? And at what age are you allowed to let them stay at home whilst you pop to the shop?

I don't do it myself yet, although I let DD1 & DD2 out for hours on end, they think they are very responsible and more importantly trusted.

If only they knew the amount of texts between us mums goes on!

"all 7 in my house"
"2 left in a strop"
"Everyone gone back to the park"

Yes sharpobjects I am continually sending texts along lines of "X is here" or "please can u send kamer's dc home"...

As often posted on MN there is no law about how old a child has to be before they can be left at home.

What is against the law is neglect - so you have to judge what that is. Clearly a 2yo on their own all day and evening is not OK; equally clearly (to me at any rate) a 10yo in the house while you take the 7yo to Beavers 10 mins away (which is how we started with this independence) is fine.

My 3 play out btw but are older than some posting here - DS2 is just turned 9yo. All 3 (DS1 is 12, DD 10) walk home from school on their own; all 3 are allowed to be in the house alone tho I am not mad about leaving DS2 for long as he is still the baby (!); in any case it doesn't come up often for him as it is usually him that is going to an activity!

DS's (9, 6 and 5) play 'out' regularly. They pack up their rucksacks with a bottle of water, apple, packet of crisps, Swiss army knife, tissues etc... and go off for hours (they do not have mobile phones!!) However, we live on a farm in the middle of nowhere - so they rarely come across a road, only country lanes. Tis the way we were brought up 30 years ago .....
I regularly leave them on their own if I have to go out and they don't want to come - but they are capable and sensible so I don't worry about it... I know some children that I wouldn't leave home at 15 let alone 5!!! Depends on the child, the circumstances and how you've bought them up. My DSis never let her kids out to play, or left them at home alone - they struggled to be independent until in their 20's, however, it has not impacted on their lives or careers - they just had a different way of doing things.

My son was 8 but I would only let him out if he was with a friend ( we are in a cul de sac) and he would have to come in if they went in.

My daughter wants to play out now she is five but I've said no to her.

7-8yo, very limited range & only with someone else.

DD is 10yo & goes a bit over half mile away to meet up with her BF.

We were playing out unsupervised from 4-5yo, wandering where we liked, so I feel I quite cosset mine, but no pavement & no other local children typically, so opportunities/safe spaces are different. Also, DS7 has little sense, so I would rather he wasn't out on his own until at least 9. Plus the earlier you let the older ones out, the more aggravation you get from younger ones to get out, so I'm holding his lead tight for now.

I let DS7yo + DS4yo run around the corner to look at a tractor the other day, I followed on 2-3 minutes later.

Actually I guess I lied a bit, I will let DS7 cycle up and down the road occasionally for a few minutes on his own (quiet country lane). But usually DS4 wants to join in so no opportunity for DS7 to be on his own for long, anyway.

I dare say DS7 has more sense on his own than with anyone else present.

DDs are 8 and 6, and have been playing out since Christmas. We live in a very quiet cul de sac and DD1 has a few school friends here too.Usually they are just in our neighbour's garden, and i shout them from the landing when they need to come in! DS is 2.7 and only allowed in the garden.

I've lived in this road since i was 6 (32 nearly now) and i know most of the residents. If I didn't i think it would be different.

Around 7 but we live in a quiet rural village and a set a strict 'wandering circle', which has grown over the yrs!

DS1 (4.5yrs) escapes outside all the time, he loves it and I feel confident with him playing out. Our street is a cul de sac and has 9 houses and all on the same side of the road and a little fenced patch of grass opposite our house.

DS2 (3.3ys) is only allowed outside when I supervise as he isn't as aware as the DS1 - he never stops to look for cars, where DS1 is very careful. DS1 was also born at 30 years - he's an old sole and knows too much for his age - which just makes mothering even more challenging. I've told them both to walk/scoot up the street on the footpath and both follow this rule (the road has a slight blind corner).

7 and 8 and they don't play out. As already been said it depends on where you live, maturity of your child, child they play with and the parents of the child they are playing with etc. My DS 8 had boy in his class who lived two streets away. I agreed they could play in our house or garden or friends house and garden and explained this to DS, friend & friends mum. friend had been allowed to roam since reception and took a shine to my son last summer. I trusted them to walk round together when the friend called after checking this was ok with his mum. We trialled this and i had to call a halt to it as his friend had few boundaries, was allowed to disappear for hours on end, was forever calling round or phoning up for my DS at all hours, had no bed times, very late meals, showed little respect for our house or garden or my neighbours and was disruptive and cheeky. He was also well aware of my sons boundaries but said if my DS was at his house it was his mums rules (basically no rules). So I put a stop to this, I know my son needs a little independence he goes to cubs and does a lot of sport but i and my family don't need the extra worry hassle or upset of him playing out (epecially with this lad). If and when your children are ready to play out you will know. Give them little amounts of freedom and trust and build this up gradually (it also helps if the parents of the children they are playing with are on a similar wave length to you so you could swap texts and share keeping a look out etc. Also if you have younger child they are disrupted and want to follow hot on the heels of elder child.