Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Is the development of a second child typically slower than that of a first?

21 replies

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 14/02/2006 18:16

Just wondering as Ive noticed that ds2's development (talking, potty training, knowing colours etc) has been slower than that of ds1.

I am not at all worried about ds2 as he is a happy, lively little boy who is getting there in his own time. He can talk but seeing as he has a dummy stuck in his mouth most of the time we dont actually get to hear him talk much. Also he doesnt seem ready to start using the potty (again I am not concerned as its too cold to be walking round half dressed anyhow and hes not 2 til next month)

Ds1 on the other hand was talking in sentances by 15 months and was also potty trained (I only remember as thats when ds2 was born)

Again, I am not at all worried about ds2's development but was more wondering if it is common that second children develope at a slower rate than first borns - maybe due to the first child having more 1-2-1 time and attention?

Id appreciate your thoughts

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mummytosteven · 14/02/2006 18:17

15 months is very very early for potty training and talking in sentences. I imagine any second child would find it hard to keep up to the standard!!!

Original poster

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 14/02/2006 18:20

Its not that im worried about him 'keeping up' or anything like that. I know ds1 was a quick learner and I also know that my ds2 is just as bright and tbh I am in no rush for him to 'grow up' as he is my baby

I was just more curious as to whether there was a pattern to it iyswim

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 14/02/2006 18:20

no there are equal reasons for them being quickewr too, I think development is such a wide spectrum bith physical and mental

expatinscotland · 14/02/2006 18:21

Just the opposite in our case. DD2 appears to be racing along at a much faster rate - she's gaining weight faster and hitting motor skills faster.

GDG · 14/02/2006 18:28

Potty trained adn talking in sentences at 15 months?? Hmmm, not your average child then.

Original poster

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 14/02/2006 18:44

Hes very average, I just had the time and patience to do the whole potty training thing when there was just him (although he still isnt dry at nights and hes 3.5 - I did read somewhere that the earlier you train them the longer it takes to get them dry at night, hmm or have i just made that up, god knows )

and by sentances i mean "I want juice" etc not "well hello there mother and how was your day today"

OP posts:

nutcracker · 14/02/2006 18:48

Tamba I was constantly worried about dd2's development as a baby/toddler because Dd1 had been very quick to learn most things and had bben ahead of her peers the majority of the time.

My health visitor said I was unwittingly judging dd2 by dd1's standards and that I should not think about what dd1 could do and at what age and then compare to dd2 because all babies develop at different rates wether siblings or not.

CarolinaMoon · 14/02/2006 18:49

God, ds is 15mo and we are lucky to get more than "duh" for duck out of him atm . I was hoping not to have to potty train him for at least a year...

nutcracker · 14/02/2006 18:50

I honestly wouldn't worry Tamba.

Original poster

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 14/02/2006 18:53

Im honestly not worried about ds2s development, hes bright and happy and sweet...

but was just wondering whether typically it runs that second children develope slower than first borns.

Just to reitterate im not at all worried about ds2.

OP posts:

nutcracker · 14/02/2006 19:00

IMO Dd2 did develop slower than Dd1 yeah but like you said, with your first you have more time to devote to things that you don't have once there are two.

franke · 14/02/2006 19:09

IME, no. DS (20 mo) has been much quicker off the mark on most developmental stages than DD (3y). Can't see any reason for it - well I'm sure I could assign all sorts of reasons for it eg the nature of their respective births for a start. But that wouldn't be very scientific so I'm not going to.

Babyblue2 · 14/02/2006 19:13

Ten months in and DD2 in progressing a helluvalot faster than DD1 in crawling and walking skills.

Papillon · 14/02/2006 19:14

what is your thougts on this Tamba

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1375&threadid=146777

snailspace · 14/02/2006 20:07

Message withdrawn

yossa · 14/02/2006 20:37

your experience sounds just like my 2 boys. i'm sure ds1 was talking etc much better than s2 seems to be (d1 is 3.9 ds2 is 1.8) i, too put it down partly to the fact that i spent much more time "teaching" ds1, partly down to the fact ds2 has a dummy and ds1 didn't, partly down to the fact he can just say uh uh and ds1 or i will get what he wants and most of all down to the fact he is much more strong willed than ds1 and won't do stuff just to "please" mummy!!

fsmail · 14/02/2006 22:48

DD (2nd) is talking really well at 18 months DS (first) hardly said anything until 2 but walking earlier. I think it really depends on the child.

lazycow · 15/02/2006 08:46

I honestly think it is ds1 who is a bit early rather then ds2 who is late. We all get used to our first child and then are worried/surprised when our second is different.

My ds (15 months) can't walk yet and his only word is du du (duck).

fireflyfairy2 · 15/02/2006 08:50

My second is slower than my first. DD was walking at 11months, ds is now 14months and not a single step from him yet! She was also babbling quite a bit more than ds does...

CaptainDippy · 15/02/2006 09:23

So far, I am the other way round!! DD2 is much more active than DD1 was a this age (8 months) At this age, DD1 was just sitting and playing with stuff in a box, it was blissful!! DD2 has been crawling for over 2 months now and is into everything - a complete menace!! She free stood yesterday and will cruise furninture if given a "hand up"!! Argh!! Perhaps it is an age gap thing!!!!??? I have fifteen months between mine, so perhaps DD2 felt that she had to get a move on before nutty DD1 "got her"!!?

Mmmmmmmmm.......

fennel · 15/02/2006 09:26

my second, born 17 months after my first, has done everything young. now at 4 she is nearly as good at many things as her older sister. i think having a big sister only a bit older has actually speeded up her development, she's always had someone to copy. but she's also very much that sort of child.

dd3 not a particularly fast developer. despite having two big sisters to copy.

i put it mostly down to personality and individual diffference.

Flip