urgent advice needed.8yo dd hell bent on causing mayhem

[liveinazoo]

my 8yo dd has been taking me to the edge last 2 days and im snapping
woken at 4.45 yesterday morning.short shifted her and told to go back to bed quietly and go back to sleep...had other 2 dcsawake by 5
refused return to bed and encouraged other 2 follow her eample.by 6 am it was all singing /shouting and using metal money boxs as percussion by shaking them.
its gone downhill from there really.fighting with little ones both physically and verbally,tantrums,ignoring/arguing my requests
another silly oclock start today
dp has been inconsistant latelyand doesnt live with us.i am struggling as have no RL support
ive tried sending her to bed first
time out
ignoring
removing toys

PLEASE,PLEASE SOMEBODY SHARE A PEARL OF WISDOM

i feel like i just want to leave and never come back

Before now I have put mine in time out in the garden (including barefooted and in the rain) and locked the door - may reduce the wrecking.

I wonder if she is realy struggling with your dp's inconsistancy, is she just desperately missing him and upset over the change in her life?

Have you read "How to talk so kids will listen" book?

Sounds like very attention seeking behaviour

Well done for not throttling her btw.

Can you plan some activities with them for today that they are involved in choosing such as art & craft?

Some mummy & DVD one to one time once the younger 2 are in bed?

I think you need a 2 pronged approach, something to deal with the bad behaviour and rewarding acceptable behaviour.

Would she lilke to be grown up to go downstairs on her own the morning and make her own breakfast and watch TV quietly?

sadly she wouldnt be able manage this without eating the entire contents cupboard

good ideas for 2 pronged attack

will try and put her up last and have abit time

im going out my head but i can see shes struggling and am trying to remind myself shes only doing it cos shes unhappy

I do recommed having the time out somewhere that she can't wreck havoc - it's fine that she may scream and shout in rage in the garden to get out her frustrations tbh.

how about asking her to draw how she feels and see if she will talk to you about it?

That book is really good, well worth getting.

will look it up on amazon.thanks