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4 yr old being lazy -pooing pants!

11 replies

IWantSummer · 04/05/2012 17:21

DS is driving me mental!
He is potty trained, has been for 18mths+
it is pure laziness, he won't want to leave any activity/play area etc and rather 'hold a poo in' or do a wee.
Holding in his poo or letting tiny bits out
He is not bothered by it (not upset or embarrassed) -happily tells me it was an
accident.
Any ideas on what I can do??

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
stleger · 04/05/2012 17:38

Does he have several proper poos per week? if not the 'letting bits out' is a symptom of constipation/holding in. He might need movicol or something to help him learn that it is OK to poo.

BarnMummy · 04/05/2012 17:46

It may not be laziness: it may be encopresis. Have a look at this and see if it fits.

If it does, there is lots of information out there - I can point you to it if it helps!

bloggingmamatotwo · 04/05/2012 18:24

It may not be laziness, it may have happened by accident once or twice and if you are sure it is nothing medical, than you need to go back a stage, it takes about 3 days (give or take) to make/break a habit in children and if he has relaxed enough for it to happen a few times then the muscle memory/brain relationship needs to change, just like whe you pt him.

Firstly I would look at how he acts when he has done it, you say he acts not bothered, are there any other behaviour concerns, I'm not meaning to be alarmist, at all it's just this could be something in a bigger picture. But presuming it's not and this is isolated behaviour there are two ways I would deal with this and they really are dependendent on your DS and the relationship you have with him...and how he responds to rewards/you etc...

And the ideas merge so you could pick of bits from both, but basically if he is happy and comfy to be nakad, I would have him bottomless (if that makes sense..) in the house, as this removes the feeling of something tight like a nappy/pants and does nt allow his mind and his body to relax enough to think/feel it's safe to do a poo...obviously if he reacts to being nakad, this won't work for him, so you could try just trackies/loose trousers - again it's about removing the association of the pants/nappy muscle memory and re;triggering his brain and body to think oh I have to go to the loo do to this...the second stage of being nakad is putting the loose trousers on, then the third stage is introducing pants, you want to do/have 3 days of success at each stage before moving to the next stage and if at one of the stage he has an accident go back to stage one...

Obviously amongst all this, which I'm sure you are already doing; you need to give the accidents no association, not positive or negative, make no comment at all (which we all know is very hard)

Anyway suggestion number 2, is a good old chat/heart to heart and tell him how it's making you sad and you thought he was a big boy bla bla and you don't want to out him in nappies, but you are not sure what else to do and then together come up with a plan....(you obviously jolly him along to this point) then choose a wow toy that he can have if he does a week of accident free, at the end of each day out a star on a chart and very over the top work towards the goal....

Hope that helps......

IWantSummer · 04/05/2012 21:28

Thanks for your replies.
I'm pretty sure it's not medical but won't completely rule it out Smile
He does do regular poo's! Daily or thereabouts.

I've put the lazy label because I watch him, he will be at the playground and rather than leave to go to the toilet he will clench his legs together and push that poo back in GrinGrin. If he sees me watching he will say don't look as he knows that I know what he is doing. He will hide away etc.
We can be playing at home and the toilet is next door and he will still do the same thing.
I think I should try the reward chart, perhaps ask him what he really wants and work towards this.
Today we had two poo accidents and one wee and we didn't leave the house-no excuse I feel!

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MINIBondGirl · 05/05/2012 17:16

My eldest did that. In the end we were advised to go for better rewards so went to a car boot sale and got a big bag of toy cars. He got one every time he went correctly, then after a while got one every day, then week etc. Worked within a few days after struggling for 2+ years.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 05/05/2012 17:22

My friend found that money worked Grin

Her DS gets some coins for his piggy bank when he poos in the toilet (usually 6/8 1 or 2p coins!! which he thinks is loads) and if he poos in his pants then they all get taken out of his piggy bank. It has pretty much solved the problem in under a fortnight. He's 4 as well.

OTOH I had to just about frog march another friend to the GP with her DD and it turned out I was right, she did have a medical problem.

BlackSwan · 05/05/2012 17:28

Money for poos. Perhaps he will grow up to a banker!

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 05/05/2012 17:30

Black - money for shit = banker... yep :)

BlackSwan · 05/05/2012 20:45

That is what I meant, yes! Grin

IWantSummer · 05/05/2012 22:41

Copper coins brilliant!!!
Need to find a piggy bank

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IWantSummer · 05/05/2012 22:42

Bless little thing today he had one coming just as we were entering a building. Did the quick carry to toilets and out came a monster poo Smile

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