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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How much daily screen time do you let your DC have?

62 replies

MrsJamin · 04/05/2012 14:09

DS1 is increasingly addicted to screens at the tender age of 4. We have various "screens", tv, ipad, ps3 and laptop and have no idea how to fairly manage his use of them throughout the day. His ability on some apps is frightening! I need to set up some rules or time limits but I don't know where to start or how to divide it fairly over the different devices. I don't know what is worse, tv or gaming, for eg.
Can you let me know how you manage screen time? How old are your children and how many hours minutes do you let them have?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

butterfingerz · 04/05/2012 14:55

A good book to read is 'Remotely Controlled' by psychologist Aric Sigman. His 'RDA' on screen time of all types is 1hr max for your sons age, this RDA is backed up by medical studies so it's not just a figure plucked out of thin air.

Obviously you still want your DS to be a 'child of our time' but there's so many risks to brain development with too much screen time, particularly to our frontal lobes which controls our social selves, that book is really worth a read.

O2BNormal · 04/05/2012 15:06

My boys are 9 & 12 and they get 1 hour max in the week maybe more with good behaviour at the weekend. That's all screen time, TV,WII, PC etc. They get to chose which they use, but once the hour's up it's up. They also have to negotiate with each other as to whose turn it is to have which.

Telling a lie is punished by a week's screen ban and other misdemeanors by 1-2 days. It's useful to have something to ban when you need a punishment or to allow extra of when you need a reward, but they are definitely bad for them. At 4 DS1's behaviour became markedly more aggressive when he spent too long in front of a screen. (even touchy feely things on CBeebies)

We've never allowed hand held games, taking books out when we might otherwise have taken an electronic gadget has worked well for us.

Ragwort · 04/05/2012 15:34

What do your boys enjoy doing when they aren't having screen time O2BNormal? My 11 year old DS just loves TV and his PS2 (not allowed anything else & the PS2 is ex charity shop ). I am quite strict about limiting it but if the weather is bad and he can't get outside or he doesn't have after school clubs (he is very sporty and does things most evenings) he is very bolshy. He doesn't enjoy reading, cooking, playing board games, chatting with me and DH , homework ........... just grunts and becomes generally unpleasant when we say no more TV. Probably doesn't help that he's an only child ! Like you, we've always had books etc when going out, he's never had a DS or whatever you call them.

O2BNormal · 04/05/2012 15:41

Mine was the same Ragwort and the first few days of the "regime" were quite painful, but it's amazing what happens if you stick to your guns.

He does read, or make things, play with toy soldiers, lego, reads recipe books and offers to cook dinner (not always helpful help iyswim, but must do him some good) even tidies his room sometimes . He spends a lot of time listening to music through headphones - you can get children's ones which have limited volume, but look "normal"

DS2 likes to "help", is a dab hand at windows! Would never want to do it if he could have screens instead, but when he can't will try most things.

Ragwort · 04/05/2012 15:48

Thanks O2B that is helpful. I guess we just need to be a lot stricter and get through the pain ......

I had forgotton about music, he does like that (but that's something I don't really approve of either ).

I have lovely visions of sitting happily as a family playing board games - which I love - but life's not really like that. Funnily enough he has a couple of friends who come round who know I like board games and ask to play them with me !!

alarkaspree · 04/05/2012 15:56

Since my dc started school we have cut back, and they have only occasional screen time during the week now (like one or two days a week, not every day). I think some children need to have limits imposed more than others - my dd will watch tv for half an hour and then get bored and go and read a book or draw, ds would watch tv or play computer games all day if you let him, and when he can't do that or play outside he is quite resistant to finding anything else he wants to do. Computer games are so instantly entertaining, I think there's a danger of some children forgetting how to amuse themselves in other ways.

notcitrus · 04/05/2012 16:22

More than I expected, but ds (3.8) only watches CBeebies in the mornings and then sometimes a lot of prerecorded programmes, so he's unfamiliar with adverts. Also he will go off and play with other toys in the lounge, whereas when dn is over he is glued to the screen so I make more effort to turn it off.

Tee2072 · 04/05/2012 16:25

As much as he wants. I think there are much more serious things to worry about.

Original poster

MrsJamin · 04/05/2012 16:27

Bloody hell at 1hour. We have a long way to go if we are going to stick to that. Problem I have is that DS1 is not at school yet so spends a lot of time at home and we have to be in until at least 3pm when DS2 wakes from his nap. We are in a small house with limited capacity for an abundance of toys. I try to provide lots of games, Lego and activities for DS1 but he isn't great at playing by himself. Not sure how I can work on that.

OP posts:

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 04/05/2012 16:31

dd1 (5) has unlimited screentime. she's out of the house a lot, so the absolute most she could possible have is 1hr 45. I reckon the average days is about 3 lots of 20mins.
dd2 is 18mo and doesn't "get" telly yet, so watches none through her own choosing.

irregularegular · 04/05/2012 16:33

My two are 9 and 8.

They are allowed 1 hr on weekdays (except Wednesday which is 'no screen day'), 1.5 hrs on Saturdays and 2 hrs on Sundays (our lie in day!)

Occasionally we'll watch a film together as a family and then they may end up having more.

I hate having to ration it and make it the 'forbidden fruit' - it irritates me that they don't want to do other things instead - but I'm sure they would spend far too much time on the computer otherwise, so this is ok as a compromise. It's also got better recently as they've got better about managing their own time - so they'll say 'I'll have 30 mins of my time now' and set a timer. Though R has developed a technique of cutting it into lots of small bits and each time he has to stop just going a little bit over...

ragged · 04/05/2012 16:43

DS is 4 & probably gets about 3 hrs/day. More on nursery days (they have a computer there, too). I find Aric Sigman's guidelines & his other areas of advice ridiculous unrealistic.

School age DC get unlimited time on "educational" games & activities, on the DS (only DC1 has one, and his favourite thing is FlipNotes), shopping/research/social time at my discretion, and "leisure" time on PC/TV of 2 hrs on non school days only (they have to do chores for leisure time, too). With some days of no time in holidays. They can trade & share time between themselves. Plus some evening times (like last night they got to watch TV during tea, or when they watch something with me &/or DH).

We didn't even own a TV until DC1 was 5yo, so I raised DC1+2 very differently from DC3+DC4. DC1 + DC4 are the addicts, DC2+DC3 aren't bothered about watching hardly anything.

NoWave · 04/05/2012 19:28

Aric Sigman is the same guy who claimed that Facebook causes cancer:

www.badscience.net/2009/02/the-evidence-aric-sigman-ignored/

ZZZenAgain · 04/05/2012 19:34

how much a day/week do you think he has atm Mrs J? If you don't know, maybe you could monitor it for a week and just note down how much he actually does.You said he has 4 different things (tv, ipad, ps3, laptop) so if you were to limit it, could you make it one thing a day, tv on the day where his favourite programme is on maybe.

I think an hour would be a good limit. He is only 4. I would think about having a screen free day too without being overly dramatic about it, maybe at the weekend , so Saturday is family day and no screens, something like that

iamme43 · 04/05/2012 20:05

son 10 yrs old.

Has as much as he wants.

IWantMyHatBack · 04/05/2012 20:11

am at you Ragwort - don't approve of music? Whaaaaaaaaat?

DS has loads of screen time. Up to 4 hours a day. Some days it's just an hour, some days he may watch a couple of films and some TV. I do notice when he's watched too much and cut it down, but he's used to it :)

Plenty of people I know have it on in the background all day.. I don't know a single person in real life who limits to one hour a day.

Original poster

MrsJamin · 04/05/2012 20:42

One hour just seems ludicrous and unlikely. At present he has 30mins before preschool of either iPad or tv, then after lunch an hour (chill out time as he's tired from preschool), then an hour around teatime while I am making tea and after tea. These are prObably conservative estimates so could be more than 2.5 hours a day.

OP posts:

ZZZenAgain · 04/05/2012 20:46

it is your dc so I am not fussed what you do in the end but what do you want? You say he does about 2.5 hours a day and you think it needs regulating somehow but you feel 1 hour would be ludicrous. So what do you want to do? - Reduce it to 1.5 hours or 2? It is up to you. For me personally an hour a day even at 4 would have been too much.

Or did I miss your point? Do you not want to reduce it but just decide which of these screens he should be spending most time on, i.e. what you find most valuable for him?

hillyhilly · 04/05/2012 20:49

I was going to post the same q as my 7 and 4 yr olds are glued to the computer for as long as possible. This is fairly recent and while they get on really well together while they're on it which I do like, my dds behaviour (7) in particular has been terrible this week which has led me to say that they should only have one hour per day in future - which prompted a meltdown! I did notice when she was quite little that her behaviour really seems to be affected by too much telly and her pc time crept up without me really noticing.
We'll give it a go.

FrankWippery · 04/05/2012 20:50

As much as they want. Some days it can be none, others it can be a couple or three hours. More if it's pissing down outside. Meh, far more pressing things to concern myself with that how much television is watched.

Springforward · 04/05/2012 20:53

Blimey. We don't count, DS puts the telly on himself, though we do make a point of leaving it on CBeebies so he doesn't see endless adverts. No computer games/ similar though, I would probably count hours then.

girliefriend · 04/05/2012 20:59

My dd is 6 yo and watches about 15mins before school and about an hour after school (normally between 5pm and 6pm when she is very tired and grumpy and starting to do my head in)

On a weekend I am more relaxed and she can watch an hour in the morning so I can have a nice lie in and she usually watches a dvd or film at somepoint over the weekend. She has only just started being interested in cbeebies type games on the laptop and I would limit that to a max of 45mins

I would much rather she was playing that watching a screen and I also don't think boredom is necessarly a bad thing, eventually they will find something to do!!

girliefriend · 04/05/2012 20:59

My dd is 6 yo and watches about 15mins before school and about an hour after school (normally between 5pm and 6pm when she is very tired and grumpy and starting to do my head in )

I would much rather she was playing that watching a screen and I also don't think boredom is necessarly a bad thing, eventually they will find something to do!!

perfectpins · 04/05/2012 21:02

None- only as a treat. Steiner education do not believe in tv...

BsshBossh · 04/05/2012 21:08

My DD is nearly 4. TV every day but she gets bored of it after 30 mins so basically she self-regulates on that. But she loves the iPad and would spend an hour+ a day on that if I let her so we restrict it to twice a week, generally the weekends, and no more than 30 minutes a day (weekends only).

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