Two year old won't speak to other children at daycare

[cloudyatlas]

DD is 25 months old. She started at long daycare around a month ago. She seems happy there but doesn't talk to the other children. Apparently she does play in a group, though whenever I've come to pick her up she always seems to be off contentedly doing her own thing.
At home she speaks well, loves having books read to her, sings and does all the usual stuff. She seems fairly bright. I don't think hearing is an issue. Nor do I think there is an issue with autism as she is empathic and affectionate.
I think she does have the desire to interact with other kids, but is just reserved (I was too, when I was little.) I don't have a problem with that. I would just like to help her learn to overcome her shyness so she can make friends. I wondered about getting one of the other kids over for a play date but it doesn't seem like she gravitates to anyone in particular.
I know she's only two and so I shouldn't worry too much. I just don't want this to become a pattern.
Any suggestions?

As you said, she is only 2. I really really wouldn't worry. My DD didn't really enjoy playdates either at that age - it was too overwhelming to have someone else invading her space at home.

Give it few more weeks and if you are still worried, maybe talk to the nursery staff. I bet they are very used to this situation

My DS is the same, at 2. It might be because of language (we live abroad) but I think he's also a bit shy, and apparently my DH was the same at this age.

DS has just this week started saying a few words, so you never know, she might start any day! The ladies at the creche say it's not that strange at all.

She's fine without being social for now - I'd say if she's happy don't rock the boat.

Sounds normal to me. My 2.4 y.o. has never made any attempt to communicate with another child (he is frightened of most of his peers though). But I have no concerns at all about social skills based on his relationships with close family adults.

Thanks everyone. @TanteRose- it was the (very experienced) nursery coordinator who brought it up. But I think she will probably sort herself out without any intervention from me.

agree with the others - she's too young to worry, point 1, and it sounds like she is fine, but just not confident with her peers, point 2. My dd is exactly the same - articulate, affectionate, chats away happily to people she knows well in environments where she feels secure. Only now is she starting to be a bit more confident with other children (other than her cousin, who she is fine with) - she won't go on anything at the playground if there's another child on it. She is very physically small for her age which doesn't help, and not very assertive, which doesn't help either. It's just what she's like - she is also generous and kind and (within 3 year old parameters) thoughtful and considerate of others. SO there are lots of upsides to the apparent downside...

My DD was exactly the same. She was a relatively late speaker (2) and joined nursery and would not speak in pre-school for the first two terms except to one . Now however, she has come out of her shell and talks non-stop.

She's quite little for that sort of social environment and this is very early days for her in nursery. If she feels a bit overwhelmed by the new environment then engaging in solitary play is a very good way to make it manageable for herself. It's much better that clinging to you screaming or lashing out like another child might do.

She also may well just be spending a little longer than usual at the stage of just enjoying playing alongside, rather than with, her peers.

The nursery staff are right to notice it but perhaps it is a little soon to mention in. They could possibly help her by giving her opportunities for one to one interaction with a supportive adult and perhaps when she's feeling a bit more confident introduce one other child to the mix. Have they said what they are doing to try to support her and make her feel more relaxed?

What they mustn't do is take away the activities she's engaging in alone or try to make her play with her peers. If they do that they will undermine her confidence and make her less able to talk and engage. I'm not saying I expect them to do this but I would be wary because I know one or two practitioners who do exactly that.

This is very unlikely to become a pattern if nobody makes an issue of it. I think a playdate is a good idea but don't expect a great deal from it. If she doesn't want to play with her friend accept her decision and provide activities they can do alongside each other.

I am sure she'll settle in soon and be chatting away and playing like her peers.

She's quite young, it will come soon.

Just remember that long daycare was not invented for the children, it was invented for the parents who needed to go back to work. I believe there is a reason why pre school starts at age 3, as this is the age when children are equipped mentally for this type of environment. 3 is roughly the age where children are much more sociable with other children, learning to play with rather than alongside. Up until then, however much it hurts and upsets us, the fact is, our children need and want us, their mums and dads and close relatives. As Timandra mentioned, this is obviously her way of dealing with a situation shes not comfortable with.

Its quite a change for a child being in daycare for 8 hours a day, look at it from her point of view.. shes now on her own with a bunch of strangers!!

Thats not to say she wont learn to adapt but it will take time, her own time.