Tooth brushing tantrums

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DS1 is nearly 2.5 and has gradually been getting worse at brushing his teeth - either doing it himself or letting me do it. It has got to the point where he just quickly sucks the toothpaste off, then hands the brush back.

I've tried singing songs, tickling, looking for Igglepiggle/chickens/monsters in there. As soon as he realises that I'm actually going to try to brush his teeth, he clamps down, snatches the brush and tantrums if I persist.

I decided last night to take a stand and treat it as naughty behaviour, so put him in the corner for 2 minute intervals. I have the most stubborn child in the world and of course it got me nowhere. After 40 minutes I needed to feed DS2 so just put DS1 in a headlock and got on with it. But it was like a physical fight and I felt awful, like I was assaulting him.

I have terrible teeth, partly down to parental neglect and am not prepared to go easy on this. But it's awful that I have to have a screaming match with him just before bed and have him sobbing when he's had a good day and in every other respect is good at bedtimes.

Any ideas?

Well you could do other things that will encourage healthy teeth. No sweets at all, no juice or squash (you could also tell him that if he doesn't brush his teeth these things will have to disappear, if you have them), eating an apple after supper.

Have you tried rewards? Would he understand marbles in a jar? (Every time his teeth are brushed properly he gets a marble in the jar and then a treat when it's full). Have you tried brushing your teeth with him? It might be an independence thing, in which case half the battle is teaching him to do it properly. Show him how you do yours and he might follow suit.

Thanks for the reply Octavia.

I like the idea of the rewards - I haven't ever tried that (in any context) so it is worth a go.

I have tried teaching him in front of the mirror, and doing my teeth at the same time. It worked like a dream on the first night but then descended into sucking the toothpaste off his brush, then grabbing mine and doing the same without any attempt at brushing.

I think he knows what to do but chooses not to. Grrr.

DS doesn't drink sweet drinks other than milk, but I guess I could remove the fruit/biscuits/nibbly things from his diet. The thing is that I'd then need to do something else for snacktimes which could prove tricky. Sigh.

I disagree with the apple after supper - apples are very sugary & high in acids which attack enamel so unfortunately you need to clean his teeth afterwards! I have the same trouble with DD4 who varies re accepting it! Show him the Peppa Pig episode where Peppa & George go to the dentist - it helped us, we just say "Go Ahhhhh like Peppa & George" & most days she lets us do it.

I'm the same. My daughter is only one but I'm keen to get into good habits. She goes mental if I try doing it (which is what the health nurse suggested) so instead I'm going with the brushing-our-teeth-is-fun approach, where we brush at the same time.

But that isn't working brilliantly either! Like your son, she sucks the toothpaste off her brush then tries to grab mine. Hmmm.

Having re-read your post, I'm interested by you saying that 'you're not prepared to go easy on this'. It sounds like it is becoming a bit of an issue for you and causing stress.

I agree that having nice teeth is really important but perhaps backing off, using rewards and letting your child 'grow into it' might help? It might be a phase, and perhaps your child can sense your anxiety?

Perhaps for the time being, just sucking off the toothpaste is okay - and you can introduce rewards for good brushing in a week, once things have calmed down?

The screaming/crying really really won't help - your child will develop bad associations with the whole thing.

i had this problem with my stubborn dd, i persevered, got an electric toothbrush, and now at 4.5 she's absolutely fine with teeth brushing. he just has to learn it's a non negotiable part of the bedtime routine, even if he just sucks the toothpaste for now. make sure he also sees you and others in family doing it, lots of excitement & praise for his 'lovely fresh smelling' mouth...it's just another control thing, once they realise there's no budging on it they'll give in ...and you can both move on to the next battle!!

My DD is 17 mths now and up until recently we only brushed her teeth once a day, which happend to be while she was in the bath before bedtime. She was never very happy to let us brush her teeth or to do it herself...which also resulted in sucking the toothpaste off and dropping the toothbrush in the bathwater!
We decided it was time to change tactics so we got her a step stool so that she could stand on that at the bathroom sink...and it has worked a treat!
She now happily stands on the step stool holding onto the sink while allowing us to brush her teeth then she has a quick go herself.
She also loves having it done so much she asks to clean her teeth and has them cleaned at least twice a day!
We make sure she has it done after breakfast in the mornings, and before she gets in the bath at bedtime.
Thought i would share with you as this may help your son too!
Good luck!

Agree with the peppa pig idea; since my 3 year old saw how George brushed his teeth he's been putting loads of effort in!

Both of mine have also improved since we've been visiting the dentist.

Peppa Pig rules lol

My ds was exactly the same until he was about 2 and a half or 3 (it was such a big deal at the time and now, of course, I can't remember how old he was!). It became a horrendous battle. In the end we abandoned any attempt to brush his teeth for a week, to let the whole thing become less charged, but talked about teeth etc. on and off during that time. We all went back to it a bit calmer, which helped a lot. At 5.5 he brushes in the morning, happily lets us brush in the evening, and I can barely believe we used to have to hold him down. My 2.5 dd started beautifully but went off the whole idea. As suggested by a friend, we've taken to singing "xx on the bus, he/she brushes her teeth... (whoever she's played with/talked about today) and tonight we got through 4 different people before I got bored..! HTH.

Two things worked well for us-

1. Letting her brush our teeth, and then taking it in turns to brush hers
2. Playing 'dentists', complete with anglepoise lamp in the eyes

We have found it goes in fits and starts. Things that have worked for us (and then stopped working..)

looking for animals
pretending to brush away todays dinner (whilst describing - oh there goes the chicken etc)
stickers
electric toothbrush
fancy toothbrush/toothpaste combos
competitions (who can brush the loudest?)
Me closing my eyes then 'trying to guess who I can hear brushing - name random children from nursery/relatives - hilarious fun
brute force

There is a little part of me that thanks god they're milk teeth and will go eventually.

My ds did this too. He absolutely refused, to let us brush his teeth and used to kick up a massive fuss. I was adament he would have his teeth cleaned and would have to hold him still to get them clean. It was awful, but I would, rather that than him ending up with bad teeth. He soon got over it, and always brushes his teeth nicely now.