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Help please!

3 replies

munchkinmousey · 01/05/2012 13:39

This is my first post after being a long time lurker!
Sorry if it is a bit rambly, I seem to have quite a few issues with my 16 month old DD ? some may be related others may not I ?ve no idea really!
Firstly she is an incredibly picky eater, she literally refuses ANY fruit or veg, I used to be able to hide veg in mash and things but lately she even refuses this and pretty much survives off yogurts and sandwiches (even then not eaten with any real enjoyment) alone ? these are the only things she will eat happily everything else is a massive exercise in coercion using singing and distraction techniques which work for three mouthfuls tops. I read that you should carry on offering foods and eventually she will try them but this has been going on since around 10 months and has only got worse. If I don?t give her a sandwich or yogurt she will eat nothing ? well maybe a few mouthfuls and then wake up crying for a bottle in the night.
Secondly (and possibly completely unrelated) she has been sick four times this week, just projectile vomited at random times of the day, seems completely fine otherwise, very happy.. no idea what this is about and unsure if to take her to the docs as she just seems so well in general I think he?ll think I?m mad!
Thirdly her sleeping is getting progressively worse, she seems to get literally hysterical in the night if she wakes and is only calmed once in my bed, I have been allowing her to sleep with me when she wakes the past few nights as if she is poorly I don?t want her to be upset as well but really she doesn?t seem unwell and I?m worried I?m only making the problem worse!
Fourthly she is VERY wary of strangers, having her feet measured resulted in a complete meltdown the other day and she wont look at anyone when they talk to her but instead will hide behind me. She has also started getting very upset if I even leave the room and I?m not sure what to do the best ? reassuring cuddles or just carry on and let her get on with it ? she often doesn?t calm herself and will be beside herself past the point of self calming within a few minutes.
Fifthly (and finally!) She is not at all keen on her dad ? who is her main carer, cries when she sees him in the mornings (sometimes accompanied by clinging to me for dear life!) and doesn?t seem at all bothered if she has not seen him for a day or two! Apparently she is fine with him when I?m not there though!

Thanks for reading anyone who has got this far and any tips or advice greatly appreciated, she is my PFB and I thought we were doing rather well but all written down it does look like a lot of problems and I?m worried it?s all falling apart at the seams! :(

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
IWillOnlyEatBeans · 01/05/2012 13:54

All you can do with her eating is to keep offering her a range of food and giving her the opportunity to eat them if she wants. DS ate a very limited diet between the ages of 12 and 18 months, but gradually expanded his retertoire and will now eat a good variety of things. I would probably give a sandwich for one meal per day (tea/supper) and try out new things at lunchtime. It's frustrating and soul destroying and worrying, but you can't make her eat - just keep remembering that!

I have no idea about the vomiting, but would definitely take her to the GP. Could she have some kind of food intolerance? If her tummy is feeling all churny then she wont want to eat, which will be making the fussiness worse.

We had to get tough on DS's sleeping at around 16 months as he wanted to sleep with either me or DP all the time. A couple of nights of sleep training did the trick for us, but I kow it's not everyone's cup of tea. It sounds like part of the separation anxiety issues you mention below.

Stranger anxiety totally normal imo. DS still a bit like this at 2.3, although lots better than he was a year ago. Will now get feet measured without a meltdown, but hair cutting is a different matter :)

I can't offer much advice on the separation anxiety, as my DS is quite extreme in this regard (although he has got better, but only marginally!) Lots of cuddles and reassurance is generally the way forward I think...

I think favouring one carer is also pretty standard stuff. DS has always been a mummies boy, but my friends' children all go through mummy/daddy phases where the other parent is routinely rejected for a few weeks before coming back into favour!

Welcome to the wonderful and stressful toddler years! :)

munchkinmousey · 01/05/2012 14:06

Thank you so much for replying!

Have called the GP for an appointment re:vomitting.

Think I'll have to bite the bullet and get on with sleep training (once I'm sure she's 100% well!)

There just seems to be so much to worry about all of sudden and there's no one to tell you if you're doing it right!

OP posts:
IWillOnlyEatBeans · 01/05/2012 14:19

I know what you mean! My DS always seems to have the 'opposite' issues to those addressed by standard toddler books, so it's difficult to know what to do with a lot of his behaviour!

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