4 year old girl conscious of her weight

[SweetLikeChocolate]

My 4 year old DD has on several occasions made reference to her weight and has said that she wants to be thin like her older sister and doesn't want to eat. She is a totally normal child and has no reason to be concerned about her very normal, average weight. I am particularly slim but her nanny (everyday caregiver) is on the larger side so I was of the impression that she had been exposed to a variety of sizes and am surprised that she has brought up this subject so young. I make a concerted effort not to pass on my own food issues to my children and they have a balanced, kid friendly diet with treats when they eat their healthy foods. I don't generally eat with my kids so I don't think my daughter has an awareness of what I do or don't eat. Obviously I am concerned. I don't want my child to have issues with food but maybe I am panicking for no reason and she is going through a normal phase. I simply don't remember food being on my radar at 4 years old.

don,t think your daughter hasen,t an awareness of what your eating patterns are like they pick up on it. and are veryaware. why don,t you eat with your daughter it,s inportant to eat with them. make sure she know what a good healthy balance diet is. and eat in moderation. i,m sure you allready know this.

My dd started to mention it at a similar age. She overheard other girls at ballet referring to flat stomachs as a good thing and decided that beautiful = thin. It's not surprising really since she was playing with Barbies and Disney Princesses and they are definitely slim. Is it possible that she has overheard her older sister say something about slimness and beauty and taken it to heart? It's easy to say something innocent about a celebrity's figure or decline a piece of cake the "wrong" way eg "I shouldn't eat that". Children are being bombarded by images of famous people all the time. I doubt that my 5 year old could name a non-skinny celebrity woman. (The ones he's know were people like Amanda Holden, Cheryl Cole, Alisha Dixon) Interestingly, he'd know more "normally" shaped male celebs like Jeremy Clarkson, Simon Cowell and David Cameron but that's TV for you.

Afterwards she started focusing on pretending to be in a shampoo ad and flicking her hair- "Cos I'm worth it!" which is better I suppose but proves how much she has been brainwashed by media and advertising.

mmm, I don't know, I have anorexia and my older daughter started fussing about her weight and picking at food at age 5. I thought that there was no way that she could know anything about my problems but either a) she does or b) there may be some kind of genetic link.

She is now 9, definitely underweight and under review by CAMHS

I don't think you're overreacting, your daughter's reactions do sound worrying. I don't really know what to suggest though, having failed so dramatically myself! She obviously needs lots of self esteem boosting and positive role modelling if you can.

I am particularly slim but her nanny (everyday caregiver) is on the larger side I don't generally eat with my kids
Those two quotes stand out to me sweetLC
I'm assuming your DD sees nanny eat during the course of the day but she doesn't often see her 'slim' mum eating? If that's right I think it may be a good idea to begin to share regular, healthy meals with your DD.
Do as I say, not as I do rarely works IME