Is this in ANY way normal? ?self harm?

[dreamteamgirl]

Havent been here for ages, but my 7 year old has me very worried tonight

In short, I took him up to bed and his room was trashed. No big deal, I decided not to even mention it, and we would clear up whilst he got into his pjs
However as I started to pick up I saw that his brand new Lego was smashed to pieces having been crashed into each other and was destroyed.
I was REALLY irritated having spent bloody hours building the damn thing and shouted at him, that he was bloody careless and didnt deserve nice things if he wasnt going to look after them...

His reaction was really extreme. He was crying which I guess is normal but when I looked closer he was pulling his own hair really hard in big clumps and then said 'I am just a big fat rubbish, rubbish boy' :(
I was really shocked, and just soothed him saying 'Dont be silly ' (I know, I know terrible use of words!!) 'No you arent; you are just a bit careless and need to be more sensible'

This has come on the back of over hearing him praying that he could be less clumsy and more able to do things, and feels like an escalation of something he has done for a while of destroying something of his own if he has done something wrong- like ripping up his own picture if told off for pushing that kind of thing...

I am hoping this is some how normal for a 7 year old boy, but I am very worried that it isnt ...
Does anyone have any experience or advice please?

I would be sitting him down when you are both calm and having a chat about what happened. This isn't normal and his reaction would make me wonder where he is hearing stuff about being fat and rubbish. Is he being bullied perhaps?

Thanks for replying

There has been a child who has bullied him- one of his other prayers was for the End of Days to come and this child be cast into hell (he is going through a stage of wanting to read bible stories and go to church a lot! He likes all the hellfire and damnation LOL) and I have brought it up with the school twice. The last time just yesterday and they have promised to look into it. The first they did seem to take some action but 2 weeks later his teacher left and I think it got forgotten.

He is definitely lacking in self confidence of late...

I know a little boy who went through similar its 'trichotilomania' his body feels stressed (7 is a tricky age) pulling his hair releases hormone that makes him feel 'better' its like scratching an itch,its not a good solution but a hard habit to break.......your Gp might be able to help but looking at whats worrying him and working through it will definitely help.

Without diminishing the fear that you feel when confronted by your child's actions, I really feel you need to stop panicking. My own child comes out with some corkers about self-loathing, anger etc. and my immediate reaction is of horror swiftly followed by, 'what's wrong with my child he shouldn't speak of such "heavy" stuff". But then I think of what he has heard in the playground (he is 5 but there are kids of 11 playing), what he has caught on the TV (Tracey Beaker, MI High etc.) They don't need to be religiously watching programmes, they can just watch 5 minutes and notice that SOME children speak like that to their parents and get a reaction.

I think the big thing to remember about this stuff is YOUR REACTION. If you freak or look unnecessarily worried that will magnify things for them. He might be worried about stuff but you need to maintain a calm, sympathetic demeanour and then try and probe a bit about what might be worrying him. Try not to be overwhelmed by his reactions just be responsive to the fact that he is obviously wound up and try and help him deal with it. I am the world's biggest hypoccrite here because I would be so worried too - but I guess I am trying to heed my own advice!

I hear a lot of worry in your post and it's hard not to project this back onto the situations you are confronted with. Treat it seriously but don't take his words too literally.

Good luck and let us know how you get on

Also you might be inadvertently applying a little bit of pressure about him "being clumsy". Remember he's only 7. How can he understand YOUR frustration at him breaking apart (the break-apartable) lego that YOU spent hours building. Just how frustrated and angry were you about the situation? And just how sympathetic and in-tune is your little boy to your feelings?