Bad ears and bad behaviour!

[Maccapaccawacca]

DS is 16 months. Has ongoing ear problems - glue ear, fluctuating degrees of hearing loss and recurrent ear infections. Currently awaiting 2nd ENT review prior to surgery (appointment is a fortnight away)

This week he's had ear infections both sides and has burst his ear dum, affecting his balance. Been quite unwell.

Anyway, he's much perkier over the past few days, eating & sleeping better etc. The question is this......his behaviour over the past few months is getting worse and worse. Mainly tantrums (throwing self onto floor, trembling with the rage, screaming, hitting) over things he wants that he can't have....normally biscuits, things he could kill himself with (boiling water, knives etc etc)

I am wondering how much slack I should give him because of his ear problems? I feel so sorry for him, and wonder all the time if he's in constant pain, but, in the same breath don't want him to have everything his own way and eat 50 biscuits a day

I really appreciate that it must be an awful thing not to hear properly, when life is already frustrating enough but i'm just not sure what to do for the best? There are some days when i think his ears have been fine, and he plays up so I don't know if i'm being too leniant.

AGH

Hi macca, poor boy and poor you. Been in the same boat but luckily my ds seems to be getting better. I've always used the infection as a reason for the poor behaviour but not an excuse so I've punished him etc exactly as I do when he's well. I tell him I know it's frustrating but it's no excuse. It makes for a dreadful two weeks etc till it heals where I think he'll never leave the naughty step but when he is well he is an extremely well behaved little boy. Also think it sends mixed signals if I relax things. I do try and avoid situations that are likely to set him off at that time, so I don't take him to the supermarket then, and try and do activities he enjoys to take his mind off it.
Only one opinion and not saying its right just what works for us. On a plus point last winter was terrible, but this winter has been better , only one infection a month,and I'm hopeful next will be better still. They do seem to grow out of them as they get older. We're still waiting for a date of our op! Ds is 2.5 starting to think I might leave it and see if he grows out of it.

Thank you for your reply. Strangely reassuring to not be alone. So difficult to know what to do for the best, especially when i'm not sure how much of the 'discipline' he is actually hearing in the first place!
Really hope your DS grows out of it quickly, heartbreaking.