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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Time to get rid of a dummy/soother-15wk old?

13 replies

Camelbak · 27/04/2012 13:12

DD2 calms down incredibly well with a dummy and uses it to go to sleep which makes life easy for me. However, she wakes 3 times each night and I wonder is it because the dummy has fallen out and she can't self soothe without it? She's fed once at 0300 (though I don't think she's hungry but that's another story). The other two times she wakes, I put the dummy back in and stroke her head and she falls back to sleep within minutes.
Should I leave well alone and let her continue or should I start removing it now and have her cry herself to sleep (I suppose)?
DS1 refused to use one and eventually stopped crying at bedtime when he was 4 months old. Although it was tough going until that point, he never needs us to go to him in the night now and is 18m. I'd appreciate your views!

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habbibu · 27/04/2012 13:16

At 15 weeks I'd leave well alone - if it gets her back to sleep quickly it's a winner, I think.

Original poster

Camelbak · 27/04/2012 13:23

Thanks habbibu, it's very tempting not to intervene. I guess I don't want problems on my hands that are harder to solve further down the line. They say habits are set at 3 months.

OP posts:

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 27/04/2012 13:27

Maybe they are, but if you only use the dummy for sleeping, does it matter? My 2.3yo still has her dummy for sleeping and it's great - really helps her relax and drop off. She NEVER has it at any other time, so I really don't think it matters.

I will get rid of it at about 3 - when I can do the whole dummy fairy thing.

But for a little baby, I think anything that helps, go with it, and just keep an eye on how often they have it as they get older.

habbibu · 27/04/2012 14:39

Meh. Mine were still pooing in nappies and breastfeeding at 3 months. I broke them in the end!

lobsters · 28/04/2012 22:35

Just go with it, we got rid of the dummy easily just before DD was 2, with the help of the dummy fairy, and it had been for sleeping only for a long time before that

Buglove · 28/04/2012 22:49

Leave it I tried in vain to get my lo to take one as he would spend all evening comfort sucking. Now he is an age where we would like to get rid and he's done it himself. Now only has one when tired or upset. And sometimes just in bed. I think leave it until they give it up themselves or are old enough to reason with, dummy fairy etc

ppeatfruit · 29/04/2012 09:57

I've never heard that one "habits are set by 3 months" and in my experience ;3dcs, 8 mindees (not all at once!) and am an ex nursery and infant teacher it's a load of old boxxocks!! Go with the flow I'd say and don't stress about other people's weird views

Doitnicelyplease · 29/04/2012 20:21

Another side here, we did remove DD's dummy cold turkey at 4 months, she was waking up 8/9 times a night for it so causing more problems than solving. She adjusted really quick it was a couple of nights of rocking, sushing to sleep and then she started to sleep properly though the night (with dream feed).

The odd time I wished we had it during the day after that, but we managed fine with out it, she never sucked thumb or fingers though so maybe not a really sucky baby.

Busybee100 · 29/04/2012 22:19

Having the same problem with my daughter right now but with getting her to sleep too! She gets histerical looking for the dummy to go I sleep and as soon as she gets it it's out again an she is going wild. And during the night she screams for it. Don't think I'd get her to sleep with out t though! It's so hard!!

BrianButterfield · 29/04/2012 22:25

Leave it - DS was a complete dummy addict when he was little, could never settle to sleep without it, needed it to calm himself down in the day - and I despaired of there being a time when I could go out without half a dozen dummies in various pockets of my changing bag! He's 8.5 months old now though and a few weeks ago I noticed he was settling to naps without it and then started spitting it out at bedtime. It's been a week now and he's apparently given it up all on his own, which has amazed me! Was a waste of time stressing out thinking he'd be in Reception with a dummy pinned to his school top...

cakehappy · 29/04/2012 22:38

I'm afraid I'm in the "get rid of it" camp. I just went through it all with my DS, at 4 months he was waking 3-7 times a night because the dummy would drop out and when he came out of a sleep cycle he would wake up and need it to get back to sleep. I finally binned them all and 4 nights later, he started sleeping through. He started sucking his thumb instead though, so that may be something to consider but to be honest, I was just relieved to get some sleep.

laura4jasmine · 30/04/2012 08:29

I had a similar situation as cakehappy. At 4mths my ds2 was waking 10/15 times a night looking for dummy. After a week I read The Baby Whisperer and thought I'm so tired I might as well try something different since it can't get worse. I put ds2 to bed awake with no dummy and he went to sleep with very little complaint and has slept all night every night since! He too, started sucking his thumb at 6mths and there's no 'thumb fairy'.

ppeatfruit · 30/04/2012 10:47

BTW my 3 never had dummies (i do admit to hating the things) 2 sucked their thumbs and one never sucked anything and strangely he was the only one who needed orthodontics!!

I also never went cold turkey on anything with them IMO I wouldn't like my cup of coffee or glass of wine removed forcibly I don't see why DC's are any different from us.

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