PLEASE HELP - desperate over new baby screaming in pushchair

[HardCheese]

This is my first post in this forum - my first baby is three weeks and two days old, and I'm not able to leave the house and am going slightly mad as a result. He's generally a smiley, easygoing little creature, though very alert, big and strong for his age, but he simply screams and screams almost every time I try to take him anywhere in his pushchair. Not necessarily when he's first put in, though that too, but within a hundred yards or of leaving the flat.

It's a Bugaboo Bee, and he's reclined in a cocoon. Straps aren't too tight, he's well protected from the elements, it doesn't seem to matter whether the rain canopy is on or not to whether he screams. And it's not just grizzling, it's real hysterical distress - to the point where I cried today in the park, too, he was so distressed and sobbing so hard. I stayed out for almost an hour, intermittently taking him out to calm him, hoping he would get used to it, but we've been home for nearly two hours, and he's only just calm enough to doze off now.

Has anyone else a baby who did this, and what did you do? - any advice very welcome, as I feel like I'm going crazy from isolation, and it's a time when I really need to get out of the house even for a short period every day, now that my partner is back at work.

Thanks to anyone who can help.

If the weather is rubbish do your coat up around the baby in the sling. I used to use my dh's snowboarding jacket, very cosy.

DD hated the buggy too, but she did have reflux...

One thing that seemed to help her adjust to it was a lambskin liner. Used the lambskin from day 1 with DS (now 9w) and he actually giggles when placed in the pram! He seems less keen on the sling, which DD loved.

Anyway, you could try a lambskin. It may be throwing good money after bad or it may just make a very expensive purchase usable after all. Worth a go.

The Beco Gemini carrier is great as it has the comfort of a soft carrier but the security of clips and easy no way to get it wrong tightening, plus its one of the only soft ones that goes forward facing when the baby is ready.
Could it be your baby gets reflux in the pushchair or do they get motion sick eg. ground rush etc. Separation anxiety if they can't see you face to face/ feel you next to them....

PM me if you're in Manchester, there's a sling meet here where you can try new ones/get help. In fact google slingmeet UK & you find a forum with various local meet ups (on phone so can't link for you).

My first was like this, hated the pram. She was okay with it at 12 months! My second doesn't mind the pram but I often carry her anyway - first in a Moby & now in an Ergo. I agree with putting them inside your coat (or your dp's coat might fit better!) unless you will e feeding on a park bench/outside in which case they need their own coat...

I really struggled with wrap slings, hated moby which just felt way too complicated with yards and yards of fabric to contend with. Have a mei tai Asian style sling now which is great. So easy to use. There is s good selection on eBay. Bought mine for £19.99 from a seller called daisy baby shop. They are very pretty, comfy and easy to use. Colicky 6 week old DD loves it.

I could have written your post word-for-word two years ago,so I know exactly how you feel. I remember having to take my DD out of the pram every few minutes to comfort her and phoning my partner in tears from a park. She hated the pushchair, so I bought another one - a Bugaboo Bee coincidentally. She hated that too. She cried hysterically everywhere, whether it was moving or still. I could only leave the house if I put her in the pushchair asleep and then I would pray that she would stay asleep so I could get some air and leave the house. I would meet the friends from my antenatal class and their babies would be happy and contented in there pushchairs and so I came to the conclusion that it was something I was doing wrong, something I could do to "cure" her. She didn't like the pushchair until she was about a year old. I also had a close carrier and didn't feel confident enough to use it outdoors.
It took me so long to realise, that I wasn't doing anything wrong, there was nothing "wrong" with DD and I couldn't cure the problem. She just didn't like it, wanted to be close to me and that was the most natural thing in the world. I couldn't have been doing anything wrong, because all she wanted is to be near me. If I have a second child, then I would put them straight in sling without any worries or beating myself up about it. My two year old will happily sit in the pushchair now and is the most affectionate, tactile, cuddly little tot, and maybe that's the way she was as a baby - she just needed constant contact.
Three weeks into Motherhood is tough and your life has changed so much. You're doing really well, don't be too hard on yourself - it's a tough but wonderful role.
p.s I still look at Mothers out with their little babies lying contentedly in their prams, some of them even shopping in central London and I think, how the HELL have they done that! :)

Thanks everyone - happy to report that we took our little handful to a local cafe this morning in his sling, and other than a bit of grizzling on the way home, it was a much calmer outing than anything managed in his pushchair. Though he has had occasionally perfectly placid periods in it....

Stranger and Seventh - thanks for the sling tips, which were great. Rilla, I'm in London, but thanks - will search for local sling things. The main challenge this morning - other than getting into the bugger, which I know will come with practice (and I watched and rewatched some Youtube clips), was that when he was awake and his head was properly held in the sling fabric, he got a bit frustrated because he couldn't see anything.

Wingding, I'll certainly consider a sheepskin - are they one size fits all, or do I need to make sure I get one to fit a Bugaboo Bee?

Nintom - what a lovely post - thank you.

Also, on the issue of when my baby might become more reconciled to his pushchair in the future - and excuse the ignorance, this is my first baby! - at what age does one typically start to be able to let a baby sit up in a pushchair?

ah, if you are in London there will be meets galore, all those nappy valleys to choose from!

It all gets much easier - he is still so new

My second baby HATES the pram. He lives in the baby Bjorne. He screams blue murder until I get him out of the pram so I know how you feel! I tend to take pram in case of bad weather and take sling also. Hoping when he can sit up in a few months things will improve.

But you can't help fussing and checking straps etc etc we do this because we care. Practise with the sling in the house, then out in the garden, then a trip to the postbox or something. It all takes time to get your confidence up and that goes for everyone so don't beat yourself up :)

They are meant to lie-flat until around 6 months. Both of mine have wanted to sit up and see more from about 15/16 weeks iirc.

Sling. If you have a big enough raincoat it will go round both you and the baby, though you'll still need an umbrella to keep the drips off his head!

Yes yes ! My dd wouldn't go in her pram till she was 6/7 weeks so she was in the sling all the time till then.

It will pass and he will be happy in his pram soon - a two month old is so different to a three week old. Just follow his lead for now and do what seems to keep him happy.

Sounds quite normal to me! I spent much of the early days pushing a lovely pram with a little baby peeping over my shoulder... neighbours used to laugh about me pushing an empty pram all the time! Slowly got used to it and loves it now, 12 months on. Enjoy the little cuddles!

I tried briefly to use the pram when my caesarean wound reopened and the sling was exacerbating the problem (had a school run to do). I just ended up pushing an empty pram and carrying ds anyway.

DS is nearly 8 months old now and will scream if you even look at a pushchair. He lives in his sling (we have several) and in the rain I just wear dh's enormous ski coat over the top of both of us with a brolly. He's old enough to go on my back now too and he's perfectly content as long as he's touching me at all times.

BOTH of mine have been like this :-( same in the car seat too. DS1 was very alert and never liked being restricted but did grow out of it when he was about 12-18 months bu by then he could walk so we didn't need it so much but it helped with trips in the car when he finally stopped screaming in there. DS2 is only 4 months but was exactly the same but actually has eased up a bit. As ,ong as the pushchair is moving and he's not tired he will tolerate it (usually!!) but the second he is tired in there he sobs :-( Seems to be slightl,y easier than with DS1 though who just haed it the whole time! It does get better. I still stare in amazement when I see care free mums pull up at a table in a cafe and drink a coffee etc while the baby sits cooing happily :-O

Ohh forgot to offer any advice! With DS2 I relied upon a sling for the first couple of months. DS1 even hated being restricted in a sling so I just carried him everywhere and pretty much became a recluse . He was very high maintenance in general though so the first year I just stayed at home and rocked in a dark room .

My DS also hated the pushchair until he was about 6 months old. We could barely use the car till we tried facing him forward at 9 months as he always hated it. Even now at 20 months he would rather walk several miles than sit in his pushchair.

Slings are brilliant. I'm only sorry my son is so big that he grew out of his relatively quickly and at 9 months it was impossible to carry him that way any more (I'm tiny and had to see an osteopath for ages!). I moved between a Moby wrap and a Baby Bjorn depending on whether I needed a softer or more rigid carrier for the occasion.

I never liked slings, they never felt safe enough. I used a baby bjorn - which you're more than welcome to have as we've three children and that's enough. If you do want it pm me and I'll post it t you x

Hi hardcheese just seen your thread!

My DS (now 2) was an awful pram resister when young - I spent many unhappy hours traipsing around finsbury park, breastfeeding (in agony ) on benches etc, trying to get him to not scream, let alone sleep, in his pram. It was terrible, so you have my sympathies (and in this weather too!). I finally started using the sling (also a Close) when he was about 4 weeks and it was much better. I found it also brilliant for naps at home, and it meant I could then just stick a coat over it and head out whenever I needed. Though I also had an EMCS with him and he was at least 6 weeks before I was really comfy carrying him on decent walks. We switched to an Ergo when he was about 4 months, as the Close was way too baggy feeling by then.

The next sling meet in Finsbury Park is on 27 May - see here. This time around with DD (5 weeks tomorrow) I'm loving my Ergo with the newborn insert which I borrowed from a friend. I find it more comfy than the Close, and with better support. This time, I've not even tried to get DD into the pram and we're just using the sling all the time (she's currently asleep in the sling on DH as I type!).

In terms of sitting them up in a buggy, we switched from the Mountain Buggy pram (which I hated by then! Too many bad memories!) to a maclaren at 4-5 months, as DS was sitting unsupported at 4.5 months so he had the head control and general strength by then. He was by then very happy in his buggy, had most of his naps in it for a long time (til about 11 months, when we switched to the cot).

Same situation here, and once I switched to the sling things went so much better! DD is 7w now and also likes to see what is going on. You can support their head for them (one handed) until they have had enough and want to lay back against you again. It works for us, anyway.

Hi Flip! Much consoled as ever to hear of someone else having baby-related agonies in FP - I sat the other day in that little shelter by the sports area and was nearly in tears because my baby was so distressed from being in his pushchair. I did just make contact with the FP slingmeet people, but as you say, unfortunately we just missed one.

The sling definitely produces less anguish than the pushchair, but I can't decide whether I'm not using the Close right (despite endlessly watching the video and following the instructions to the letter), or whether it's not the best choice of sling for a very strong, active four week old who likes to look around - he goes mad if I try to support his head with a strap, and generally (despite the fact that I dress him lightly when we go out in the sling) feels sweaty and struggling, and is wriggling away from having his face pressed against my upper chest.

An Ergo might be a better idea, but they're pretty expensive...

Viking, which sling do you use? My baby seems to prefer leaning back away from me when in his sling, but this feels all unbalanced and unsafe, and I find I have to keep both hands supporting his back and bottom...

Is there a sling section on Mn?

The Ergo is pretty expensive, OP, & other people will tell you they love their Mei Tai (available much more cheaply) just as much. I will tell you that I bought an Ergo when DD1 was 4 months old & it has probably been used pretty much every day since then - she is nearly 4 now. (it went to live with a friend in between dd1 & dd2!). The sling section is here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/slings_and_backpacks_chat

There are so many slings out there - do not feel tied (ha!) to the one you have, and remember the greatest choice is online.

I LOVE the Tricotti - perfect for the cackhanded. The jersey stretches after a long use, so just wash and tumble to tighten it up again. My husband likes the Kari-Me, and my second fave is the Mei Tai. Finances permitting, try as many as you like/need, you can always sell them on.