no invite for 'best friend's' party :(

[3duracellbunnies]

Dd2 (yr 2) hasn't been given an invite for the girl she sees as her best friend. She hasn't realised yet, a few weeks ago she said that child x was inviting her to her party, and was all excited, it also won't escape her notice that she has had her birthday. Today they came running out of class together and played for a bit. They go to an out of school activiity, and we often share lifts etc. I asked dd1 who she played with today, and she said child x. I asked her if she still played with her as much dd1 said 'oh yes, everyday, sometimes we just play together, sometimes we involve others in our game.

They have been good friends for 2yrs now, but there was another party I was aware of that dd1 wasn't invited to, but I thought maybe it was more of a family party. I get on fine with the mother, not best friends, in that we don't socialise with her outside of school, but we always chat when we meet up. I just don't know what to do or say to dd, do I warn her that maybe this party won't happen. I just feel :( .

Dd1 is generally a fairly easy going child, whenever she has been at child x or other houses parents have said how polite she is etc. I realise, before anyone points it out that child x is entiltled to invite who she wants, and maybe she doesn't see dd1 as such a good friend as dd1 regards her, but how do I let her down gently? It's a tough week for us already, but I don't know if better to say something now, than dd finds out at school. She can get quite upset and is quite sensitve underneath a happy exterior.

Leave out the last bit and insert something like "assuming dd is invited, I know how it is"

Agree with Random, leave out last line.

DS kept insisting he was invited to a party (from a boy who he informed me only this morning now considers him as BF; at that news!). Since I had seen invites go out weeks before I was sure DS had it wrong, not invited. DS insisted that his friend just needed to get hold of invites, but I thought that was fobbing off. I agonised over it all at the time, esp. as I would have to arrange a lift on the day if DS was invited (DS knew every detail, time, venue, etc.!).

I said nothing to the family, could not think how to, although we are on chit-chat terms (other mother gave DS lifts sometimes).
DS finally got his invite 3 days before the event.
I think other mother is so laid back that it's surprising she doesn't just fall asleep on her feet.

I guess my other concern is that it happened before with the party towards the end of last year, as I say, that could have just been a family party, but another of dd's friend's mothers, knowing how close child x and dd are said about the party, but again there was no invite for dd or no questionning about why we didn't RSVP. I realise that this makes it less likely that dd was invited to her birthday, but the difference is this time that a) child x has already 'invited her', b) it will be very clear to dd when child x's party is due to sweets after class etc.

Also I sort of feel that if dd is putting all her emotional investment into a friendship then if she is for some reason being excluded then she has a right to know why, maybe they can only invite 2 or 3, if so then fine, I will have to explain it to her, she realises that numbers can be limited. Not sure whether to talk to dd about it, get her to talk with child x, or just talk to parent, it's more complicated as parent works with dd2, but I don't think it would spill over. Still feeliing sad and uncomfortable about contacting mother.

Maybe as you say ragged invite is on its way, but I am worried it isn't.

Phew, phew phew! Dd1 asked at bedtime (probably after my not so subtle questioning earlier) if she can go to child x's party. I then started into a very sensitive discussion of 'oh well we will have to see if you are given an invitation etc, etc. She then says 'but she gave me an invitation on Monday, I put it in my bag, well I think I did.' have txted child x mother for details. Of course the vital information which i omitted from my original post was that dd1 is one of the most scatty girls in the class, every day I have to send her back in because she has forgotten her boots, coat, lunch bag, water bottle, hand in homework (even when I remind her at school gate and she only has to remember for 5 mins and put in box when the rest of class are); but that's another post! Hope she didn't put it in some other poor kid's bookbag who wasn't invited...

Now I just need to negotiate with godparents about coming down a bit later so she can go to party, dh not happy, but she is her best friend after all!

Yay!

You did omit vital information there OP. 'My daughter is scatty' was sort of crucial to the case. Glad it is sorted though. Party invites, just one of the many minefields of motherhood.

If DH is being difficult tell him the clown they booked has cancelled but you said 'no prob, my DD's lovely daddy will step in.'

That's great news. Read your thread earlier and felt so sad for your DD. I have a DD around the same age.

Her scattiness I thought had only extended to lost property and homework, which I assume are not top of every 7yr old's must do list (although our 5yr old usually manages!). Will have to keep a closer eye on her, at least we found out before I embarrassed myself, though still no reply re timings. All that remains is to wonder where it got to, and whether it is having a party with the other invite last year, ho hum. Dh would make an excellent, if somewhat scatty clown!! Thanks for all your support!