Insecurity starting pre-school and clutching random objects.

[Ihatefishing]

My son is 3 in a couple of months and started pre-school in the Autumn and has still not settled. He goes in with no problem and lets me go but gets distressed after an hour or so, (the session is 3 hours).

He is very dependent on a security / comfort item which changes almost daily and can be anything from a piece of junk mail to a small toy. The random object really is totally random but he has to have it on him at all times.

Today I had to collect him early from pre-school as he had been crying for over an hour and I managed to work out that he had lost today's object and when I found it he was much better.

I don't know what to do about getting him settled into pre-school. He has been going for several months now and has still to complete a session without crying, (he is now doing 3 mornings a week). The staff have been helpful and know about the random object but he is still getting upset.

Has anyone else had similar issues? I can't think what else to do now.

I worked in an ante-preschool setting for 5 years and have dealt with a variety of settling problems with children. It is perfectly normal for children of his age to have problems settling and try not to worry about what will happen when he goes to pre school, at this age they develop quickly and something which is a huge worry for you today may be completely resolved by then. I would hope that the staff have discussed the situation with you and have tried a variety stratagies to help him settle? Without knowing your son it's hard to give you a definitive answer.
If you're not doing it already I would chat to him, in as relaxed a manner as possible, to him about the setting, (what he does, who his friends are, what he enjoys, doesnt enjoy etc, ) this may give you a clue as to what is going wrong or what his worrys are. It may be that there is a simple trigger for his anxiety which can be easily resolved.
If he is anxious about being apart from you you could try collecting him before he gets to the point where he is upset. This would reassure him that you are coming back for him and as he becomes more confident you could extend the length of time he stays in the session for. If he isn't distressed at you leaving him in the morning it may be enough reassurance for him if you just pop in, for a short time, part of the way through the session to reassure him that you're still around then leave again telling him when you'll be back (eg after story time or song time etc). Having a comfort item which he takes with him shouldn't be a issue and I would hope that the staff are working with him to make sure it's kept safely and that he can access it whenever he needs it for reassurance. The best thing is to talk with the staff and explain your concerns they should work with you and your son to find the best way to meet his needs.

Hope this helps