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worried about 6 year old son

5 replies

bountybar · 24/04/2012 13:17

On Sunday my son was playing with some other children, at first they played lovely then all of a sudden my son got really angry and tearful.
At first he would not say why he just said ' forget about it', so I left him to sort it out with the other children while watching from a distance.
Next minute I see my son with his hands round his own throat.
He said he thought it was better to hurt himself rather than someone else.
I explained to him he should talk instead of anyone getting hurt but he wasn't interested.
He has told me on more than one occasion he wants to die.
Most of the time my son is a happy child but when he gets angry he seems to go over the top.

There is a real possibility that my son was sexually abused in the past by his dad and another man- he told me about this at the age of 3 but has put it to the back of his mind at present.
He has no contact with his dad and he says he hates him, although I do my best to not let him know what i think of his dad he may have got the this idea from me.

He has no support other than me and his grandparents as all other help has been withdrawn as he never disclosed anything to them.
There was a Tac in place but this is no more because the school felt there was no longer a need for it as he never disclosed anything about the abuse.

I told his teacher Monday morning what my son had been saying and she seem shocked and said there have been no changes in his behaviour etc at school.
I have also put it in writing to the school this morning.

I know my son can be quite emotional at times for example we came across a dead baby bird on our way back from walking the dog and he got very upset and asked me to bury it which we did.

He has also said he will get a sharp knife from the kitchen and stab himself with it, this is after he has said he wants to die.

I have again reminded him that it is best to talk about anything that is upsetting him or making him angry and all he has said he is angry at his dad but does not want to talk about it at the moment- I told him I will be ready to listen when he wants to talk some more.

I am currently seeing a rape counsellor once a week through my local crisis centre and that is going well I just wish in some ways he shows others what I see so that they do not think it is all in my mind and im making it a bigger deal than it is.

I just want to help him but really do not know how too.
What should I do?

OP posts:
boringnickname · 24/04/2012 13:21

oh love, im so sorry for you and your son. Was the abuse of your son reported? He needs professional help to deal with his emotions, he sounds like he has a lot of anger that he doesn't know what to do with. I think its a funny age anyway as my DD often comes out with things that make me think WTF? Hmm Sot it could be a culmination of what has happened and his age but i dont think you shoud be coping with this on your own. Was good to give the school the heads up though. I hope you get it sorted, you sound like a good mum xx

boringnickname · 24/04/2012 13:26

Sorry, i missed the bit where you said the abuse had been reported but nothing done about it :-( I wish bad things to happen to your ex and that man, really bad things.

You know, it could just be his age - but id get some professional advice anyway. Your son sounds just lovely, and it could just be that he felt anger and didn't want to hurt the other children, so of course it is bad to hit out, but he needs to find another outlet for his emotions. Anger is a perfectly normal emotion when you are six but dealing with it is hard. Im sorry im not helping much but didnt want you to go unanswered

bountybar · 24/04/2012 14:12

Thank you for replying, I tried getting my ex done for the rape of myself but that fell through at the last minute, as for what my son went through the police do not have enough to take it further at this time.
They have told me to get back in touch with them when I feel my son will tell them everything- How I am meant to know he will open up to them is beyond me but I am kind of getting used to having to deal with issues alone.

OP posts:
bountybar · 23/05/2012 22:06

UPDATE I went and saw my GP a week after the incident as that was the earliest I could be seen- she has referred him for another assessment with CAMHS and that I should hear from them within two weeks.

Well it now has been four weeks and still have not heard from CAMHS, I want to chase it up but am a little reluctant as my son seems to be ok at the moment and they will see him as ok.

He does mention death and killing himself but more in a joking kind of way- eg he will laugh and say he wants to die then quickly say no i don't.

I do not want to be seen as the one with the issues as apparently I am more sensitive to this kind of thing due to everything i have been through, and that I am likely to make a bigger deal out of situations than it needs to be.

I am just not sure I will be taken seriously enough if he does get an assessment.

OP posts:
Babylon1 · 23/05/2012 22:10

Do follow up with CAMHS, even if DS is ok right now, they often have the means to ''unlock" and access the deeper stuff through various methods including play as well as talking.

Keep encouraging him to talk to you, and keep doing what you're doing, you sound like a great mummy Smile

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