My toddler wont eat!

[ScooseLooseAbootThisHoose]

Hi just looking for some advice really. My dd is 21 months old and has always been a picky eater but she is steadily getting worse and it seems she hardly eats anything. She used to eat lots of fruit and vegetables but now she refuses I can't even get her to eat a banana which used to be her favourite. I have tried everything such as taking the food away when she refuses it, family meals, etc I don't give her snacks in between meals I am at my wits end. I feel awful because I want her to get all the vitamins she needs but she only seems to eat the same few foods over and over again and is now refusing even yoghurt which she normally loves. Any help or advice will be appreciated.

Haha, we are in the same boat dear, although mine was never particularly fussy.
The irony is that DS eats really feel at nursery, having seconds etc but at the week end at home, a lot of fuss.
So I have decided to not bend over backwards and to ignore, as in "you want it, great, you don't want it, great" and to try to stay calm and no show signs of stress (not always successfully). The other day, he had a major tantrum, clearly was hungry but would not eat what was presented so we ignored him and after 5 mins, he cleared his plate.
I read in one of my baby books that children feel the tension over meal times and use it sort of test their power IYSWIM.
Our DC will not starve themselves to death and after a while of not presenting them with a stream of alternatives they will just eat what they are given.
I feel your pain when you say you are eager for her to eat well and you are worried about her diet, so am I but I am not sure what else I can do sort of force feeding him!

Similar boat here. dialM is wise and correct so I won't repeat but just say "ditto" - DS has become less fussy since I started to relax and let him not eat if he refuses what is available. He doesn't starve, nd now he occasionally tries something new. Plus, a restricted diet doesn't have to be a problem - so long as her short list of acceptable foods contains some protein, fat, carbs & vegetable or fruit (even if just fruit juice) then she's not going to dvelop any serious health problems sticking to that narrow list for as many months as it takes for her to become ready to expand her horizons a little.

Thank you for your replies it's hard to know what to do for the best, I suppose I will keep trying her in the hope she will eat properly again

its difficult isnt it what are the meals that they will actually eat?

mine went really fussy at that age and is only just eating better now at 29m ! and mostly thats because I don't offer loads of choices but I don't cajole him to eat it now either, its there and he either eats all or some or doesnt. He still likes a small set of core foods but has started tentatively trying the odd new thing this month thankfully. He's allowed snacks now that hes eating quite well, and eats raisins and crackers mostly mid-afternoon.

Does yours like pasta? mine loves pasta so I'm inventive with the different sauces etc that go with it, i.e., you can cram lots of 'hidden' veg into a tomato-based pasta sauce, if you have a food processor handy you can grind up a carrot/onion/red pepper/courgette and then add it into your pan of tinned tomatoes, herbs and garlic and simmer. You can stir soft cheese into this just before end of cooking as well, makes it a bit creamier if they like that. Or try a cheesey pasta sauce and add very well diced mushrooms and onions, mine likes that one. he'll also eat lasagne, but he is a little older than yours. Does she like mash? you can add to normal mash mashed butternut squash, sweet potato, swede, carrot, they don't even know they're eating a load of veg that way! just a small bowl of that has lots of goodness, mine liked it with cheese on top. mine will eat mash with a fishfinger cut into squares (a new thing). Would she eat baked beans?? Even a small bowl of these is surprisingly one of her 5-a-day !! and mine used to eat a bowl of them and a square of toast, and sometimes a scoop of scrambled eggs, but has gone off both beans and egg right now grrrr.

best wishes :)

Thanks for your reply Brighton she won't eat beans or anything like that she hasn't quite grasped using cutlery yet do everything I make has to be things she can pick up with her fingers. She won't eat pasta or rice she is just do fussy I have seen the hv about it but they just say she will eat when hungry.

I have 4dc, the first one ate like a bird for a few years, would only eat food if dipped in houmous etc and now demolishes huge plates of nearly everything (aged 8). It hasn't stopped me stressing about the others, but now I do know they go through big phases. One of the best pieces of advice I was given was to look at the whole week re food consumption not just one or two days...it does help perspective. Food is put out, left for a reasonable time eg 15 mins, then cleared away if not eaten. Snacks are limited, fruit and cheese, and upped if eating sensibly although this is more applicable to older children than sub 2. And keep trying to reintroduce new food...eg if fish pie is rejected one month, try again a month later. I feel your pain, but it bothers me less now when my 2 year old is fussy than it did first time when I now see my eldest girl's amazing appetite.

Thanks loulou there is hope for us yet then!

mine went through that 'finger food only' type phase, I remember it well (and he didnt like being spoonfed) so I did little finger sarnies, soft cheese, marmite, mushed up egg mayo, even mushed up advocado and banana together went down really well (sounds odd I know!) these days we have some days when he only wants toast, with peanut butter, cheese, marmite, more cheese :) oh and also, Malt Loaf. my HV told me to look at a weeks worth of consumption as well rather than a day - I kept a food diary of what he ate for a few months, this gave me a bit more peace of mind as he did eat slightly better than I felt like he was doing when I saw it all written down - it also gave me an overall feel for things/flavours/textures he really liked so I could focus on those. hope that helps a tiny bit!

Thank you Brighton I will definitely try the food diary idea

hope this doesn't happen

If your worried about dd missing out on vitamins you could try giving her vitamin drops - I heard that ASDA give them out to children under a certain age and i know some childrens centres do.