How do i discipline a 19 month old that scratches, pinches and hits out???

[Bumpybelly]

Hi

Help me please. My little 19 month old girl has turned very aggressive if she doesn't get her way. This usually consists of screaming out, scratching and pinching over children to get the toys they are playing with and hitting out if we tell her off.

We take her away if she is doing things that she is not meant to do but i am not sure what else to do!!

Suggestions appreciated!

This is a perfectly normal (is slightly embarrassing) stage. With most toddler "bad" behaviour, the key responses are Isolate and Ignore. Remove her from the situation, saying, "no, we do not do that" and do not interact with her while she's kicking/hitting. Do not give her attention for the undesirable behaviour, not even negative attention iyswim. At 19 mo she can understand the word no.

Whether or not it's actually worth her while heeding "no", is where the Ignoring comes in. When she's stopped screaming and calmed down, talk to her about what she was doing and explain that she can't behave like that. Teach her how to ask for things, and help her learn patience and waiting her turn by repeatedly explaining what she must do. It's hard for them to learn!

So glad to have found you! My 19m old ds is exactly the same. He hits and pulls the hair of other children if they try and play with the toy which he considers is 'his', pushes them over and pinches/scratches/hits me with minimal provocation. It is SO embarrassing when he hurts other children and deeply upsetting to me when he deliberately hurts me although i am not always sure if he means to hurt...
Current strategies I am trying are encouraging him to stroke me rather than pinch/scratch with limited success. This only works it he is not actually angry. I have tried naughty spot as he seems to understand that he should not do these things (actually says no to himself after doing these things) and he sits there and then cuddles both me and wounded child afterwards, but then 30sec later repeats the behaviour. As a result he has spent several play dates mainly on the front mat instead of playing -leading me to wonder if I am doing this to discipline ds or demonstrate to the other mothers that I am at least trying to stop my child dolling out gbh.
I have also tried explaining he shouldn't do these things and trying to help him share.
I feel like such a bad mother and can't work out where he has learnt this behaviour from -nursery? -he attends two days a week, or is it something i have done? Nursery btw say he is not violent there... really???
Tbh, I am at the end of my tether, unwilling to socialise with my ds and slightly teary about the whole thing...
If you find any magic solution pls let me know!

My DS is a wee bit younger but went through a stage of biting when he was annoyed. I cringed when it was just me or DH but then he properly but a girl at his CMs. So we did a firm 'no' and... I realise how this sounds but bit him back. Not proper or anything, he didn't flinch or pull his hand away but I think it made him realise what we were saying no too rather than a general thing. Now he goes to bite but we just have to say no and he realises and stops. What we haven't managed to sort is him smacking me in the face when I pick him up from the CM which makes me want to cry I do the juggle on hip trying to hold his hands and ignore. But it makes me really sad sometimes.

Hi guys, my 18mo has been through this stage, and it is only a stage, some bite, kick, smack, pinch! My 18mo weapon of choice was a good wollop in my face, or anyone else's that got in his way!!! It was very embarrassing in public and even worse when he hit another child!
Whenever he did it I would take both of his hands and say "no, you do not hit"! .... Very sternly!!! Then remove him from whatever situation we were in, if at home turn telly off/remove toys and sat in silence with him for 30 seconds completely ignoring him, this went on for a few months but it seems to have worked for him as he hasn't hit me, or anyone else for ages! X