Late walker? Let me reassure you!

[suzimum]

Hi all,

I have had a lot of support on mumsnet since DS was born in Dec 09 and I would love to share the story of his walking to reassure anyone who is the slightest bit worried about their LO's development.

DS took his first unaided steps at 25 months, but was not walking confidently until almost 26 months. As my first child I had scoured the internet for advice and guidance but found very little - I could not find any child who had walked later than about 22 months. We had been referred to a paediatrician at 18 months, who failed to find anything wrong and then had a follow up at 22 months, who again said that since DS was now attempting to pull himself up there was progress and all we could do was encourage it. My concern was that something may be wrong with his inner ear (having read about this online) but he reassured me that DS would have been showing signs of being off balance or disorientated for this to be the case.

DS was not premature. He only started to bottom shuffle at 12 months and then at about 15 months developed what I named "the cruffle" - a very efficient crawl-shuffle hybrid, but he did not actually crawl on hands and knees until about 18-19 months and resisted any attempts to walk with me or DP holding his hands. And he refused to try any kind of walker. He only started to pull up onto his knees at 18 months and then to his feet around 22 months and do a little bit of cruising.

I grew sick and tired of all the "helpful" advice from people about how lucky I was that he wasnt walking and "just you wait til he walks, you won't have a minute to yourself!" I looked enviously at mothers of 12 month olds who were toddling around the park.

When he finally took his first steps (rather irritatingly my mother got him to walk holding his hands, grrr!) we were all so encouraging, but it was several weeks later that he actually took his first unaided steps, and typically, it was when he was at the childminder's house!

Now at 27 months he can run around as well as any child his age. He is a little behind with climbing up stairs, but that will come. Both myself and my DP were late walkers at around 17 and 18 months but after 20 months I was beginning to worry.

I would advise anyone in the same situation to have their LO checked out at 18 months but for any future LOs I will be a lot more chilled out! My heart does go out to anyone in the same situation because no one wants their child to be "behind" in any way.

xx

Aw, thanks for posting your story. Your son sounds like he's doing fantastically. Perhaps a laid-back personality too?

My DD walked at 18 months. I also walked at 18 months. I wasn't worried because she was pulling herself up etc, but it got annoying sometimes to hear people say their children walked 'late' at 14 months!

They all develop at different stages and we should relax more about it.

xx

That's lovely to hear - glad he's doing so well.

Conversely, my DS2 was a ridiculously early walker. I can't remember how early - certainly 10 months or so. And he's Dyspraxic - co-ordination and movement issues. His running is dreadful, he can barely ride a bike, he can't catch a ball (he's 13). It just goes to show that the early/late walking thing means nothing whatsoever - they all find their levels, whatever they turn out to be.

I totally understand what you mean about people saying "just you wait til he walks, you won't have a minute to yourself!" - when DD finally walked at around 19 months I was so happy! Her personality means she isn't a very physical child and doesn't run off at all and I've never regretted for one minute her learning to walk! It's so precious having waited so long and I'm just so thankful she's caught up. Now at 2.4y (also a dec 09 baby) she is still a bit wobbly (gets knocked over by bigger children at nursery for example) but she has joint laxity so will compensate over time. Also it was great from my perspective that her language abilities were so advanced by the time she came to be properly mobile because we've hardly had to childproof the house and I can talk and discuss things with her regarding her safety which makes life so much less stressful!

That's great to hear. I'm glad he's doing well. My son has only just started walking (still a bit unsteady on his feet) and he's 17 months. Someone in my DH's family didn't walk until about the age of 3. I am trying not to get worried about my son's lack of speech as I'm sure by the time he's three he won't stop talking.

My Dad didn't learn to walk until 2+ . He's doesn't drive and can out walk most

Agreed OP, DD didn't walk until 17 months but was incredibly steady when she did and didn't really talk much until past 3rd birthday, therapy was suggested - I refused and now at 4 her language skills are fantastic. She had her own timescale and I like to think that that she didn't do these things until she knew she could do them well.

What a lovely story!

DS walked at 18 months (but didn't crawl/shuffle at all before then) and I too was worried - and also sick of everyone telling me how lucky I was!

The only real 'benefit' as far as I can tell was not having to childproof the house - as thing1andthing2 said. By the time he was confidently mobile DS was well able to understand 'no' and 'don't touch'!

Lovely to hear your stories and Ambi, I am now wondering about DS's speech and whether he is a little behind his peers who all seem to be talking full sentences, whereas DS is struggling with some basic words still and only just starting to string words together. But I know they are all different, and you certainly knew best for your DD. Thanks for sharing.

dogindisguise -I would not even begin to worry about speech at 17 months.

Motherhood is just one big worry after another, isn't it?! No sooner is one hurdle crossed, another rears its head. Next, potty training!!!

Thanks for this. My dd is now 20 months and still not walking - she does an odd knee walk and is happy to walk a bit holding hands, but determined not to go it alone! Have got a referal, but as she is third child and she seems perfectly happy and fine I'm not worrying. Not much talking either, but then her brother didn't walk until 18 months, her sister didn't talk until 2.5-3 and they both did it in their own time.

As someone else said there is always something to keep you awake and fretful. Once over this, sure I will be stressing over potty training (2 weeks for one, 6 long months for the other) and now we are fussing over reading!

This is a great thread. My DD is 16 months and has only just started toddling between furniture etc. I know that's not as late as some of you, but I was starting to get worried. I haven't had much experience of young children and everyone I spoke to had their children walking at around a year. What is odd was that she started pulling herself up at 10 months so I kept thinking "Oh next month she'll be walking I'm sure!" and then it never happened. It's so nice to know all children do develop at their own pace, and it's not a competition. As an inexperienced carer of young children when I came to motherhood, it's so hard not to get caught up in the whole "well MY child was doing back-flips at 3 months" malarkey...it just makes you feel like shit really >_

Hi suzimum,

Thank you sooooo much for your post, it has really put my mind at rest. My ds is just 10 mths he didn't roll over for months and has only really just learnt t sit unaided.

I was getting seriously concerned that i wasn't helping him enough particularly has he appears t have no interest in crawling whatsoever and i do get envious of people whos little ones of the same age or crawling all over and one or two are even walking unaided.

People try and help by saying things like boys are lazy and he'll do it in his own time, but it doesn't stop me wishes he would show some signs of crawling. He does however prefer t stand (aided) at mo.

But your post has really made me believe that he'll do it when he's good and ready t try. 😃

Thanks. Nic xx

It is very reassuring to read other mum's experiences of late walkers. And it is very frustrating when people make comments.

But can I just urge anyone who has even the slightest concern or niggling worry about their child's development - whether it be sitting or speech or walking, to ask their hv or gp for advice, because sometimes it is because their are underlying issues, and that is the reason why developmental milestones can be important.

Hi, I (Suzimum) have changed my username.

nicki1978: Glad I could help you a bit. I spent hours trawling mumset and all manner of other sites looking for someone, anyone, whose child had walked later than 2, and failed miserably! Of course it happens, but I was damned if I could find evidence of it! And god, was I sick of hearing about how so and so's child had mastered walking down stairs instead of sliding on his bottom. Or whatever it was that week.. And my Mum whose "helpful" suggestions to encourage DS to walk drove me to distraction. I was sick, sick sick of talking about it!

Hazeyjane - totally agree - some people told me there was no need to see a doctor over DS's late walking but since he was my first child I was not going to leave it to chance. I was actually left frustrated, albeit relieved nothing serious was wrong, since the paediatrician could find no reason for the late walking.

I grew so used to seeing DS "cruffle" around that I could not imagine the day he would walk. Looking back at videos of him at around 20 months you would think he had a disability, to be that big and shuffling around on the floor.

I still get a real feeling of joy watching him running around and now he's learnt to hold my hand to cross the road - I feel like the proudest mother in the world. But that's all of us, isn't it?!

xxx

Hi SingASongOfSixpence/Suzimum - thanks so much for putting this post up about having a late walker. Its so encouraging to hear that your DS is now running around everywhere. You must have been overjoyed when he took his first steps.

I posted on here a couple of weeks ago about my late-walking DD and had so many lovely replies including a beautiful poem:

over-anxious mum

My now nearly 19 month old isn't much closer to walking but has now discovered climbing stairs. She can whizz up them (ie. climbing on her hands and knees) and knows to turn around and come back down on her tummy. So there is some more progress which is quite reassuring. We were referred to a community paediatrician 10 days ago and still waiting for appt to come through.

It is so hard getting asked 'how old is she'... 'is she walking yet....oh isn't she...gosh' etc. My DD wasn't premature either (as I've been asked many times). All the toddlers who are my DD's age are all walking/running and seem so much older. We know another little girl who is 7 months younger than DD and she is pretty much on the same level as my DD. I was quite excited when my son took his first steps (at 14 months) but think I will cry with joy/relief when my DD does. At the moment she only walks holding both hands (bearing weight ok) but when you take away one hand she gets v anxious and drops down to her knees. She isn't super-tall but because she is nearly 19 months she is now almost too tall to use her push-along walkers!

Reading your post and those of others really helps! When they're not walking, its just so hard to imagine they will ever get there. Thank you again x

Parabolica - your DD sounds like she is well on the way -progress is what reassures the doctors. My paediactrician told me that as long as DS was making some progress there was absolutely no cause for concern. He told me he had seen so many children like mine (although he said none had walked as late as mine!) and they all do it in their own time.

Yes, I did cry with joy when DS finally took his first wobbly steps across the room into my arms.

I love that poem - so true!

Now the worry with walking is over I am now stressing about DS's speech, since he seems way behind other children his age who are talking in full sentences. I am not super-worried but again I want to have him checked out to make sure there isn't anything wrong or anything I may be able to do to help him.

Take care xx

Hi everyone
I've posted a lot about this. Mine is 17.5 months and not walking. She can stand alone (for quite a long time), walk holding hands, and has had bursts of walking unaided around the sitting room, but she still prefers knee-walking. We have a paediatric appointment on 30 May, I'm still really worried about her. If they are making progress, is that definitely good?

Hi Olivetti - it sounds like your DD is progressing really well. She's already taking a few steps by herself which is fantastic! I know its hard but try not to worry too much. I'm sure your paediatrician will be very reassuring and who knows your DD might be walking everywhere by then!

I chased up my DD's paediatric referral yesterday and discovered it could be a 13 week wait! Sigh.

Thanks so much for posting this...

My DD is 19 months old and hasnt been crawling long, she's not even close to walking and it feels absolutely agonising every time someone says how lucky I am or looks sympathetically at me. She's been held back in swimming and Gymboree and all her 'little friends' have moved on to classes where the children can run and jump and she (for the most part!) just likes to sit there.

The doctor is looking at her hips at the moment an I'm waiting for her appointment for an ultrasound.

To hear success at the end of it is brilliant - it takes up my every second worrying about her! X

Olivetti - the fact that your DD is weight-bearing and can walk holding hands is fantastic. I cannot imagine that anything is wrong at all. At 18 months my son was not even standing up and resisting all attempts to walk holding hands. Unfortunately everyone around me had children who were walking at around 12-15 months, which didn't help!

curiousgeorgie - I feel your pain about being left out of classes. I used to look longingly at the classes at Gymboree that DS couldn't take part in. I hope all the tests come back clear. The fact that your DD has started to crawl is progress. xxx

Thanks Suzimum for this thread. My DD is 17 months old and has only been crawling for the last 2 months or so. She has never been keen on weight bearing (though she can when in the mood) and never tried to pull up. We've been so worried about her - last month we saw a paediatrician who gave her a really thorough examination. He said she has very lax joints (though wouldn't class her as hypermobile) but was not too concerned as her fine motor skills and cognitive skills are apparently well above average. She is being referred for physio which I hope will help a bit. I know exactly what curiousgeorgie means about the sympathetic looks etc - I now don't know any other babies her age who aren't walking (or even running!) everywhere and feel that DD is just getting left behind. However, over the last couple of weeks she has actually started to kneel up to reach things and even on one momentous occasion managed a half squat pulling up on the toy box! So she's making progress.......I even have had dreams that she's walking. So lovely to hear a positive ending from Suzimum.

I have dreams my dd is walking! I've never told anyone that before! Haha....

Just wanted to add, for further reassurance to any other worriers, that I was a bum shuffler and there is a photo of me in my Mum's photo album which says "J's first steps" dated the August bank holiday before my 2nd birthday at the end of September.

Which is a long way of saying I didn't walk til 23 months and I am entirely normal (physically) {if a bit porky}.

Thanks to everyone for their supportive messages. This is a great thread - we should keep it up and support each other.

Parabolica - the wait for appointments is so frustrating, isn't it! Makes me more anxious.

We had some further development last night - DD walked a couple of laps of the sitting room,and between rooms. Yay! But I had to put her down on her feet, so she could set off, iyswim - left to her own devices she still goes on her knees. She can't stand up straight from the floor, she still needs to put on hand on a wall or a chair or something. Has anyone else had that, where they can walk a bit but not yet stand from the floor?

DS didn't walk until 5 days off his 2nd birthday. He was seeing a paediatrician anyway and she referred us to a physio. He got piedro boots as his joints are quite bendy. We were shown some exercises for DS to do, mostly involving bending at the knee. Or climbing stairs. Just to clarify he was a bum shuffler and crawled for the first time two months before he walked.
He couldn't jump until well after four years old. And he still can't ride a tricycle. He will be 5 in October. But he is very good at climbing and having adventures in the park.
Dd could jump before 2 years old and can already ride her brothers tricycle.
Not sure if I am being reassuring by telling you this...

Really pleased to see this supportive thread. My son didn't walk until 20 months. I drove myself mad worrying and felt really alone. I'm ashamed to say I actually felt embarrassed at times. He is now two and a half and running around like mad. You'd never guess he walked so late! People constanlty reassured me because he was crawling and pulling up and cruising. Think the crucial thing is progress. However I agree that a professional opinion is always wise.