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Behaviour/development

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4 month growth spurt/sleep regression

9 replies

MimsyBorogroves · 20/04/2012 07:00

I need advice, or someone to tell me this is "normal"

DS2 is 18w and ebf. He's never "slept through", but we have had a few blissful periods of waking twice a night - usually 12ish and 4ish and up for good somewhere around 7am. He's also got a dummy.

He goes to bed around half 7, usually requiring a bit of sshing/stroking/dummy replacement to send him off. This too has turned into a lengthier process.

He now wakes at 10.30pm. Whereas if he did this in the past, he would go back off with a dummy replacement, he now wants a feed. And he does need it, as he takes both sides. Same at midnight.

Around 2am he wants a small feed. This is usually where he wakes me up with a lot of muttering, and he's usually trying to roll onto his front. Replacing the dummy doesn't work, he will up the noise until he's screaming, and then want a short feed.

From 4am its every 40 mins or so - same story. Rolling, grunting, mumbling. He's very awake though, and needs a short feed to send him back off again. No chance at all of getting him to sleep merely in his cot. This goes on til around 6/6.30 if I'm lucky - then he's up for good (but wants to fall asleep again at around 7.30am, just as he needs to be getting up so we can sort out DS1 with breakfast and pre school preparation. He will only have this sleep next to me, though.

Naps in the day - he has 2 x 90 mins and 2x 30 mins. All of these he has to be held or he doesn't.

I can't co sleep. I had awful pnd with DS1 which manifested as hallucinations during the night that he was in bed with me, covered in blood, or that he had slipped under the covers and died. I would wake up in absolute certainty that these were real, and strip the bed in a state of delirium. DS1 didn't co sleep either, but I did feed him lying in bed - but I'd never remember the act of putting him back in his cot.

DS2 is currently feet obsessed, which doesn't help. He can't sleep in a babygrow as he will place one foot on the toes of the other side and drag his legs up within it, meaning they're caught in the crotch. Then he will scream himself awake. I put him to bed in a long sleeve vest instead last night, so he was trying to reach them through the grobag and yelling because he couldn't stretch his legs straight upwards.

I to know this will end at some point. (rationally I know he won't be doing it when he's 15, but you know what I mean). Argh.

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sherbetpips · 20/04/2012 11:05

First thing he doesn't 'need' the feed. As long as he has fed properly in the day the fact that he will feed if presented to him bears little relevance. Continiung to feed during the night will mean he will continue to ask for it.
It is not at all unusual for sleep patterns to go wonky every couple of months during the first few years.
Make sure you are upping his feeds in the day, a couple more weeks and you will be able to wean which will help as he will be fuller.

MigGril · 20/04/2012 16:37

Sorry I'd completly disagree with sherbet - he's 4months there is a huge growth spurt at this age, developmental leap and sleep regresion.

It's totatly possible he does need a feed some babies really can't go that long between feeds at nigth. Breastfeeding isn't just about nutriation its about so much more closeness, reaurance, espicaly when a baby is going through big developmental phases.

There is no harm in try to up his feeds during the day to see if it helps, plus do you have a sling? Espicaly if he'll only sleep when being held as he'll sleep in the sling and you can still do a few things/or go for a walk.

MimsyBorogroves · 20/04/2012 20:18

He does definitely need the feeds - he feeds hungrily. He's asked to feed nearly every hour through the day today so I'm sure some of it is a growth spurt.

Tonight I can't get him to settle to sleep. Sad it's taken us 40 minutes of cuddles and sshing and he's just about there now...

I foresee another long night.

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mamij · 20/04/2012 20:33

Also completely disagrees with sherbet. He's only 4 months, so would still fed. And ebf my 5 month old and she sometimes wakes up every few hours to feed.

Not sure about upping feeds though as DD2 turns her head away when she's had enough during the day and can't force her to take any more. You may have better luck than me though!

MimsyBorogroves · 20/04/2012 21:05

mamij - DS2 is exactly the same. He doesn't comfort feed - only if he's hungry. He's just woken up again Sad

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mamij · 20/04/2012 22:10

Mimsy - DD2 has just woken up too Sad. Second time since putting her to bed at 7.30pm.

DD1 is also screaming for me as I put her to bed (usually DH does it but he was busy with work). Now she wants me instead of him.

It's going to be another long night here too.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/04/2012 08:54

Also, disagree with sherbert. At 4 months he's still tiny and does need feeding. Everything you've explained is perfectly normal and you've had other DC so you know it will pass, even if it's tough now. Have you read the stuff on Kellymom about sleep regression? You might also find this and this helpful and have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution?

Your PND experiences sound terrible, are you getting any help now?

MimsyBorogroves · 22/04/2012 21:58

mamij - hope things are improving for you. I'm trying to grit teeth and mutter "it's just a phase"

Julie - will have a look through those, thank you. It's funny (well, not really) but I actually don't remember a lot of this stuff with DS1 - I think so much was tied up with the pnd. And even when we had rubbish nights he would always put himself to sleep in the first instance (at his 7pm bedtime) whereas DS2 doesn't - which sets me up with a feeling of trepidation for the night ahead.

The PND was a long struggle with DS1, though much of it was environmental. I'm now figuratively and literally in a better place, with a very attuned partner, and that makes all of the difference, even when it's hard.

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MimsyBorogroves · 25/04/2012 03:10

Last 2 nights he's been up every 90 mins, all night. I'm a wreck. Sad

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