DS, nearly four, consistently mixes up 'he' and 'she'

[bassingtonffrench]

He knows the difference between boys and girls. in fact is quite interested! knows the colour coding and everything!

but he virtually never says 'she'. he has a brother. He refers to me as 'he'. So 'Mummy has gone out, he needed to go to the shops'.

He has a couple of friends who are girls and uses 'he', 'his' and 'him' when talking about them. Shouldn't he have got this by now? Any thoughts?

I don't know when they are supposed to stop doing this. However DS2 (very probably HFA) still does this at age nearly 6, but will now occasionally correct himself. DS1 severe AS never did this that I remember. DS3 is 4 in September and NT as far as I can tell and still does this. If I push him he will remember that it is she/her for a girl, but he doesn't use it in normal speech.

Oops, sorry thought that was in a different section of MN ignore the references to ASD .

My 4 yo does this, slowly happening less frequently.

No biggie.

don't mind the references to ASD. Quite interested in fact. Is it something about how they just can't imagine another person being different to themselves?

I'm 38 and I still do this! My mouth can't keep up with my thoughts sometimes and I end up with word finding difficulties. At 4 it is fine. :-)

Pronoun confusion is common in verbal children with ASD. Think it's more to do with general language difficulties than lack of empathy (the role of the latter in ASD being greatly exaggerated, IMHO). However it is also common in young children full stop. the age your ds is now I wouldn't be worried about it.,

My DS2 does this & he's 3.9. I've assumed it's normal (although DS1 never did it) & he will grow out of it in time.

My 5 yr old does this, also with her and she and him and he - they all get stuck on seemingly mindless things sometimes - I remember when my now 9 year old couldn't grasp odd and even when he was 6, although he was very good at maths, his teacher thought he was messing her about!! - it all clicks into place eventually!

My DS also does this, most of the time. I was blaming his grandmother (MIL) as she does the same but I guess it's just a stage then?

Really hope he does grow out of it though especially as grandma hasn't

DS2 consistently got this wrong at 4, he's nearly 5 and getting better. For him everyone was she despite having 2 brothers!

Yes, thanks for the responses everyone. I think it was the consistency of the mistake which is concerning me, and it can be sometimes embarrassing ie. like he is trying to say a female looks like a male!

DD does this too- she is 3.5.

Everything is 'he'.

Dd (3) does this and ds used to. He is five now and I can't remember when he stopped. Both have excellent language otherwise but they seem to find it difficult.

My ds did this too - has just stopped doing it at 5. Normal!

Haha, DS1 calls me Daddy sometimes, so I suppose it's just a normal stage some of them go through longer than others. He usually laughs about it and corrects himself when he realises what he's said!