Need advice on my 4 year old not running away

[Elly68]

Hi - I need some help, as whenever my son and I go out he's always running ahead of me in shopping malls, the park, car parks etc I'm trying to teach him that he needs to stay by my side, but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. So, I wondered if any of you Mum's have a good storybook that has a story about not running off and how you can get lost. I don't want to put the fear of God into him but just try and make him aware of the potential dangers. Any suggestions welcome. Thanks!

Not got any story book suggestions but have you tried reins? Even just letting him know that they are in your pocket and he will go in them if he runs away is usually enough. I found a nice pink pair in my pocket worked well with DS .

pink reins or at 4 a pink wrist strap.

The only advice I can give you is simply to drill into him if he runs off you can't keep him safe. That he must stop and wait at every road and look at ever drive entrance and he must stop at any choice of path and make sure you've seen which way he went. Explain very firmly what reversing lights mean and that cars, especially people carriers cannot see small children if they reverse (and beautiful little girls die)

Explain very firmly this isn't a game and you will not chase after him.

If you can give him limited freedom it helps a great deal. As does chatting and playing spotting games that keep the child within earshot.

My DD1 is 14, she is still a pain to go shopping with because she still tears off in a world of her own.

She's only got to 14 due to a combination of reins when tiny and more road sense at 2.5 than her sister had at 6.

I had a really bad day with my DD whos 4 when we were out shopping. She legged it at full pelt through a shopping centre and due to it being a warm day the main doors were open. I was literally screaming and running after her to stop whilst carrying a lot of bags, and a delightful group of adults who were at the door all stepped to one side to let her past and run straight out to a main road, luckily a bus driver who was waiting to do a change over caught her before she got onto the road. That was the last straw with her running off, I then in a way took great delight in marching her to mothercare and bought a wrist rein, which she hated and had a major tantrum about. Within 2 weeks i didn't have to use it and she now walks with me and shopping trips are no longer sprinting trips!! :)

I am disgusted at people for not gently getting her way, although it's difficult to do it without risking tripping a 4 year old.
You can't grab someone else's child unless they are heading for a bus.

I do get in the way of toddlers leaving shops, loos and similar places unless someone appears to be with them having cursed mightily people who didn't slow down DD1 when at her worse

Thanks for all your tips. Reins hey - he's going to be thrilled:) But looking at the alternatives.....

We were at Lyme Park a few weeks ago. A child was legging it from the playground towards the carpark followed by a very heavily pg Mum some distance behind. I counld not believe the amount of people who just looked at him, then at her and let him past. We just stood in his way and chatted about his Mum until she got there. She nearly cried with relief when she got to us as we were right by the carpark.

On another occasion, I was heavily pg and someone actually held the door open at a softplay for DS aged 3 to go legging off into a shopping centre .

I don't know why folk baulk at reins.

They are very effective at keeping a runner close by.