Starting to really worry about 6MO.

[BordersMummy]

DC2 turns 6 months this week and I'm starting to really worry about her development. Her older brother was pretty advanced at most things, so I'm trying very hard not to compare the two. However, in the last few weeks I've spent quite a bit of time with other people with babies of the same sort of age and she seems to be miles behind all of them in a number of areas. And now I've started to think about it I've realised that she doesn't seem to have progressed in her own terms really in the last couple of months.

So for example she is not yet doing any of the following (which all seem to be on the lists of things that 6 month olds 'should' be doing):

• Rolling in either direction (has been trying to do this back to front but not succeeded and utterly hates being on her front and puts head down and cries within seconds so never tried to go over that way)
• Reaching out to be picked up
• Sitting up even supported - she arches her back to try and get back into a lieing down position. Bit of an issue with weaning - in a highchair (even padded) and in fact even in the buggy, she ends up quite slumped.
• Holding objects for a period of time, moving from one hand to the other - she can only hold things for a couple of seconds and then drops it. No advancement on this in past couple of months. She spends most of her time lieing on her back with her arms out to the side. (She bats at toys on the playmat, but not very purposefully really and no more so than she was doing at 4mo.) This is an interesting one as I was thinking of baby led weaning but there's absolutely no way we can do this as she just doesn't have the motor skills yet. I gave her a rice cake to chew on today but I had to pick it up about 100 times in 10 minutes.
• No babbling at all. At 4mo she made a few ee, oo, ah noises. It is very very rare to hear her doing these now. She will giggle if you really really work hard for it. She hasn't added any new noises but will squeal with excitement. Overall, unless she's upset and crying, she is a very very very quiet baby.

I think her hearing's ok but not 100% certain. I went to baby clinic on Tuesday and tried to talk to HV about it but got a bit of a brush off (I made the mistake of mentioning older brother and was told to stop comparing etc etc - which really I'm not doing). I have made an appointment to have a development check in a couple of weeks time so hopefully that will shed some light on if there's an issue. Am I being paranoid or could this be a sign of something? TIA.

Other than the holding objects, she sounds fine to me.

Sitting up-the average is 6 months. Comparing with dd1 who was pfb so most recorded my records show she didn't reach out to be picked up until 8 months, and didn't roll until 10 months either way.

I don't remember when she passed from hand to hand, but I know that was a question for the 9 month check, as I remember the embarrassment the HV suffered from when she asked that for dd2 who was born with one hand.

My best babbler was ds, who has hearing problems (glue ear) and the worst speech. I don't think either dd1 or dd2 babbled a lot before about 9 months, and then went fairly rapidly to talking.

I would request for a hearing check on her. Did she have the newborn one? If she didn't then it is definitely worth pushing to check. Does she look at you if you say something, jump (reflex) at loud noises etc.

The not holding on does not sound quite right, assuming she's not deliberately dropping them. Not sure about the sitting up, they do tend to slump until they sit up anyway. If you're worried and the HV brushes you off then talk to the GP.

Could you get an appointment for the HV to come round? Then you have his or her undivided attention. My DD is 18 months and at 6 months I think she slumped a fair amount when sitting and I definitely don't remember her reaching out for me at that age. She found me seriously unamusing for ages too. Perhaps you're just not at all funny?! Sorry, seriously I think she sounds fine. I'm not sure on the passing objects thing either but I do know that DD preferred to be spoofed at 6 months, then at 7 months, enthusiastically commenced eating solids and refused to be fed and wanted to do it herself. The upshot is, that my DD was not doing all the milestones for 6 months and she's ahead in a lot of ways at 18 months. Perhaps your DD will be the same. Let us know how you go. X

If you are concerned, I'd wouldn't wait for the developmental check, book in to see the GP.

Some children reach every single milestone later than what is says in the books but it won't mean a thing in the long term. Others, late-ish development is a symptom of something else. The thing is, your DD is too young to know, and I think that she still is within the range of milestones, so it's best to support her as best you can for the time being and there's nothing much else you can do. It is important to keep a good journal if you are worried, as it will help in the future if you would like to book appointment with specialists. They will ask 'when did she sit up unaided' etc. I didn't keep a record for DS2 and as it turns out, he has a mild dissability and those kind of questions come back all the time but I can't remember exactly when he sat up, etc.

You could ask your GP to check her ears, and he/she should be able to tell if your DD has glue ear by shining a light in the ear and checking if the eardrum is clear.

Other than that, I think that if you are worried, go to your GP and say I am worried, DD is not doing such and such, could you please check if everything is OK - and if GP is concerned, your DD will be refered to a pediatrician, but I think this is unlikely at the moment as she sounds OK to me. In my opinion, HV are ok if a child is hitting the milestones but don't have much power to enquire more or ever refer to specialist if needed.

Ds was referred to a paed at 7 months for being delayed, but it sounds as though he was a lot more delayed than your dd.

I would say if you have any concerns at all, and you feel the HV is giving you the brush off, to make an appointment with your gp, and explain all your concerns.

Thank you all. There are a few reassurances here. I realise I'm probably being a bit 'PFB' (even though she's not my first!) so hopefully it will turn out to be nothing. I've got her in intensive training today (poor kid) as my older one is in nursery - so lots of tummy wailing time, sitting practice, giving her rattles to drop etc. I'm not normally a worrier tbh and often think other people are being neurotic about milestones, so having found something to worry a little about I think I've gone into overdrive and am now worrying for England and not well equipped to deal with it (and feeling bad about every time I've thought someone else was being neurotic!).

Do you think it's worth going to the GP rather than waiting 12 days for the check? Could it make a difference?

DeWe I hadn't considered that she might be deliberately dropping things tbh, so thanks for raising that. She seems to hold on to her comforter for quite a long time and brings it up to her mouth for a suck, so I thought maybe she could hold onto things that really interested her and was dropping other things...but on closer inspection she is still releasing her grip of the comforter at regular intervals but because it is so soft it doesn't move anywhere so then when she re-grips she gets back hold of it again.

I think it's this aspect that worries me most and the fact that she's so very quiet. I know loads of kids who've sat late/crawled late etc and as you've said, it makes no difference in the long term. I've made a massive effort of talking to her a lot over the past 24 hours and she is gurgling back but it's happy noises rather than vowels or consonants (if that makes any sense), so sort of like a happy reflex rather than a purposeful communication. But writing that down definitely makes me sounds neurotic!! All noise is good right? She did have the newborn hearing check btw and that came out fine. She does seem to react to noises but not with 100% reliability. Could that be a sign of glue ear? Is glue ear painful? She does tug on her ears a bit - has done for a while but I put that down to teething (no sign of teeth though).

No home visits round here sadly PomBear, well not unless you get into major problemsville.

(sorry, long post).

We didn't start weaning DD until nearly 9mo because she wasn't reliably sitting up unaided. She could for a bit but then slumped. I think DD just made gurgle type noises for ages, I don't think we had anything that sounded even slightly like a word until much later. She's our first so we didn't have anything to compare her too

I'm not sure that 12 days wait to see your HV is going to make a huge difference (other than put your mind at rest or give you some answers sooner). Could you ask if they have any cancellations, could you take a last minute space if there was one? Always worth letting the receptionist/HV know just in case.

I wonder if a GP appointment might be worthwhile if you have suspicions about glue ear. I don't know if a HV can help with this. Could you ring the HV and ask (and make a GP appointment at the same time as your HV appointment if needed)?