Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Time-out, can it really work?

12 replies

appleandplum · 18/04/2012 15:02

I am attempting to do time-out to discipline my dt's, girls aged 2. I do it when they hurt each other,their older brother or baby brother (only 12 weeks) or something dangerous, like climbing on the table. I put them on a mat for 2 minutes, howver they just keep running off and laughing, i keep putting them back continuously but they do not stay put for even a few seconds. When i threaten timeout, they say yes.
It it worth continuing? Or does it just not work with some children?
Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

candr · 18/04/2012 20:28

If you have ever seen an episode of Supernanny you will know that to start with it may take a long time to get them to accept that you mean it as you keep putting them back without talking. It does work with 2 year olds but you MUST follow through with it. If they see you are giving up they know that a few more escapes and it will be over. Make sure you do not laugh with them!

chocolatecrispies · 18/04/2012 22:07

I was told by the ed psych time out is usually only recommended for age 3 up - below that they just don't get it. That was certainly the case for my ds.

CecilyP · 18/04/2012 23:19

And even if you managed to get them to stay wherever it is they're supposed to stay for two minutes, would it really make much difference in stopping them doing the things you don't want them to do? Would they really remember what caused the time out? Would they be able to relate it to similar but slightly different misbehaviour?

Original poster

appleandplum · 19/04/2012 15:13

Thanks everyone. I was recommended to do it by my local surestart centre staff as they said 2 yrs is old enough. So far it seems to have no effect. I mainly want a way to show them hurting each other is wrong, they really bite and scratch, being twins there is constant competiton for the same toy etc. any other ideas how i can do this for 2 yr olds? I have tried giving attention to bitten and ignoring biter but this is not enough.

OP posts:

HipHopOpotomus · 19/04/2012 15:22

I used it with DD when she was 2 - she got it, but it may be too young for others.

We always treated it as time for DD to calm herself down, think about her actions and chill out (i.e.take some time) rather than using it as some kind of punishment. We did the apology, I love you, hug at the end and found the whole thing to be really effective.

I''ve had a few times where she would come off it, laugh etc, and I just stayed calm and kept putting her back, starting again etc until she realised I could do this all day :)

BillyBollyBandy · 19/04/2012 15:25

I have used naughty step for dd1 since about 22 months - had to as dd2 came along and I needed to put her somewhere.

At first she laughed, then she used to get off, then she would self discipline and put herself on the step , but she knows that is what happens when she is naughty and that it is a punishment now and has done for a long time - she is 2.8 now.

I warn her, count to 3 and if she isn't doing what she is told she goes on the naughty step. Or to her bedroom if she is being violent acting in a challenging manner

HipHopOpotomus · 19/04/2012 15:32

do you put them in separate places where they can't see each other?

HipHopOpotomus · 19/04/2012 15:34

Oh yeah - it's REALLY hard not to laugh out loud when your 2-3 year old huffs, folds her arms and puts HERSELF into 'time out' :)

But really what DD has learnt is how to calm herself down, and get a little alone time to get herself grounded again.

mamij · 19/04/2012 19:53

DD1 is 2.5 years and screams and cries when I try time out. I can't stand it so I hold her tight and talk to her instead. She usually understands and will apologises.

StrangerintheHouse · 19/04/2012 20:15

OP, have you tried showing them gentle touching - stroking, patting etc. I have been doing this with ds so he won't terrorise the neighbour's cat but he remembers if I say "gentle, gentle" in lots of situations when its down to curiosity and experimentation - thinking of them roughing up the baby here.

If they are angry with each other or siblings, can you show them safe ways to release their tension eg throwing a cushion/ soft ball in a safe empty corner so they have a way to vent their feelings.

Climbing on the table, tough one as it depends on the set up but I let ds do it a few times and now there is no novelty so he doesn't bother anymore.

peachyglow · 19/04/2012 20:24

I used time out with my kids at that age and still do (9 and 6 now), have you thought about getting a timer with a big dial so they can see how long they need to stay there, it sometimes helps to have a visual aid. It may take time to establish but is definitely worth it :)

Original poster

appleandplum · 25/04/2012 22:23

Thanks for all suggestions, i am going to try to perservere but think they may be a bit young, they just dont seem to correspond what they ave done wrong with being in time out.

I have shown over again how to be gentle and try to encourage them to help me with the baby but because everything is a constant competition between them i think they end up being over enthusiastic with their 'love' for him.
I am also going to get a sandtimer so they can visualise the time, when i find one.

OP posts:

Flip