Can a teacher or mental health professional comment on this?

[PrinceCorum]

My DS is 4, coming up to 5 and in reception class. The school/county council/LEA recently gave us a questionnaire to complete, asking whether we are happy with his health. But it also asks if we are concerned about any behavioural issues.

Well, we are - at home and out and about with his parents, he is a very angry child at the moment. Hitting, arguing, shouting, saying hurtful things ("I want to kill you"). There have been no major life events for him to cope with, other than him starting school last September. His communication skills are A1 and he has no signs of autism or any other ASD. I don't think he's ADHD as he can play by himself for long periods and concentrate on things if he wants to. We do have concerns about his behaviour then, having tried lots of Supernanny style techniques like time out, reward charts and so on.

But my question to Primary teachers, LEA staff and mental health staff is this. I would rather take the gentle approach to seeking advice about his anger first - I don't want any rush to label him - what are the consequences of putting down on this school/LEA form that we are concerned about some aspects of his behaviour? Does this sit on some record somewhere then, that gets passed on to every school he attends, etc., and could end up having an effect on the way teachers and others perceive him, perhaps causing a self-fulfilling prophecy effect? Thing is, he is good as gold (mostly) at school, and has never been in trouble for anger issues at school, so I don't want to risk something going on his record which would make teachers see him in a different light or automatically trigger some mental health 'flag' in some agency. What happens to what you put down on this form?

Any advice very gratefully received

I would not put it on the form if you know that he can behave when there as the form stays on record and yes it would be passed to a new school. I would have a parent meeting with the teacher and ask if his behaviour is fine there. Some staff do judge a book by its cover and if told he is a touble maker will treat him as one.
Chances are is he is tired and shows the people who love him the most the worst behaviour - this is quite normal but really annoying for parents. I always tell the parents it is because the child knows they are loved and will be forgiven but may also be that rules etc at home may not be consistant but they are in school and he has lots of role modles to copy there.

I would also talk to your LO and explain that he needs to discuss what is making him cross not say things to hurt peoples feelings while acknowledging he is upset over something.

It probebly would sit in his record somewhere but then so does almost every conact a parent has with a school. It doesn't mean it will be acted upon or even read. If his behaviour in school is good then school shouldn't place too much emphasis on this.

Having talked about that form with a school nurse, firstly I don't think the school sees it. Secondly I think what you get out of it is the school nurse phoning you and asking if you need help/support/want to take things further.

I doubt a parent saying they have concerns in reception would be of interest to his secondary school.

Oh and if it's the same form I had the nurse said they find the questionaire very irritating. Because it says things like "do you have concerns on your child's hearing?" Parent ticks "yes". They phone parent to discuss it to find the child's been under ENT for 3 years. Wasted phone call. There's nowhere to say "yes I have concerns but they're already being met to my satisfaction"

I like to make my questionaires interesting. "Does he make friends easily?" was answered not by yes/no but I wrote "as long as the other person is a child who thinks rolling round on the floor shouting "poo" at intervals is the funniest thing ever; he makes friends very easily." I look forward to seeing their response

PrinceCorum My ds was dx with ADHD aged 7. We (parents and teachers) had our suspicions long before this. He can sit for ages playing, watching a dvd, on the DS, drawing etc etc. The real symptoms show themselves when they are required to concentrate for longer periods when they aren't really interested in the subject matter ie: in the classroom/assembly/at the dinner table. Your child would need to display significant problems in more than 1 setting ie: both home and school. My son has a dx that is mild, and the symptoms can vary upto severe. I wouldn't worry about writing anything on that form, I would be very surprised if anyone looked at it after it had been filed unless you bought it to their attention. When my son moved school years within the same school, his new teacher hadn't looked at anything in his file .... only chatted to previous teacher and went on end of year report. Another area to look at is his relationships with his peers. Does he have friends? Some children with ADHD or other behaviour difficulties can be over-bearing, bossy and not very good at reading social situations. If you really have genuine concerns, I would pop him along to your GP and discuss them. You can ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. However, they would need to involve school in the assessment.