Need advice, DD refuses to go to parent free class.

[div22c]

DD just turned 4. I have been taking her to a children's gym for a whole term, where I stayed with her during class. Based on the instructor's advice, I have enrolled her in parent free classes for the next term, but she has point blank refused to go without me. She is usually quite confident without me, and goes to nursery everyday, no issues. From bitter experience in the past, I know that if she has made up her mind, little can sway her - even chocolate doesn't work as a bribe. What can I do?

Can you watch at least the first one or first few? Just 4 is still quite little and perhaps she is just nervous of the new situation. Then if she sees that the other Mummies don't stay and she is used to the teacher and class etc you can start dropping off.

Don't think that's possible Tgger, but will try

You'd think they'd come across your situation before?

My daughter was exactly the same which used to really stress me out. To get through it I just decided to go with what she wanted and needed I.e. me staying with her, until she suddenly decided she didn't need me any more and now at 4 1/2 she will confidently be left anywhere. I do feel your pain though - I can remember being 8 months pregnant and being the only parent having to join in a dance class while the others sat at the side and chatted.

I would also think about whether the class is the best thing for her at the moment if she is so against going in alone. It took me a long time to realise that if my dds didn't really participate in something then it was probably time to try something else, or give it a break for a while.

She is only just 4. She isn't ready. Leave it a bit.

My DS wouldn't at that age. He went to nursery but he would just cry and get upset so I just stayed. He's 5 now and been fine at school. Still not sure he would want to go on his own to classes unless he knew other kids.

I wouldn't force it

Just so you know they change to going by themselves from not going by themselves very quickly sometimes so don't think that you have to push now or she'll never do it, it'll happen. My DS was very reluctant to be left at 4 and generally I didn't, or at least watched until he was comfortable, but once turned 5 he was fine. Went to a science thing this holiday (age 5.5) in new place, new teachers, new children and didn't bat an eyelid, was just excited.

DD was a bit resistant when she moved up to the parent-free gym class. I got around it by making a big joke about it, saying she was such a big girl that mummies weren't allowed, and the gym teacher would say 'hoi, mummy! You're not allowed in here, this is a special class for girls and boys only - no mummies! You have to go and sit in your car!'. We had a laugh about it beforehand and 'role-played' what the instructor would say if I tried to come in. She thought this was hilarious and for the first few weeks would say I was to come in and then take great delight in saying 'no mummy, you're not allowed ha ha ha!'.

Thanks all for your views and suggestions - I wouldn't stress over it if I thought she wasn't ready. She has been going to various childminders and nurseries since she was 6 months old, with rarely any settling in issues. I tried putting her in parent free dance classes when she was 3 1/2, but she wasn't having any of it. I got round that one by sending to a different dance class and roping in a friend's daughter 'S' whom DD knows very well. S is just 6 months older, so 4 1/2, but a supremely confident child. She dropped out after attending just a couple of trial classes, but my DD continued. So she already does parent free dance classes, quite happily.
This gym doesn't allow you to trial parent free classes, so can't use the same ploy this time round.
With my DD, I feel the issue is not that she isn't ready, the issue is that she has decided she doesn't want to do this. She will usually bend over backwards if a bribe chocolate is offered, but even that isn't working this time.
I'll try your technique Piffpaffpoff, sounds like one that just might work!