4YO DD1 is completely obsessed with food - weird or just a phase?

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She's more interested sweets, biscuits, cakes, juice etc than anything else. It's beginning to drive us a bit nuts (the constant asking for snacks/sweets/drinks etc) but I'm also concerned that we've set this up by being too strict about sweet things from the beginning. DD2 is two and has a huge appetite but isn't obsessed with food in the same way, which may be because we were less conscious of what she ate in the early days.

Also, it's beginning to cause a bit of strife between me and DH because he has a habit of rewarding/punishing her with food e.g. you can't have a juice at the coffee shop because you whined about snacks the whole way here or because you've been such a good girl. I'm sure doing that can only make her more obsessed with food.

Am I stressing unnecessarily? And if not, any advice about how I can shift her focus a bit? (I've been wondering about letting her have everything she asks for for a week and just seeing whether the novelty wears of but that's perhaps a bit mad...)

sorry that should have read 'you can have an ice cream because you've been a good girl'...

Anyway, bump

Going to try one more cheeky bump because I'd really like some advice

My ds is 5 and is the same. I'm not sure what advice I can give but you're certainly not alone.

He seems obsessed with food at the moment. He is constantly looking for the next meal, the first thing he asks after school is what's for tea. Then he needs to know what me, dd and dp had for lunch incase he's missed out!

He's always wanting snacks, we try to distract him but it doesn't always work. The problem is he's skinny as a rake so don't really want to deny him food. I usually just test him by offering fruit or cheese etc to make sure he's actually hungry rather than just wanting sweets.

I've not really tried just giving chocolate every time he asks except on Easter Sunday or at Christmas so I don't think it's long enough for the novelty to wear off. Mind you if it was me I don't think I would get bored either

I'm hoping it is just a phase

Thanks MegMog, just useful to know that I'm not alone really. DD is v slim too so it's not that I'm worried about her weight more just the extent to which she's preoccupied with it!

I posted about this same problem a couple of weeks ago. My ds1 is food obsessed too, first thing he does in the morning is ask for breakfast, first thing he says after school is can I have a snack. I was starting to get really quite concerned with it, and someone on here suggested a book called your child's weight, helping without harming. Got it about ten days ago and it's great! I'm still struggling to adjust to the changes, but I think ds is starting to change his attitude to food slightly, though it's early days.

The basic gist is: you provide the what, when, where of food and they choose how much. So you need to make sure she has regular meals and snacks in between, and she can eat as much of them as she wants. (that's not to say you should let them eat whenever they like). Hard to explain it all here, but I recommend the book.

That's v helpful fattybum. It's been better the past couple of days but I had a look on Amazon at that book you recommended and it sounds excellent. Glad it's working for you

It may be completely different, but my 5yo DD constantly asks for snacks, drinks and whines that she's hungry.

I know that she can't be and often she she asks it seems to be because she's bored! I now have a healthy snack tub and she's allowed 1 thing out of this mid morning and mid afternoon, and if she's still moaning then it's fruit and water only. If she's genuinely hungry she'll have fruit, if she's not she has a strop before realising I'm not giving in and wanders off!

My issue lies with her GPs feeding a constant stream of crap but that's a whole different story

With my very slim DS3, who has the appetite of a bird, we were advised to give him 6 meals a day, dropping down to 5 when he was school age. He just couldn't eat enough in 3 set meal times as he got full too quickly, he had fruit snacks mid morning and mid afternoon, healthy yes, but not enough calories over the course of the day for him! It was affecting his growth, as he went from above 50% to below 9th% for hight after weaning.

So, snack time became mini-meal time (a tuna sandwich or something similar rather than an apple), and he did gradually fill out a little and regain his hight (he's a little under 50centile now). He's still slim at 17, appears to eat constantly (overall he doesn't eat a lot, but he still has a tiny appetite so has 3 small meals and 3 or 4 snack-meals a day).

Maybe none of that is relevant to your DD as you didn't mention hight but just pointing out, some people are natural grazers and 3 big set meals can be a problem for them!

I'm not sure if I will be any help but... my DD1 was just like yours and she is 23 now! Looking back I did use the reward with food/treat thing a little bit too much and because of her character she just got rather too obsessive with food. Everything just hinged round food for her as she grew up. Luckily she never really suffered with weight issues, but even now she is totally obsessed with food but it tends to come out as her cooking it, trying new recipes, endlessly talking about food and what meals she has had etc etc. Her FB page has lots of pics on it of meals she has cooked or meals in restaurants (oh dear this is all sounding very odd...)

I was far more relaxed with DD2 (20yo) and she just isn't the same as DD1 about food because I learnt not to reward so much with treats in the way of food.

Your DD is only 4yo so I am sure it can be something you rein in a little. I wish I had done but by the time I made the connection, it was all a little late. It never caused DD1 huge problems as such but she did have a phase of over-eating until she was sick and as I said, she just got obsessed by meals etc.

HTH!

Oh and meant to add... I think with daughter you do have to be extra careful because of all the pressures out there. I was rather too strict about eating between meals when she was little and if I had been more relaxed it would have helped I think.

Oh and... MegMog... yes! Your DS sounds just like my DD used to be! She always always wanted to know what we had eaten whilst she was at school and if it was something she liked she would be most put out! And she used to get torn about going to someone's house for pizza/sleepover type thing but needing to know exactly what we were going to eat in case it was something she really wanted and should she go for the sleepover or not... she is a funny girl lol. She is fine now, really she is.. but I did learn from all of this!

helliebean - that is really interesting, thanks. Yes, I often wonder whether/hope that her obsession with food will come out in her just really enjoying cooking/food etc as an adult. Funny about her not wanting to miss out on favourite meals ? DD1 is like that, if she finds out that DD2 has been to a café and had juice and a biscuit or something it's a really big deal! Reassuring to hear that it all panned out ok for your DD anyway. I do think we need to curb the food as reward thing though. DH thinks I'm being oversensitive but then he was taught to finish everything on his plate as a kid in order to get something sweet and now he admits that he feels obliged to finish absolutely everything even if he's completely full