2 year old boy so difficult to contain!

[ladypop]

Hi

Our 2 year old boy is a joy - however at the moment I am finding it stressful to go out with him as he is so willfull and difficult to contain in public places. He wants to do and go where he wants to go and we have mini tantrums if we try to prevent him.

It made me pretty miserable yesterday after meeting up with friends whose daughter sat nicely at the table and walked calmly by her mom holding onto the buggy......DS would have been off and playing with the traffic by that point! I am always concious not to compare my child but I just came home exhausted at having to chase and cajole him into going places he didn't want to. I try to give him count downs when we have to leave somewhere he is enjoying, but we still have screaming tantrums all the same when I have to extract him from whatever activity it is.

I love the fact he is interested in the world and is so active, all I think I am after is some moral support and reassurance that this is normal!?

x

ps does this phase last forever?! we would like to try for another child, but I could not imagine trying to look after 2 out and about at the moment! luckily, we were thinking next year we would try, so hopefully he might be more managable by then!?

he needs excercise and plenty of it. go to places where he can run around safely.
and yes, it is just a phase. by the time you have a second one this phase will most likely be over.

Just to reassure you it will pass! Ds1 was just as you describe aged 18 months to about 3. Now at 3.5 he is much calmer, will sit still for a quick coffee and isn't a crazed maniac near roads! Agree with poster above to go to places where he can run about a lot. Otherwise it's inevitable you will compare ( been there, done that)! For what it's worth, my best friends dd (same age) who was also a picture of angelic-ness caught up with the tantrums at about 2.5yr....things change all the time. Try not to worry about it if you can.

ladypop - I have exactly the same with DD2, completely different kettle of fish to DD1 who was a v manageable toddler. DD2 is a delight and such fun but completely knackering. I seem to spend half my life wrestling with her, chasing after her, managing screaming fits when I try to get her back in the pram (we live near a lot of roads and because she's so manic, I prefer to have her strapped in until we're at the park).

I'm sure it will pass but it's hard to remember that at times! Best of luck

Yes it's normal . Ds1 was a runner, I remember dreading picnics with friends. They would all be sitting peacefully chatting while their Dcs played close by. I would be up & down like a yo-yo running after ds1 to bring him back from wherever he was heading.

Nightmare. Kept me fit though. He is still quite defiant now aged 4 though will sit down to eat briefly.

OP I had the same this weekend. 2yr old DS sat at the restaurant table while he was interested in the food then he lost interest & nothing was getting him back to that table. Girl 6m younger was sitting compliantly in high chair eating her lunch.

Nightmare & you feel you can't "control" your child. I guess it will eventually pass

Me too. And I have a 6 month dd too. Going out and about on my own with the two of them has been a nightmare but it has markedly got better in the last month or so. So much so, that I will now venture out with just the single buggy for dd2 if we are going to places like the park or doing things not constrained by time. I still use the double buggy and expect tantrums if I have to go to the shops in town but I try to avoid trips like this unless absolutely necessary.

I've just had to get used to the fact that when we go to eat in cafes or restaurants, people look disapprovingly at us (and that includes family) even though dh and I are working like dogs to minimise ds' boisterous behaviour. I take heart in the adage that the earlier you have to take on challenging parenting issues, the better the parent you are long term.

I can already see that coming true- my tried and tested strategies for curbing ds' potentially feral behaviour, which have just become part of our daily routine, has given me a confidence about my ability as a parent. Some of my friends who have just started to have issues with their own (older) are struggling to deal with their, previously angelic, children and are feeling desperately anxious about their parenting abilities.

I have DD's 3.5 and 23mths.

DD1 walked nicely,held hands, sat nicely etc.
DD2 is pretty good but not keen holding hands and wants to be all independent.
We recently bought DD2 a LittleLife backpack. It was Butterfly wings which she adores! It has a parent handle (like a rein) so she can walk independently but you still have control. The bag is big enough for a small few toys too. Its fab!

Its been a godsend with 2 of them now walking to keep an eye on.
There is 21mths between the girls. DD1 was completely out of buggies before Dd2 was born so we didnt go with a double buggy. We used a buggy board which she loved and just hopped on when she got tired.

If going out for dinner/cafe/resturant etc I always go armed with my colouring pack. A small zip bag with colouring books and crayons. This along with toy animals (plastic farm/zoo animals) usually keep they reasonably amused.

As for tantrums.. Its normal 2yr old behaviour im afraid!

Ooh yes I hear you. It does get better I promise. DS is almost 3 and he's calmed down soooo much in the last few months, even the tantrums, it's like having a different child. I used to be astounded at other peoples kids who would stand quietly next to their parents when out and about whilst my DS had already run to the other side of the park and was trying to scale the fence. Agree with the lots of exercise and fresh air thing. In the meantime feel proud you have such a wonderful ball of energy - I was with a friend who has a lovely compliant calm 2 year old the other day but hey, I decided that would be boring

Thanks folks! it is good to know that I am not alone and that this is 'normal' behaviour...whatever that is!? x