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19 month old ds suddenly hitting and pulling hair, tell me it's normal!

8 replies

Northerner · 27/11/2003 14:29

This is a very new problem. Only just occurred in teh past 2 weeks or so. Ds is 19 months old and an absolute angel (most of the time) but he has recently started kicking, pushing and pulling the hair of other kids. He does it at our M&T group, and he was doing it yesterday whilst at nursery. It was so bad yesterday he had to have 'time out'. He is also suddenly very possesive of everything, shoutimg MINE if another child so much as looks at his toy. If his 'victim' gets upset and cries, then ds also gets upset and then gives them a hug and a kiss.

He has also started brandishing all sorts of items (remote control, wooden spoon etc) as weapons and making loud noises whilst aiming them at people, dh and I included.

Please tell me that boys will be boys and this is totally normal. Am worried I am raising a bully.

Thanks

OP posts:
Northerner · 27/11/2003 15:13

Anyone?

OP posts:
hoxtonchick · 27/11/2003 15:20

My ds is 22 months, Northerner, & did definitely go through a phase like this a couple of months ago. And yes, he has mostly grown out of it. Still likes shouting mine though. I think you just have to grit your teeth & apologise to the parents. I really don't think he's a bully, just going through a normal phase of development. My ds has been going to nursery 2 days a week since he was 6 months & I think this teaches them survival instincts. Interestingly though, his peers who don't go to nursery/started later have started doing the same thing & I'm secretly pleased as it shows mine wasn't a bully all along. Hope that makes sense & reassures you!

twiglett · 27/11/2003 15:21

message withdrawn

Welshmum · 27/11/2003 15:21

My 19 month old is doing the same - to me and DH. She know it's wrong though as she almost immediately strokes us and says ahhhhhh, I'm hoping she'll stop it soon - she doesn't do it with her childminder.

dsw · 27/11/2003 16:12

Welshmum - my dd (17mths) does the same she is really good at the childminders but the devil gets into her when she is at home. She shouts "NO" at the top of her voice and has started to smack me, but not DP. Niether of us smack her, so if she smacks us she has to go and sit at the bottom of the stairs till she says sorry - it works.

saintshar · 27/11/2003 23:29

I think i have said this before somewhere else on another thread.
My DS2 is now 20 months and has mostly grown out of it,though as twiglett says, he will probably go through another phase of it. (DS1 went through a few 'hitting' phases.)
I think the main thing that helps is trying to teach them empathy. I.e if your child falls and hurts his-self, always use the same words like "oh, have you got a sore..." leg or what ever. If you do that every time they get hurt, and use the same words, they soon realise what you are getting at.
Then when they hit you, say "ow, that is SORE." They realise that what they are doing to you, is what they dont like happening to themselves. (Does that make sense?) Anyway, it worked wonders for me!!

Demented · 28/11/2003 20:56

Another vote for a phase here (hopefully). My DS2 (almost 18 months) is doing similar things, his favourite words is "MINE!!!", he isn't too violent but has started to bite when he is overtired and pulls hair occasionally I'm going to try Saintshar's suggestions, thanks.

Angeliz · 29/11/2003 14:13

my dd went through a phase like this. She would absolutely terrorise her little cousin and scratched his face several times! I got to the point where i didn't even want them to visit as i was so wary of what she might do! Fortunately she's turned back into my little angel but still has the odd lapse back into scratching! Good luck Northener and i'm sure it wont last!

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