Really worried about my 18 month old

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I'm looking for some advice or reassurance about my 18 month old girl. Her physical side of development is really slow. She sat up really late (10 months) and only started crawling at 15 months. In the last month she has started pulling herself up on boxes or furniture but isn't really cruising (might take the odd step but nothing much more). She isn't standing by herself but will walk a short distance holding our hands.

I have mentioned this to the doctors 2 or 3 times and in January a health visitor came out to make an assessment. The HV said there was nothing to be concerned about at that stage - my daughter seemed bright and alert and she was probably just going to do things at her own pace. She said that if she wasn't cruising by 18 months or walking by 2 years, then they would want to look into things more. Not sure if it is related or not but she had terrible reflux for the first 6/7 months so much so I had to start weaning her at 18 weeks. She is quite petite for her age still. When I saw the doctor a few weeks ago she agreed her development was a little slow but was encouraged that my daughter was making progress and ticking off the milestones in the right order.

I had to see another doctor (a locum as usual doctor is on mat leave) about her ears on Friday and mentioned about her development. She asked how many words she had - basically she just says dada, mama and bye-bye and gabbles a lot - and when I told her that she said (not very sympathetically) that was very concerning and she would need to do a full developmental assessment. So I now have to wait a week to go back for that. I'm now really worried and getting myself quite worked up. I have an older boy (4) and he more or less did all the milestones at the right time. He wasn't the first to do things but was definitely much further ahead of his little sister by 18 months (walking well, starting to talk etc).

If anyone has been through something similar, it would be great to hear about your experiences and any tips you can pass on. Thank you so much.

My dd who had silent reflux undiagnosed until she was 6 months was late in sitting unaided, crawling etc I simply felt this was down to the fact she never had tummy or back time for the first 6 months. She was either being held upright or similar - only time she lay down was to sleep for about 8 hours out of 24...

My daughter was 20 before she could walk. Sounds to me like her development is within what is normal. Bear in mind that children are all different & develop at different rates. By all means get her checked if it is really worrying you but I bet you find she starts walking soon & you'll wonder why you were ever worried.

As i said my dd began walking at 20 months but by 2 was as proficient as any other 2 year old who'd begun walking at 1.

Easy to say but try not to worry, they all have their own timescales.

Could have written this myself this time last year. Daughter was last to do everything and by quite a considerable time. She eventually started walking at about 21 months, but the little girl round the corner was just over 2 y.o. before she did.

My daughter had hardly any words and the dr said he was concerned because she wasn't imitating or repeating sounds back to him or me. I was very concerned after that!! But then, she started walking, words came gradually, only just a couple of weeks ago I was concerned at how far behind her speech was compared to her peers. Now I can't shut her up! With my DD she just had to wait until she felt ready to do it. She is a placid personality and I think this is reflected in the way she approaches life generally - pretty chilled out and what's the rush to get walking, talking etc?! Now there is nothing to split her from her peers.

My next door neighbour's little girl was also slow to do everything, walking just before she was 2.

Are your DD's other skills coming along, i.e. fine motor skills, self-feeding etc? If so, I'd say there is probably nothing to worry about at all.

I am sure that within a very sort time your DD will be running everywhere and chatting nineteen to the dozen. Sounds like you are a very caring mum and will 'know' if something seems not right so you won't ignore it.

Don't hate me for this poem (so un-MN) but I found it helped me a little bit:

When I am ready, I will smile.
You?ll have to wait a little while.
Its one of the first things I learn to do,
I want it to be just right for you.

When I am ready, I?ll sleep through.
There may be small things you can do,
To help me do it, but you?ll soon see,
That in the end, it?s down to me.

When I am ready, I will crawl.
And then you?ll have no peace at all.
Into everything I?ll be,
No time for your nice cup of tea!

When I am ready I will walk.
And when I?m ready, I will talk.
Then that?s it, big milestones done.
(Though you will still cherish ones to come.)

And when you?re old and up I?ve grown,
And maybe perhaps children of my own,
You?ll look at them and you will sigh -
How fast the time has passed you by!

Was I really as small as that,
Helpless and tiny, in booties and hat?
And much as you tried to enjoy each part,
There was that wish inside your heart.

Will you ever get there? You used to say
As you wished my babyhood away.
The others are doing it, why aren?t you?
Because it?s not my time - if only you knew

That all the worry was a waste of time,
The decision of when, was always mine.
I did it all in the end, nice and steady.
I told you I?d do it when I was ready!

What the poem said. :)

Love the poem, so much truth to it :)

My DD is a similar age and only says:
Hiya
Bye
Poo poo
Shoes
Cheers
Mama
Dada

I think it's only DP and I only understand most of them as well!

DS only says: "mama", "papa" and maybe "car". He is raised in a bilingual home but does not seem to be behind anyone at nursery. He says a lot of stuff, but in neither language. He is 19mo.
Does you DD seem to understand what you say to her?

Ok, I've known 2 kids like this. with the first you could just see that it was all in there, and sure enough it is finally starting to come out, but she did need physio to help her with some of her skills and will need further help with her speech.

with the other there was always a sense that somehow things weren't right. I couldn't tell you what, and he is 3 1/2 now and his mum still thinks it will come in the end, but he will always be different. (I think he is probably autistic, but it's not diagnosed)

In both cases they have needed medical help, and if the doctor was a little more on the ball with the little boy he might be doing better.

Of course you are going to worry, and she may do it all on her own, but seeing if there is help for you won't do any harm.

Poem is great - love it!

I walked at 22 months. One ds walked at 16mths and the other at 18mths.
OP were you an early walker? I read somewhere where age of walking tends to come down the maternal line - don't know how true it is.

In my old Dr Green baby book he said that early walking is not a sign of intelligence otherwise many animals would be a lot more intelligent than they are.
Your dd is probably just thinking about it and will do like my kids did - just get up and walk one day when it suits her.

My daughter didn't walk until 16.5 months. She then didn't say a word, and I mean NOTHING (everyone always said, "yes, but I am sure she says mama and dada doesn't she?") until 18 months. She would make a noise that wasn't really babbling, more like uuuuueeeh, with intonation and everything but it was most odd (and extremely frustrating). I was getting to the point where I thought she might need a referral - though you could see she heard and was very aware etc.

Anyway, 18 months came and she suddenly started talking, and within two months was putting 3/4 words together. She is now 2.4 and you cannot tell the difference - in fact her vocab is very wide. I think she just needed to get the walking done first and then concentrate on the talking (6 weeks between them). Plus her father was lateish to reach milestones. As long as she seems bright and alert - which it sounds like she does - she is probably just taking her time, although worth keeping an eye on it for your peace of mind!

My ds didn't say anymore than that at 18 months. Try not to worry too much.

PS I was walking and talking at 11 months so was quite taken aback when she wasn't!

Kids are soooo different and we feel it more when they are so young. My eldest walked at 15 months but his DB was walking at 9 1/2 months . They both have the same parents/upbringing etc., but very, very different personalities. DS1 is still very chilled and relaxed about stuff - he lives in Asia and has a really cool job. DS2 is always 5 steps ahead of everyone else both physically and mentally - he is hard to keep up with. He is hoping to go to Uni next year to study scarily long named stuff. They are both great DSs but as I said soooooo different.
I hope you find some peace of mind with the check-up at the docs.

My daughter is 20 months and still not walking unaided & has only just started walking around furniture.
If she has been assessed and try not to worry as anything up to 24m for walking is normal i was told this by my gp.
My daughter only really says a handful of muffled words-children develop at different rates.
My 3.5 year old doesn't talk very well and she will be having speech therapy in may but my 1st 2 dcs were very young at walking & talking so all kids vary.
She will do it in her own time

WestWinger love the poem

I think that WestWinger has succinctly conveyed everything perfectly! I love that poem and I definitely remember it the next time I turn to DH and say 'shouldn't he by doing x, y and z'...

Thank you all so much for your advice and sharing your experiences. WestWinger, I loved the poem - the words are great. It really gives me heart to know many others out there have been through the same thing and generally speaking most of the little ones got there in the end (just took a bit longer).

I asked my Dad about when I started to walk but he can't remember (my mum who would have had all this info at her fingertips passed away a few years ago). I do remember her saying I was very late to speak any words - not until 2 and she was quite worried. As she used to say, I made up for it since then!

Her fine motor skills are fairly ok I think - she can hold a pen and scribble a bit, feeds herself (v messily), can bang away on xylophone etc. She seems quite aware and understands things like 'give me x or y', 'give mummy/your big brother a kiss' etc.

I had another appt at the doctor today (I seem to live there!) about her ears and they think she might have glue ear (getting referral to see specialist) so I'm wondering now whether that is the thing affecting her speech/hearing and possibly also her balance. Hopefully we can get some answers soon or find out what best to do to help her along. Will pop back with update when we know more!