boys who really aren't very good at all at sport

[lingle]

DS2 is 6.7 and in year 1 and isn't very good at sport - probably in the bottom 10% of boys.

which wouldn't matter except that:

• his body type looks like he'll be prone to putting on weight later
• it clearly affects his self-esteem and the Year 1 boys seem to divide into groups of haves and have-nots when it comes to football in particular.
• I think there is lots of evidence that being physically active keeps you healthy in later life, so it's not really an optional thing.
• in many ways he would love team games with rules, but he isn't that great at them. I've seen him play football at a party - it's obvious he wouldn't improve from going to the town football sessions because he got nowhere near the ball.
• he can be difficult to motivate with new activities that he thinks are hard.

We (dh, me and db) enjoy playing the odd "our rules" baseball game (ds uses a tennis racket). I got him riding his bike round a track today and focussed on him beating his personal best (and nearly distracted him from being beaten by a girl aged 5.11). But dh and I are not sporty either so the thing we know would be best (loads of sport as a family on our terms) is hard for us.

I am an experienced musician and have helped kids with very little natural ability rise many levels just through perserverance and finding a way to enjoy it. But I don't think there is enough personal attention in primary school sport for that to happen with DS.

Anyone want to talk? feel free to just tell me plain that the only option is more family sport.

I was kinda like whitelillies bro. useless at sport as a kid/ teen, but at college found a VERY minority sport I likes and enjoyed and got good at. ended up on UK team for a few years. I still take part in the sport but not competitively at present. I've been running a club in that sport at DS's school for half a term now, enjoying passing on the skills.
My Bro, was not too bad at junior football but now as an adult plays no team sports but does go to the gym.

It can feel like such a split into "sporty" and "non-sporty" boys in year 1 so these lovely stories are so encouraging.

plus we can spend all day wondering what your sport is

guess away

curling?

My ds is dyspraxic, about three years ago, (when he was 8) we were out on a walk when someone jogged past. Ds looked at them, looked at me, and said, 'I might never win a marathon, but I will be a marine biologist...'

That really made me realise that whilst its important to keep him active in some way perhaps there are other targets to focus on. Now he is at an all boys secondary school, he has a group of mates that are not particularly sporty, but do not appear to be ostracised by the rest of the school for that.

it's also worth remembering that nerds can make serious money, just look at Bill Gates and Steve Jobs!

DS 16 was non sporty but a bit like whitewillies ds, but I did make sure he had swimming lessons from a baby. But it all really changed when he got old enough to go to our local mariners base where he learnt to kayak and climb. He loves being outdoors and just did his practise DofE gold in Snowdonia. He stopped swimming lessons when he was 14 and took his bronze medallion and has since qualified at a pool lifeguard and works at the local sports centre.
He does well at kayaking and regularly comes 1st or 2nd in the annual school interhouse swimming competitions

ds is just rubbish at football and rugby but we've persevered with trying new sports and he is now in the top group at his swimming club, loves trampolining and gymnastics (even though he may be fairly average at both)

He loves weekly games sessions at cubs, outdoorsy stuff, climbing wall stuff etc but is clearly never going to be particularly good at hand to eye co-ordination sports or competitive team games.

I love that he amazed his class teacher this year by being the best swimmer in the class when she clearly had him down as bottom 10% for all PE activities ! She said "he's a bit of a dark horse isn't he , never said a word on the coach to the swimming pool when all the others were boasting about how good they were at this stroke and that stroke".

My ds is truly awful at games and PE. Dreadful. And, as OP fears with her own ds, at 13 he is now a trifle porky.

Recently I enrolled him in (private) swimming lessons. (Group ones had failed spectacularly and after a year he was still doing lengths by hopping along the bottom of the pool...) Although pricey they are worth it: ds is enthusiastic, has to work hard and crucially there is no one guffawing at his efforts. Moreover he has asked to go swimming in his own time. Hallelujah!

well done gramercy and DS though I rather like the pool-hopping strategy.
Yes, it's the avoidance of humiliation (actual or anticipated) that I should perhaps have highlighted as requirement number 1.

How about martial arts?
Its not "sporty" as such and at that age it's fun as well as learning the techniques.
My ds2 started judo at 5, he really enjoys it and it's normally mixed ability so no one worries if they are not very good IYSWIM

Really good exercise as well.

I have two non sporty boys now in their early teens. Don't worry about school playground football, they find a way through it. Both mine have played a bit (very much on the edges) and mainly not played, with the minority of other boys that also don't/can't.

One is good at swimming, the other isn't really, but they both had weekly lessons at our insistence until they got their silver (one got his gold and mile too) which is half an hour of good exercise. We walk as a family, not as often as I would like. Likewise cycling. They aren't remotely chubby.

Op, with regard to the football team, all 3 of my children play football, because they love it and with varying degrees of success

If you want to go with football, can I strongly advise you to steer clear of youth league clubs?
Teams like the one you mentioned with ABC teams are hugely non inclusive and the majority of children in it play football at school, on the street, at home.....

Tbh, I think if he isn't particularly interested in football and doesn't play at school etc, you're best option would be a friendly, non league team as their training is inclusive to everyone and the games are friendly so everyone gets to play.

I've been involved in youth league football for 7 years and it really is not the friendliest place for children who want to build confidence and just have fun.

cheers - any idea how I would find a non-league team? The footbally boys go to "mytown juniors" on a Saturday morning and I'm pretty sure that's all about playing in a league......

some cheery news here is that DS2 went to dodgeball and enjoyed the second half of it (some tears in the first half).

the providers were clever - telling me they had deliberately double-booked it with football so that sports-mad boys would all bugger off to football leaving the rest more likely to feel good about themselves in dodgeball. cunning.

thats great news. now the tough bit is to keep him going every week until he gets hooked (I've had problems like this getting ds to go back to karate).

used to made deals with him if he gave it a good go and went for 6 weeks, after that he could decide whether he wanted to keep going (if that didn't work added in a little bribe - like buying a small toy after the 6 weeks).

he used to count each week and at week 6 was very excited this was the week he got to make his decision. it was really funny as he refused to tell me what his choice was going to be acting as if he was mulling it over and over, but he chose to keep going (and forgot about the toy )

yeah - will post again next Thursday! - he can be easily put off.

Hi I think it is ok to play football if your DS is having fun, otherwise there is no need to force them.. in the end is their choice. right?

ds1 is 6 and is hopeless at sport. Poor co ordination, small and weedy. Recently diagnosed with dyspraxia, although it isn't severe. He has made really good progress with swimming, which I would highly recommend. His OT has recommended judo, to increase confidence, and that ds may well enjoy cycling once he gets the hang of it.
Don't despair - I am quite fit, due to runningg, swimming and going to the gym very regularly. Objectively I am also poorly co ordinated and useless at sport but I am keepig fit despite that. Just have to avoid competitive things.