3yo Concentration

[VeniceQueen]

I'm sorry this will be long but I need to have a rant and its quite cathartic to spill my guts here

DD2 is 3.3yo and goes to nursery 4 days per week. Last summer she was referred to SLT as she had limited vocabulary (we see the SLT approx every 8-10 weeks). In October, nursery advised they felt she was only meeting the developmental criteria for 16-26 month and they had concerns about her social, emotional and communication skills and had asked their pre-school support to see her.

From this review in November, it was agreed that an IEP (which I have only just received after numerous requests) would be put in place to support DD2. The SLT has subsequently referred her to see a Paediatrician for mild developmental delay and mild dyspraxia. DD2 is also seeing a Physio and the OT as she has poor pelvic stability and a degree of hypermobility in her shoulders. We saw the Paed in February and he said that he feels there is a mild delay, more with regards to speech than co-ordination and she was functioning at a developmental age of 24-36 months.

DD2 is easily distracted and always has to be busy - she will keep her self occupied and flit from one thing to the next quite quickly. Her concentration span is quite minimal (but to be fair she is only just 3!!!)

However, nursery's perception is a whole other ball game. After a recent visit by the OT last month, nursery have advised they are going seek additional support from the LA for DD2 (which is great). The whole of the conversation centred around how poor DD2's concentration and social skills were, how little progress she was making and how children considerably younger than her were now overtaking DD2 in terms of developmental skills. I came away feeling quite deflated and annoyed.

Personally I feel that DD2 has made considerable progress over the past few months. Her speech and understanding has improved considerably - the SLT said yesterday that she was almost at a level she would expect from someone DD2's age and that the slight delay she did have would now not be referred to SLT. She has agreed to see DD2 again in the summer to review. I have also noticed that her concentration levels have increased and have recently observed DD2 playing for a short period of time (much longer than she has ever managed before!) and the SLT felt that her concentration and listening skills have improved.

This afternoon, I have spoken to Nursery Manager to say the SLT will ring them to let them know about DD2's progress and again all I got in response was a tirade of how no-one seems to want to help DD2 (as the paed doesn't want to see her again till October, SLT don't want a review till summer holidays and neither does the physio) and that if she doesn't make progress soon then she'll suffer when she goes to school and basically disagreed with what the SLT said yesterday . There is never any recognition of how much progress DD2 has made and although I don't think she is still functioning at her developmental age - she has made huge progress from where we were. All she kept saying was at nursery she doesn't get 1:1 support - its 1:8 - which of course I appreciate but FFS a bit of praise and positivity would be a help - it does make me wonder what they are like with her when she is there , although saying that the Pre-School workers are lovely and I've known them a long time as DD1 went to the same nursery so I'm not worried.

I'm so cross about it all that I could scream. I do feel that DD2's 'lack of concentration' (as it were) is partly down to her lack of communication skills and partly down to her personality. Could anyone give me some indication as to what kind of concentration span could be expected of a 3.3yo or any tips as to what I can do to try to help her? I really want to prove nursery wrong

Loads of sympathy- the nursery do sound very negative. Maybe you should switch nurseries? It sounds like dd2 is doing really well. I don't really know what the average 3 year old concentration span is. My 2 year old has gnat like levels, especially for anything she doesn't choose herself.

My ds is 3.3 also, his attention span was awful as was his attitude and behavior, his speech was delayed and like your dd i think this was the reason his concentration was so poor, until, with a lot of nagging finally managed to get the gp to see him, he was tested with blood test, which resulted with coeliac disease, diagnosis. He is still behind slightly behind with his development, but is catching up fast, i think your dd's nursery really needs to give positive praise as this is key to her development. My ds's pre school are wonderful for that, which i am incredibly thankful for.

Surely, instead of moaning, the nursery should be helping your dd a bit more?

My dd is 3.4 and has speech delay and lacks confidence. She sees a private SALT who thinks she is about 6 months behind. We saw the nursery recently and they told us the things that they are doing to encourage her confidence and speech eg they sometimes get my dd to sit in a group of other (probably younger) children to take turns in speaking; they gently encourage her to do things for herself as much as possible even though she often wants an adult to help; they try to get her to speak up as much as possible as she is very quiet. She has definitely come on since she started pre-school in January.

It sounds to me like the nursery should be focusing on the positives a bit more and listen to you - you are in the best position to see the improvements that your dd has made.

Perhaps you could ask the nursery what their recommendations are for the things they could be doing to support your dd going forward?

Oh dear. Sounds like your relationship (in regard to DD2 in any case) with the nursery is not so good now. If they are not singing off the same sheet as the SLT and are so negative I would be inclined to start looking around to move her. Is she due to stay there the whole of next year before starting school? If so I would have a good look around and see if there is a better alternative where she is accepted and encouraged rather than being labelled as "behind, oh dear, oh dear etc etc".

My DD is similar age 3.4. I have to say her concentration is fantastic, but it always has been, that's her personality. My niece who is couple of months younger has very different concentration- much more flitty- but I see it as normal for her age.

At this age my daughter had very short attention unless it something that she wants to do herself. So she can spend an hour doing playdough if you interact with her, but if you take her to playgroup will go from one thing to another spending a couple of minutes at each activity. She has/had no language or communication difficulties.

If you didn't interact with her she wouldn't spend long at anything. She is now 4 and not hugely improved. School don't have a problem with her.

We tend to work to one minute per year of age, so in this case, for a child without any additional needs, we would expect a child to concentrate for approximately 3 minutes. But it is important to remember that all children are different and even though 3 minutes is the guide time, it could vary. I guess it depends on the context too. If it is an activity chosen by your DD, I would expect the concentration level to be higher than if it were an activity lead by an adult that she might not have much interest in.

In my experience, it can feel like nursery are noticing these difficulties with children and we do often feel that we are the only ones doing anything to help them, but this is often because of the time it takes for these appointments to come through and the time we spend on a day to day basis with the children. I've had a similar conversation just before Easter with a parent whose DD has been discharged by the physio, but who, IMO has shown difficulty again. I know its not nice, but I think it is a good thing that nursery are flagging up these issues to you albeit in a cackhanded kind of way.