Support thread for overactive boys

[whoknewthat]

I was wondering if there are other people who have very active boys and are in need of some coping strategies.

DS is nearly 6. He has always been very very active and restless, even as a baby. Has never sat still, could crawl long before he could sit, didn't draw or colour until way into reception.

He has always had trouble winding down for sleep and it is only in the last few months that bedtimes have got less stressful.

He needs a lot of exercise otherwise he goes slightly loopy. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have anything identifiable (ADHD etc) as he can concentrate if he really wants to, and can act well when required - it's just that when he's at home he seems to feel the need to let it all out.

Often he will appear almost uncontrollable, like he couldn't stop it if he tried. He will often drum his legs, wave his arms, make gurning faces or VERY annoying noises. The only thing I can liken it to is friends when we were in our twenties who had taken too much speed (not me obviously).

It gets much worse if he's tired.

I find this very frustrating and need some help to cope with it myself, and ways to help him.

Will he just grow out of it. I sometimes wonder whether his diet is an issue, or whether he is actually doing too MUCH physical activity, or whether he needs more mental stimulation.

Or whether he will always be like this and I need to stop trying to calm him down.

I suggested one of the cushions to school for DS - in Year 1. The teachers said they'd look into it - and something for Ds to fiddle with - and later when I asked him whether he had anything to fiddle with he told me the TA had told him that that sort of thing was for babies . Better teacher this year thankfully. Stranded - I'm not sure what age they're recommended for, but 2.2 is still quite little for sitting still even for less energetic small persons.

We bought DS a trampoline for his birthday (just 7). He's only just got it up (last evening) and bounced until tea time then bounced again today before going out - with a promise that he can go on it again when he gets home

I have three of them, long car journeys are the worst.

One good thing, they will not get fat as the fidgeting burns up so many calories.

Oh God, wish i had seent his thread way back when my ds started to show that he was like this, at around 10 months old.
He is nearly 9 now and is still the same.

I used to tear my hair out. I saw it very very nrgatively, stopped going out becasue i couldnt cope with it, asked HV over & over if he had something wrong with him because compared to kids of similar age, he was very different.
Still unable to sit through an entire film, will now sit through Harry Hill, but still jumps up and down doing front flips on the sofa while watching!!!

Hard hard work.

BUT OMG i wouldnt have him any other way now.
He is spirited, enthusiastic, fun, delightful and energetic doesnt come near as a description!

Survival for me was routine, set bedtime, bathtime, meal times, walk him 3 times a day like a puppy!
Deep breaths and acceptance...within reason, and teaching him that at certain times, his behaviour had to be modified, how to calm it down and for me..take a break from it.

btw we did the whole "diet" thing, cut out stuff to see if anything made any difference and nothing did.

4 boys here, 12, 9, 7 and 4, my eldest has always been fine, ds2 and ds3 both crawled at 5/6mth and walked at 9mths and are always on the go, they are great tho.

we have had camhs involvemet with ds2 who is possibly add, but tho he has traits they have decided we are dealing with it effectively for the time being so just monitering him.

they do need to get out or we all end up going mad, we have a trampoline and climbing frame in the garden and are lucky we live in a quiet cul-de-sac so they can play out on their bikes, scooters, play football etc.

tbh i am just used to the noise, busyness etc but relatives visited last week and commented how tiring it is! umm yes! but tbf they are well behaved, we always get comments on how polite and wel behaved they are, its a case of learning where they can run around like mad things and where they have to be quiet, sit still etc, and this comes a bit with age but you have to give them the opportunity to use up some energy and lots of reminding when they need to be quieter, small toys to fiddle with, or books to read etc help in situations where they need to be still/quiet.

not so sure its a boy thing, i have a dd as well 16mths and she likes to be on the go all the time and is just as loud as the boys!

I'd been assuming that this was just what most boys are like? I had no brothers and most people I know have girls so I don't have much basis for comparrisson. DS needs exercise twice a day to be managable - but he doesn't seem quite so extreme as some examples above. how would you define the line between "normally active" and "over active"?

I suppose for me, if you put my ds next to his pal, you could seriously see a big difference.

Friend
Calm
sits and colours/reads/watches a programme without moving or twitching
loves tramploline, footy, but can let it go after 10 mins

DS
Flighty
constantly moves
will remain on tramploine for hours,
constant movement of all 4 limbs
will play footy for hours on end
bored very quickly
flits from activity to activity
wants to go much further than other children, wnats to know how stuff is put together, how it works, how it does what it does. what is inside of things.

A normal active child...but then press "fast forward x5" and thats ds and his speed!

Ds2 is a livewire too. He doe s lot of sport - we are lucky he is v sporty and good at lots of sports, especially football. He also does the noise thing and is a pain in the bum to sit and watch telly with - bless!
School always say he concentrates well so that's good. I think he has adhd but without behavioural issues so no big deal for us
He is v disorganised and takes hours to achieve anything eg brushing teeth, getting dressed,
I worry a bit about that at secondary as I think he has processing issues and it's not his fault. He has developed his own strategies eg 'I need 3 things when I go to school' so he counts those 3 things to check he hasn't forgotten
He has no idea how to keep any part of him still! I'm a fidget too but don't think I used to shriek, do silly voices, jump around

We saw community paed today fwith DS. We've known her a long time but until now DS was so ill that his hyperactive behaviour was the least of our worries.

Anyway she reckons that if we were to have him assessed he would get a diagnosis of ADHD and Autism :(.

However like others have said he is such a happy, lively little guy and with the right strategies in place he copes really well and is such great fun to be around. ( I worked in residential childcare for a LONG time so I have a whole toolbox of strategies to try out if we need them and most of those we use we now do without thinking)

We agreed we'd only do the assessment if his fidgityness/behaviours started to interefere with his learning and she reckoned that would probably come in the next 1 or 2 years if it was going to be a problem.

I just felt so relieved to know I wasn't just reading more into his business than there was........

Ds was like this from the womb lol - he used to kick like he was trying to get out of there! Leg locked from a few weeks, walked at 10 months and never stopped! How about these other livewires?

Just to reassure you all - ds is 15 now (almost 16), and life is MUCH easier now than when he was little

My dd is like this (4yrs), and interestingly she always chooses to play with boys at nursery etc as they seem to go at her speed iyswim. As far as we have managed to figure out so far, as other posters have said, diet, sleep, exercise! Too much sugar sends her even more bananas! She is fit as a fiddle though and hopefully will be better at sport than I ever was, can cycle without stabilizers, swim unaided etc. I think you just have to channel it! I like to find her a few like minded friends and a big open space- they run around and tire themselves out, we chat!

Hi,

This op really hit accord with me. My gorgeous 4yr old ds is so hyper most of the time - just like an excitable puppy! He drives me potty, and I get really annoyed, but he is also loving and funny, and melts my heart. I have spent so much time reading about ADHD, and although there are definitely aspects to his personality that fit the criteria, not everything. He loves books, sleeps really well and doesn't have tantrums. But he is also crazy hyper a lot if the time - makes lots of noises and can be disrupted. We manage, lots of exercise, and consistent behaviour management. I have also just started to Brain Food which I plan to implement next week (worth a go hey?!). I think if his hyperness starts really interfering with his learning we may have to rethink our strategy.

It's exhausting though isn't it?!

What's brain food? Do you have a link?

It is reassuring to know not alone though. Definitely makes me feel less frustrated by it all.

He has a new bike and I'm hoping cycling might be a good way to burn it off.

What is it with the noises???? !!
What is it, i just dont understand why they have to make the noises. Clicks, slaps, clapping, noises with his tongue...why??? This drives me MAD.

Also, we tend to know which room ds is in becasue of the banging, he bangs his foot, his hand, the loo seat, doors! Repeatedly bangs things.

For example, He will completely forget to clean his teeth the moment he gets into the bathroom and we hear banging...we have to remind him he has gone in there to clean his teeth. Easily distracted...understatement.

With our DS it's singing.........constant. If I go into school I know he's in the loo because I can hear him before I get anywhere near his class!
If he's not singing he's chattering, again non stop. You get a running commentary on everything :)

Ah yes, the singing. When our next door neighbours moved in, they (rather kindly) asked which one of my dcs it was with the "lovely voice" as they often heard him singing but
We found swimming was key - pounding up and down the baths 3 times a week, really, really helped, and you could just tell when he'd missed (holiday time). Also, when he was U10, getting him out the house every day.

Oh my god I think I'm going to need this thread! My almost 1 yr old DS is a complete handful, constantly chucks himself about and never sits still. He also hits himself but mostly us - all the time!! He tries to claw your face off and has a penchant for biting. I gave up BF because I was black and blue!

I have 2 boys, 6 & 12. Both were exactly the same. My tips, I liken it to having a puppy, make sure you go out every day to exercise them ! I am the same as my boys luckily....can't sit and watch a whole film, need to be out doing interesting things....I just think they are bright and interesting and will be go getters when they grow up. We do every activity available after school, loads of cycling, I take them jogging with me, swim school, football teams, beavers/scouts. We have a local farm with climbing wall, go karts, activity area which I have had an annual season pass to for a few years (great crumbs present) If I need to chill for a morning/afternoon we head there, I buy a newspaper and they go off and burn it off....best money I've ever spent (along with trampoline) !! As long as they concentrate at school don't worry, go with flow...I use to envy people with quiet kids, but who wants to be boarding ?! May the force be with you !!! X

Meant great Christmas present !

My DS is like this too. He is 4.5 and does not stop from when he wakes up in the morning until he goes to bed at night. Thankfully he does sleep well but is always up between 5 and 7am and immediately full of energy. He never stops talking, either, constant questions all day. I can't keep up with him! I thought all small children were like that until other parents commented on his energy levels.

I have certainly found getting out of the house and doing something every day helps. He is also very keen on football which uses up a fair bit of energy. He did football training 4 hours a day for a week of the Easter holidays and loved it! I wouldn't change him though, life is certainly never dull. He manages to be fairly well behaved most of the time, although we have had odd cringe worthy moments, like when we were waiting to go into preschool in the morning recently, all the other children were stood quietly with their parents, and DS starts racing around the playground shouting. I had to almost rugby tackle him to get him to stop

Ds has been at sports camp all this week (2nd week of easter hols) - and came home and immediately asked to go on (new) trampoline and had to be practically dragged off it for supper.