Playdate hell

[whoknewthat]

We don't have playdates very often during term time as I work and, on the days that I don't, I like DS to have a bit of down time.

However, when we do, DS1 doesn't cope well (he is nearly 6). He normally gets on very well in a group, shares well, behaves beautifully at other people's houses and is socially very good. But when friends come to his house he becomes spoilt and sulky if they do not do exactly as he wants. Cue storming off, crying, etc.

Does this just mean that I need to have them more often, so that he gets used to how to behave in his own house, or never have them for the sake of my sanity!

I wouldnt have them, he is young and obviously not enjoying them. DD is 6 and i very rarley do play dates for no other reason than dd does not ever ask. A close friend of mine often comes with her dd but last time was a distaster, with fallings out, toys where broked by her dd and general refusal to tidy up from both children. so I have managed to avoid it for a good few weeks nowhave met in other places. I think unless they are enjoying them and they are successfull play dates dont need to be done.

Why do you need to have 'playdates'?? Just go for days out on your own with your DS1, trips to the library, cafe, play parks etc are a good start, really.

DS1 is nearly 5 and he doesn't really have playdates, there's been a couple of kids come round and vice versa but we don't do this on a regular basis. There's always lots of other stuff to be doing, I find.

School isn't far away now, the holidays are nearly over. Yipee!!

I HATE having other kids over. I would love to be an open house type of person but the whole thing puts me on edge. I hate the bickering, the being mean to ds2, the way ALL ds1's friends tip toys everywhere and trash everything (WHY? WHY? WHY?)

Anyway that's my issue maybe your ds feels the same!

Playdates never worked out smoothly when the DCs were little. On one awful occasion one little boy took the key of their toyshed and hid it in his pocket so that meant they would have no toys to play with all through the school holidays. Fortunately I spotted it and got it back from him.
They are better meeting up on neutral ground like the swings, or the park or a playbarn where the stuff they use is communal.

I never had playdates for mine , I did have an open house though. I think children need to have other children round to play with.

Now my house is usually full of great hulking teenagers

Phew, that's a relief. Thought you were going to make me do it on a regular basis

Does DS have to share in his own house? By this I mean does he have his own telly? Does he and siblings each have their own toys (a DS each for example). I find children struggle to share and take turns if they have their own toys and do not have to share - like we used to with only one telly in the house 'in the olden days'! By sharing and taking turns with even the adults in the house re:resources, they learn pretty quickly that they have to in the house all the time....general toys are different but big x boxes etc can be limited so they realise sharing has to be done even at home! In someone else's house nothing is 'his' and so the tables are turned but in his own home, things are 'his' and will be seen as his alone.

ditto cats, hate having kids over too..