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Behaviour/development

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V worried about suddenly clingy, unsettled toddler - long, sorry

3 replies

clbj · 10/04/2012 09:54

Hello, my DD, 2.4, has always been a very sociable, outgoing, confident child, happy with lots of adults she knows, and has also always been a real daddy's girl. Suddenly, over the last two weeks, she has completely changed - she won't let anyone but me pick her up, hold her hand, cuddle or comfort her, take her for her bath, put her to bed, read her a story, sit with her for meals, dress her, anything really. And she is needing lots and lots of cuddles and contact with me, far more than usual. She is generally not at all settled, and seems unhappy, which is breaking my heart.

I am a SAHM, and I would normally be happy to just indulge this until it passes however, I am expecting DC2 in August, and in anticipation of this we were planning on DD1 starting three mornings a week at our local nursery in June so that she would be settled in before the new arrival - we just thought that this would be fairer on her and seeing as she has always been so sociable, would suit her well.

I am assuming that, even though nothing has changed in my behaviour towards her she has picked up that something is changing. We talk occasionally about babies but not very much. Should I be preparing her more or leaving the topic well alone? Should I put plans for nursery on hold? Is this only going to get worse as I get bigger and once a baby arrives? The thought frightens me somewhat.

This situation has made me feel so upset for her and guilty for the impact having a little brother or sister will have on her, I'm starting to feel negative about my pregnancy which obviously is not right (as you might sense, pregnancy fuelled emotions are rife right now).

Thank you for any advice you can offer!

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AngelDog · 10/04/2012 14:19

Sound like normal developmental leap behaviour. If that's the cause, it should improve on its own (though I can't say when - after the first 18 months or so, developmental leaps become less predictable in when they occur).

My 2.3 y.o. always goes through phases of this (plus not sleeping) when he's working on a developmental leap.

ShowMethePony · 10/04/2012 14:43

It may be a sort of viscious circle thing where you are hyper-aware of her mood in anticipation oif these changes, she picks up on this anxiety, you get more worried, she notices more etc. June is still a way off, can you keep the nursery idea on ice for a while. Just try and enjoy this last bit when its just the two of you at home.

Siblings are great and a pita at the same time, she will adapt.

clbj · 10/04/2012 17:06

Thank you for your replies and good advice - I think that maybe it's a bit of both - her brain is working on all sorts of new things, making her a little more clingy and I'm getting v worried about it which then makes her react more strongly again. Will see how the next few weeks go and try to chill out a bit!

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