Emotionally ready for school

[christmasmum]

Hi
I live in Scotland and have the choice whether or not to defer entry for my dd to school. I chose to register her in February but since then her behaviour seems to have gone backwards!

Can I ask you what you child was like when entering school? I have been reading that they have to be able to cope when things go wrong - but does this mean every time? Are they expected to never be stroppy? Always do as they're told? Never answer back?!

I have no idea what to do, part of me thinks all 4 year olds are temperamental and my dd is normal but the other part knows she can not currently behave as above and I'm worried she will not cope well with the rules.

Any experienced people to advise??

My eldest son started school a week after his 4th birthday - he had to go - no choice. I too was worried that he wouldn't cope, but he never looked back. He really enjoyed himself and was very ready for it. He hated playgroup.

Teachers of very young children know how to deal with stroppiness. Also, children tend to act differently when mum and dad aren't around. As for the rules they are gently introduced and are never made to sit for long periods of time.

I assume your dd has a Jan/Feb birthday? Dd1 has a Jan birthday and I'd always planned to defer her entry as I have worked (as a nanny/nursery nurse) with dc who found things a bit hard going being the youngest, although the dc had December birthdays and I believe you have to fight to defer entry in that case these days.

Also I believe schools sometimes get dc to repeat P3 if dc falling behind. I preferred to try and avoid that.

As it happens dd1 will be deferred due to developmental issues anyway regardless.

Some dc thrive in school even if youngest in year. Have you talked to nursery staff to get their opinion? Curriculum for Excellence starts at 3 and continues into primary, so they should know if your dd is ready for P1.

Unfortunately the school refuses to give any advice or guidance either way, I assume for fear of some legal action?! I wish they would just tell me either way, they're supposed to be the experts! All they say is what they look for as signs of readiness and a big one is emotional and social readiness, which is where I have my worries. I just hope they do give lots of support in P1, especially in the first term.

My dd is a July bd. she will be 4 and 1 month when she starts. As a teacher I know we have ways and means of settling young ch into school life and do understand that some ch in our classes are much younger.

Just wanted to add that if you re-post in Primary Education, you will get far more response.