Feeling like a human dummy

[rosebetweentwothorns]

My LO is 3.5 months and had never been easy to get off to sleep. She was initially a very frequent feeder and only became willing to sleep out of my arms at around 2 months. We now have an evening routine and once asleep she is improving how many hours she sleeps (now regularly doing 4-7 hrs rather than the tiring 2 hrs max). My current issue is that she feeds to sleep but it is currently taking anything up to 3-4 hrs of constant feeding before she goes down (immediately after a good hours feed downstairs). There is usually lots of dropping off to sleep then rousing and desperately rooting as soon as i move. Is this normal cluster feeding or have i set up a bad habit and she is just needing a nipple to get to sleep?

When i have tried alternatives (rocking etc) she usually panics and screams the place.down. Do i need to be strong and try something like the 'pick up / put down' method or is this extreme cluster feeding normal?

Getting a bit weary of feeling like a human dummy (have tried dummies without success)!!

Well......

I would say it's normal but hard going! And I would also say that her sleep will most likely keep changing depending upon growth spurts/ teething etc. In fact there is a big growth spurt which happens around 16 weeks.

I don't think you can get into 'bad' habits! She is teeny tiny and really just wants to be close to you. It is just a phase and it will pass so quickly (even if it doesn't feel like it now)

I have a 3.4 yo ds and an 8mo ds so I completely empathise with what you're going through!

It sounds like normal cluster feeding to me. It's hard, but it does get easier - better to feed if she wants it than get her into a nighttime routine at this early age, cluster feeding will help your supply.

That does sound quite familiar and though it seems terrible right now it will most likely improve without your intervention. Trust that your baby knows what she needs right now - and wants/ needs are the same thing at age. I remember my now 15mo having awful evenings right through the first few growth spurts, and thinking that I was setting some awful habit up. They are tiny for so short a time, you'll barely remember this time next year. Get yourself a good book and just let your baby set the pace for now.

Can really recommend feeding to sleep, it works a treat even now for my 15mo. And btw you are not a dummy, you are the real thing and you are doing the most loving thing you can by being available to your daughter in these first precious few months.

good luck darling x

Oh, this was exactly me last year. Agree with everything already said but just wanted to add my support. I remember being at my wits end and ringing the breastfeeding helpline in tears. Even they said 'God, that's hardcore!'. But I persevered and it did get easier. Funny thing is, you miss is when you stop!

Are you me OP? Mine generally sleeps really well at night but during the day he'll only sleep with me as a mattress and if he feeds to sleep. It is hard especially when your toddler is going feral before your eyes. But basically i agree with everything Sparkling said, baby knows what he needs and that's his mum. I second a good book (or lots of mn), put your feet up and enjoy it as much as you can. Good luck op.

I find the amount of feeding decreases as they get older and less overtired. It's worth trying an earlier bedtime routine if you can to see if it helps but don't be upset if it doesn't. Dd (my second) is 4 months oldsndalready such a different baby from a month ago.

Pick up put down and other sleep training methods are to be ignored until a later stage. Too many changes in the first 6 months (or even year) means that you'll end up having to "re-teach" anyway. Best to go with your baby's cues and make age appropriate tweaks. Eg earlier bedtimes, think about naps/routine once solids are introduced, give her a chance to self settle from 5/6 months onwards etc etc but don't get het up and chuck the books away. They did sod all for my confidence as a first timer. Second time around I'm not so fussed about most things.

It is hard at the time though so make it easier on yourself during cluster feeds. Eg get comfy, have your DH bring you things and enjoy the stretches of sleep. You can try settling in other ways every now and then but as I said don't worry if it doesn't work - it will change in time.

Thanks for your replies. Very reassuring. I can cope with the feeding if I know it's normal and not the start of a long term bad habit. Might try an earlier bedtime to see if that makes a difference.