Bullying and parents don't give a toss.

[LadyOfTheFlowers]

Not been on for a while but I need your help.
We moved house nearly 2 years ago and after much 'shall we shan't we' we moved very DS1 to the local school on our doorstep. I discussed it in length on here - it was a massive gamble - it paid off, DS has almost caught up the 1.5 years he was estimated at being behind in this year alone, due to hearing issues, being painfully shy etc etc.
Obviously I'm over the moon, I found this out at parents evening last week but I also found out a girl in his class has been encouraging another girl to pinch and slap DS and the girl herself has been trying to push him down the stairs at every opportunity. This girl also regularly bullies another girl who is also quite quiet who is keeping a dairy of everything that happens. This child's mother is my friend who has confided in me about me and advised me to get it nipped in the bud immediately as the situation with her daughter is really upsetting the whole family and has been going on a while.
The school really do do their best - for my friends girl, when it was really bad, the girl bullying her was kept in a whole week which worked for about a week afterwards then it slowly started again.
Immediately, I told DS teacher (who looked like she was thinking 'oh not another one') and also the headteacher who said she would speak to the girls right after registration. This was on the Thursday.
On Friday when I picked DS up he said she had tried to push him down the stairs again after afternoon break, which was after she'd been spoken to.
I have learnt from another parent who lives next door to the girls family (who is friends with the mother as she wants to 'keep them on side' but does not let her kids play with them) that their attitude towards their daughters behaviour is 'life is hard'. They don't care an ounce that she behaves this way.
The father effs and jeffs at her in the playground some days and from what I can gather he stays at home, drinking and going out at night to graffiti with his friends (he is about 35) and the mother works every hour god sends while being preg herself and juggling their teen daughters newborn so she can continue her education.
I have resided myself to this situation never really getting better if the parents are not going to support the school. The school do what they can but there's only so much isn't there? The girl apparently is unhappy at the school.
However, I won't stand by and have DS bullied just as he is doing well, or any time really.
Anyone have any ideas? I'm really stressing about it.

We are talking year 2 primary btw.

She is trying to push children down the stairs??? Sounds a bit too dangerous to be ignored. The school have a duty of care to all children to provide a safe learning environment, and they are clearly failing. You need to speak to the Head, and perhaps follow it up with a letter to the Head and Board of Governors. Keep records of everything - when the incidents happen, any marks or brusies on your child and any communication the school has with you about it.

Your poor ds,he shouldnt be being treated like this by anyone,let alone another child from his class.
Make an appt with the ht & reiterate all you have said here & tell him you want him to resolve the situation.
The school need to punish her more,i mean a weeks detention for trying to push someone down the stairs!
Hopefully your ds is left alone to enjoy his school yrs.

Do you know what? Get him to hit her right back twice as hard.
This is not ideal and the school ask the kids not to retaliate, but the school aren't doing enough to stop it.

We moved our boy nearly 18 months ago to a new school when we moved house and the physical stuff increased 10 fold. This is quite a privileged area, so I don't know, maybe some of the boys in DS's class(year 4 and 5) come with a sense of entitlement and anger when then thwarted.

DS had lots of incidents and was really wide eyed and shocked when one of the bullies hit him. It was sad as we'd trained him to be nice and never hit, but it was too much and the school didn't see stuff happen most of the time. It was a sad day when when I told him, "hit him right back, double rations".

Keep on and on and on at the head. Ask for a meeting with you and the parents of the other girl being bullied and the head. If you and the other parents stick together it should help.

The school may not be able to stop the child's behaviour, but they can make it harder for your son to be the target. These girls may be picking on him because they sense a "weakness", ie, being shy, having to work to catch up etc. You could insist that your son is not seated anywhere near these girls, that other teachers are made aware that your son is not to be in teams with them at PE, that lunchtime supervisors are aware etc. These are things the school can do more readily. Sadly, this is likely to mean some other poor kid then gets made the target. But you have to look out for yours.

As for your ds - you are may be doing this already, but it helped my ds a lot when I explained that 1- it was not OK that the bully was hurting him, 2- that I was trying hard to makeit stop but it may take some time and 3 - that he wasn't just picking on my ds, it wasn't something ds had done, but that he seemed to be working his way through the class.