Speech delay and other "red flags"

[Timepasses]

I am desperatly worried about my ds, he was 2 in February and only has 3 words. We have just had out first appointment with a speech therapist.

We have been told to work on eye contact, interaction through play and monitor how ds initiates play with us and keep words simple as possible.

DS will look at things I point a but he has never pointed or waved bye-bye but will clap along with other children at playgroup.

I have convinced myself he is autisitc, I have been in tears since for three days and am thinking the worse.

Any advice would be truly appreciated.

has he had his hearing tested?

First you need to to rule out a hearing problem (its the first thing we did with both dd's). Its great that you already have speach and language therapist involved (some people have to wait years for this). Please don't think that Autism is the worst possible outcome (its not at all believe me) and if it is then you are doing really well by getting people involed now as the earlier you get it diagnosed the better the outcome is for your ds. I know its hard to think that your ds may have problems but there is so much that can be done.

Both my daughters were diagnosed early, dd2 (who is more severe) was diagnosed at the age of 3 after (like your ds) being sent to speach and language therapist, at the time she was non-verbal, non resposive to commands and had verious sensory issues (sensitive to sound), she's now 6 and is in main stream school, is verbal and is working above avarage in Maths and English. She struggles with the social side of things but is happy (and that is what matters).

Has your GP referred him to anyone else other than speach and language?

I'm guessing you have been googling 'autism' so have a list of other traits to look out for? Please dont read to much as you will make yourself worry more, it could be a number of things other than Autism, he's still very young and his speach may just be delayed.

OK yes lack of speech and pointing etc is a red flag for ASD but it could also be a speech and language delay or could be something else or nothing serious. I have two dc with ASD and whilst they had the symptoms you describe they also had other traits. I can however understand your fear and being in tears and being desperately worried. There are some things you can do to encourage your ds' language development. I would recommend you post this in special needs as there are some very knowledgeable people on there who might be able to give you some ideas and some support whilst at this very difficult stage of not knowing whether anything is wrong and fearing the worst.

I really feel for you, I was in your shoes a year ago. My DS1 has autism, he was diagnosed at 3 yrs old. For me, it's not so much the lack of speech that's a red flag, but more the lack of understanding. My DS has hardly any understanding. BUT - he's wonderful. He's at a specialist school (best decision we ever made, to go 'specialist' rather than mainstream) and he's making progress. Slowly, but he's getting there! And he's happy. I cried for days after a specialist speech therapist first mentioned the possibility of autism. But right now he's sat next to me, playing with his iPod touch (he loves it & can work it better than I can) and giggling away at some silly video he's found. Whatever the outcome for your son, you will love him just the same, and with your love & support he will flourish. Love & luck to you x

Thank you all for your replies, I really do appreciate it.

I really dont think he has a problem with his hearing but we do have a test due next week.

He understands commands, if i say no, come here, lets go upstairs etc he knows whats happening.

So far we have only been referred to speech and lanuage therapy and I am due to see my GP this week for further advice.
I will try and repost in special needs.

Thanks again.x

Thats good that her responds to commands, if you ask him 'go and put your shoes on' will he go and do it? my dd2 did not understand 'yes' or 'no' at that age and would not go and get something for me, the fact he understands what you are saying is deffently a good thing, he may just have a language delay rather than Autism (but i'm no expert).

Has he got any other traits that you are worried about?

I don't know very much about autism, but I just wanted to say I felt the same as you six months ago, was really worried as my ds only had 1 word, and that was Woowoo! but he turned two and a half and its like someone pressed a switch. He suddenly has about 50 words in a matter of weeks, he's suddenly started attempting, copying words (although he does sound a bit like that friends episode when Phoebe tries to teach Joey french), and singing! It is brilliant! I know its easy to say try not to worry, and difficult to do, but give it time and know you are doing the right things by getting help asap to encourage and support him.

If he is holding something, his cup for example, and i ask him to pass it to me, he will most of the time. He understands NO.

If I point at something he will look at the object.

Sometimes he does ignore me when I call his name but that has improved over the last few weeks. He does move/dance when excited and opens/closes his hands.

He runs up and down the room a lot.

He sleeps and eats well and will push his head towards me for a kiss.

x

Timepasses he sounds like my DS1 when he was 2. He couldn't put two words together, never pointed, never waved. tbh he very rarely points now. He also had some physical delays. When they came round to do the two year checks and they asked if he pointed things out, shows me things (e.g. aeroplane) or could name pictures of animals etc. or make the relevant animal noises in books, I laughed. He just didn't interact well. One of the things they really didn't like is that if I left the room, he just sat there. He didn't give a damn whether I was there or not, just sat in his highchair staring at the walls till I came back.

He was referred to community paediatrician on the basis of his abject 2 year check failure.She pointed out that he was 'referencing' me all the time. He would look at toys then look at me, when she spoke to him he looked at me before 'answering' her or doing what he thought she wanted him to do. She felt on this basis and amongst other things he was unlikely to be on the autistic spectrum.

When I had DC2 who developed normally I understood why they had been worried about DS1.

Does your DS copy what other children do? Is he interested in toys, playing with them in the way most other children do? Does he look at you a lot when he is playing? It may be that he is just slower in his in development like my DS (it was generally felt that he had some degree of developmental delay, though he has entirely caught up now apart from a few fine motor skills). Speech and language improved amazingly from 2.5-3

I had a gut instinct that something wasn't quite right (I was obv not completely wrong) so I wasn't too distressed when they suggested autism, more a relief that I wasn't the only one who had noticed he wasn't developing as the other children were. What does your gut instinct tell you on this?

He rarely copies other children although he has started claping after nursery rhymes at playgroup.

He plays happily with his toys, cars mainly, and he likes to line them up.

He doesn't do any pretend play though?

We are still waitng for his 2 year assesment, there is a delay in our area which doesn't help.

DS1 did absolutely zero pretend play until he was nearly 3 and that was completely initiated by me, this was another red flag thing. There are loads of 2 year old boys who don't do pretend play though.

The thing about the toys is - does he play with them in a usual way - one of the things about DS1 that they didn't think was normal was his play kitchen - he just repetitively opened and closed the oven doors and stared at them whilst he was doing it. he didn't put anything in the oven, press the buttons, move the dials - just opened and closed the damn door. Now of course he cooks me pretend 3 course meals which I choose from a pretend menu and he pretends to wash up afterwards.

Did your DS develop along normal lines in his physical development? Was he premature, were there any difficulties at birth or in feeding? These were the sort of questions we were asked.

The delay in assessment may not be a bad thing - at 2yrs 8 mths DS was very chatty, could wave, played with toys in a more usual way and could make a sheep noise and go up and down stairs! He probably wouldn't have been referred if they'd done the assessment later.

Just because you think his hearing is fine, doesn't mean it is. Hearing loss / glue ear are the first things to rule out.

And also, it terms of autism fears - I have just been listening to the most amazing programme on BBC world service for Autism Awareness day - in which adults with autism talk about their experience - through childhood, school and into adulthood - listening to them talk was incredibly interesting - erudite - intelligent - worth a listen to, just to debunk myths.

I think the media has gone hell for leather giving us a very bleak idea of what autism actually look like.

ask if you can have a referral to child development centre (should be in the hospital), its an appointment with all different professionals like speech and language and other development people so they can assess him for special needs etc.. i have got the same concerns with my ds about speech and i got him referred for that, we havent had the apt yet so cant really give more info but it sounds like it would be worth doing for u if u are worried there are underlying reasons rather than "just slow developer with speech"

have u done the mchat test for autism? if not then google it, should come up. better than just randomly googling autism and looking at the red flags i think. when i looked at the red flags i started to get really worried but after the mchat, dont think mine is autistic at all so i think the test gives a clearer picture.

if he is autistic (or ne other special needs, even just the speech delay) then best to get him seen asap if u can so that if he does need help he gets what he needs soon as possible so just keep pushing for the appointments that u want, phone them up n check hes on the list etc, otherwise these things really drag out!

My DS is 2 years and 3 months. He is speech delayed by approximately 6-8 months. He has an underlying neurological problem which has been diagnosed and which is why we know that he is speech delayed. We also have an older son who doesn't have an underlying neurological problem but was a late talker.

Half of the time I wonder if my DS is really "delayed" because my first son was a later talker, very few clear words until he was about 2 years and 8 months (you wouldn't believe it now, he's 4 and doesn't stop talking) and the other half of the time I fear that DS will never catch up and will not speak clearly.

What I find remarkable is that whilst my DS doesn't have that many clear words he does have a lot of approximations. Unfortunately I am really one of the few people that understand him.

A speech delay doesn't automatically mean that your child will be on the autistic spectrum. The neurologists seem to have ruled that out for my DS. We are in wait and see mode. With work from the speech therapists perhaps your DS will catch up? There is no harm in getting him checked out and a hearing test is a good start.

Please ignore amelia33 her comments will be gone in the morning

Thanks again for all your replies. After a good nights sleep I am feeling a little more positive today.

Combine - As far as i am aware, his physical development has been normal. He sat, crawled and walked within the "normal" timeline.

I will watch how he plays more carefully but it seems ok to me. Although the majority of his time is spent playing with cars, he also likes bokks but tends to just turn the pages rather that look at the pages.

Firawla - i will look at the mchat test. Thank you.

I am just so impatient and want him to be seen by everyone as soon as possible. His hearing test is very soon so I suppose that is a start.

My DS had 3 words at 18 mo, about 5 at 20mo, and suddenly exploded into language at 23-24 mo, straight into erudite sentences with an amazing vocabulary. Like yours, my DS was referred to a speech therapist but later as he was still mixing up some sounds at 3 and 4. They suspected hearing problems such as glue ear but I was never terribly sure about that.

He never followed a pointy finger until he was about 7 or 8 (we had to teach him again and again to look in the direction of the finger, not the end of the finger), found it very hard to make eye contact and still has to remember to do so, found learning anything involving systems and rote learning extremely difficult and still does, found and finds social niceties quite hard work, did not play imaginatively until about 8-9 years old, could not stick to any activity as a toddler for longer than a minute or so, took everything apart, tied everything else together. He wouldn't dress himself until he was about 6 (found everything too fiddly), took ages to potty train hated school, etc etc etc... He would never learn anything by being told- had to experience it himself, repeatedly doing the same things with the same results. He was really very very hard work. (but also gorgeous, clever and funny).

BUT

Now at 18 he is smart, funny, intelligent and independent at university. He can cook for himself, budget, has many friends, goes out. He is doing well academically. He is still pretty shy (and I suspect somewhere on the ASD spectrum) but he has learned strategies to overcome some problems and is far from a weird recluse. He's not the world's most extroverted person, but he has plenty of friends. He is how he is, and is a very successful individual.

I see that you have slept on it now- I always find that helps when I get myself into a stew about DS my children. I always had to try to remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint.

try this book, "it takes two to talk"

I have ordered the "it takes two to talk" book. Today we also have his 2 year assesment appointment for the 12th April and hearing test on 16th April.

Thanks for taking the time to help.
xx