Absolutley at the end of my tether

[sairygamp]

I just do not know what to do with dd6. She is a lovely, intelligent, beautiful little girl but she has these appalling temper tantrums. It is always something tiny and easily resloved but she just goes beserk For example right now, she is in her room crying because I asked her to come upstairs and ask me nicely to do something instead of screaming at her brother and me up the stairs!! I try to be rational with her but it's just getting silly. I can be calm, cross, exasperated or downright steaming, the end result is the same - her shouting, crying and yelling' I'm not a good girl am I?' She has no reason to be like this - we're perfectly nice parents who treat them really well. This morning I took her to ther shops and the park, we had a lovely relaxed time, she's eaten well etc. I can't cope!!!!

Definitely stay away from 'downright steaming'! How old is she? My DD1 is 9 now and when she was about six she went through a similar phase. This might sound odd but the way I coped with it was just not taking her seriously and laughing at her. I don't know why, but it helped- maybe because she realized she was being stupid but that I was not angry at her so she could calm down and apologize, or maybe it just made her laugh as well- and it was only a short phase anyway, lasted about 6 months? Good luck :) xxx

I'm sorry you're finding it so hard. Obviously I don't know you or your DD so can only go on what you've put in your post, but I'd say it looks like your DD is feeling rather insecure and desperately looking for reassurance. Everything you describe is within the normal range of behaviour for her age, but the "I'm not a good girl am I" is what jumped out at me. That suggests something's at the root of this, rather it just being her personality type and age.

That doesn't mean you've done anything wrong BTW.

Have there been any changes in her life or routine lately? How is she getting on at school? Is there a friend at school she's fallen out with or does she have a difficult relationship with her teacher? A new sibling? Is there anything at all that crosses your mind that could be responsible for this? I'd say it's something along those lines, and like all good 6 year olds it might be something that to us adults seems really insignificant.

I'm sure you're great parents and as long as you're consistent in how you deal with her and you encouraging her to talk to you about whatever is upsetting her, you'll weather this and come out the other side.

She's 6 too. I worry about the 'Im not a good girl' thing too. We never say 'you're naughty' or anything like that . As far asI know she's fine asy school, and friendships seem stable. I always snuggle in bed with her after story and ask innocuous questions about her day and, when she's happy, she says all is fine...I'm hoping it's a stage, and I don't 'steam' too often!! It's just so so upsetting for all of us. I will try the laughing, not sure she'll like that though. It could be because I take too much notice of her - she's araely like it with dh and if she is he simply ignores her. I just can't do that though .

If my DD said the 'I'm not a good girl' thing I would know she was just basically fishing for compliments- because she is a good girl, and I tell her so! It sounds like you're doing everything right- I would just wait it out tbh but what do I know? Hope everything works out :) xxx