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Need Sleep. Please Help! Preferably before I completely lose my marbles...

10 replies

usingapseudonym · 02/04/2012 09:42

My nearly 4 month old has never been a great sleeper, however for a while she was managing 2-3 hour bursts which was good. I need to know some non-boob feeding techniques to sooth to sleep/ advice to help her sleep longer.

The last week or so I have been feeding her nearly every hour and I'm beginning to really resent her :( We have a co-sleeper cot so initially I was managing to feed and then move her to "her" spot but it turned into her snuggling up next to my boob just so that I could doze before she woke up again. I co-slept with no 1 and in theory loved it but I'm already exhausted and can't keep this up. I want her out and asleep.

So the last 3 nights I've had her in a cot in her sister's room. She's managed to sleep 7.30 - 11 (yay) and I don't mind doing an 11oclock feed. But after that it was something like 12.30, 1.30, 3,4, 5.30, 7, 8.30!!! The first few I fed her and then put her back in her cot but the last few she ended up just snuggled with me again so I could doze in between but I'm not really getting any sleep and not really managing very well on it :(

My husband works away a lot but is willing to go in and comfort - but putting the dummy in isn't working, and I can't leave her to cry much as she will disturb her sister.

Any advice before I completely lose the plot? I keep reading things about babies sleeping 5-6 hours at this stage or other posters mentioning that all they have to do is put a dummy back in and I want to know how! I'm a walking zombie and no good to my children during the day.

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Sprite21 · 02/04/2012 11:35

Hi, I just posted with a similar problem, although mine is 6mo. I'm sure 4mo is a classic sleep regression time, if it's any consolation. At 5 months I was at my wit's end and put her into her cot in her room (was similarly in a cosleeper) and that worked initially really well but then got worse and worse and now we're in the same, every hour situation as you.

I don't really have any advice except to say I feel your pain! And I don't have another child to deal with so I really don't know how you're doing it. The only thing getting me through at the moment is co-sleeping for naps during the day but I suppose that's difficult with another dd.

I'll keep an eye on your post to see if any good tips come up. Good luck!

beela · 02/04/2012 13:02

Sounds like 4 month sleep regression. There are lots of threads on it in the sleep board.

It WILL get better but in the meantime my advice would be to do whatever makes life easier for you (e.g. visit friends or family so there are other adults to help, or go to soft play so your older DC is entertained whilst you sit still for a bit?)
Brew

candr · 02/04/2012 20:22

Oh dear, my 6m old does exactly the same so can't bring myself to move him into own room. Just as I feel we are making progress he reverts back to awful habits. Have been advised to give protein in dinner (is BLW and too early for you), a formula bottle before bed then I top up with bf and to rock back to sleep between what I feel are feed hours. Easier said than done as will power to stay awake each time is slim in early hours of morning. If you can get OH to settle baby between feed times as am told this helps. I think I have gone down the 'he will grow out of this at some stage he is only doing what is natural' line and someone told me that your body produces lots of milk in those early hours and babies seem to know this. Hang in there.

FSB · 02/04/2012 20:48

My DD did this, but was filling her mouth with teeth at the same timeSad

We had great success with the baby whisperer when she was 10mo (took me a while to get my shit together)!!!! I was very anti any kind of controlled crying, but couldn't stop crying myself by that point! Blush

It does involve 2 or 3 days of lots of crying (on the baby's part), so you'd have to do it on your room, but it works a treat and atleast your child is crying out of frustration rather than abandonment!

Good luck x

usingapseudonym · 04/04/2012 22:35

I think at 4 months she's too young for controlled crying, and I don't think I could do that unless husband was there to comfort her and wean her off the breast at night.

Normally she at least goes down ok. Tonight I had crying baby for nearly 2 hours and did the nighttime stories with my big girl while baby was crying :( I hate this. She does sleep until 11 so really I should have gone to bed myself at 8.

Only lived here a while so don't know friends well enough to borrow them or lend them my kids but I do feel like I am losing the plot. Will be counting down the hours until my husband gets back tomorrow night :(

I'm scared I'm wishing away the baby years and wont be able to look back and enjoy them - and I'm really not liking the baby and effect its having on our family :(

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seaweed74 · 04/04/2012 23:56

Hi. I wish I could give you (and myself) the magic answer so that we had babies that sleep through! I understand completely where you're coming from especially re losing the plot! My mother keeps telling me that really dd2 (5months) should be sleeping from 11ish till 6ish. Well that's never happened.

At 4 months dd2 was waking every 60 - 90 mins to feed. Now about every 2 hrs, sometimes nearly 3! We co-sleep which helps me grab bit more sleep.

I also co-slept with dd1. No problems putting her into her own bed in own room from 6 months and pretty sure she slept well. This will not be case with dd2. I've tried using formula in evening. Didn't help me. Hoping weaning does! Feel like in the past week or so my body's adjusted to the sleep deprivation and it's not quite so debilitating Shock.

Sorry that's not really any help is it? Hang in there. Things should improve soon. Maybe nap when Dh is around?

candr · 05/04/2012 20:53

I would co-sleep, that is what we have done and he feeds when he wants at night 6m). We have for the last few nights given formula at 6.30 and then wake him at 11 for another one. As a result he is waking less during the night so getting a fuller feed from me and sleeping a bit longer. He also has 3 meals a day but it took time for his body to adjust to feeling full from food.

Hopefully he will drop more of the wakings but I feel we are doing it at his pace now rather than how others say I should be doing it and DS and I are both happier.

It won't last forever and I get sad at the thought of him moving to own room soon.

usingapseudonym · 06/04/2012 23:05

We have been co-sleeping but she latches on about every 20minutes and I'm resenting her being there which cant be right! ( I loved it with DD1, finding it hard this time).

Good news though! Last night we had her in her sisters room as per the last few nights. However normally I brought her back in with me at 11 and just let her latch on. Husband is home this weekend, so he took her back in and she went to sleep! He brought her to me at 3 and 4 and was able to take her back and she slept..... until 7. Amazing! No idea if it will be the same tonight. He's home until tuesday so I really hope she could settle into this while he is home to physically put her back. I am so knackered I just end up the "easy" route of having her in with me but its not what I want. The difference today was amazing. And no crinked neck...!

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candr · 07/04/2012 20:11

Woah, I spoke too soon, DS was awful last night and hardly slept even in our bed (teething). When we come back from time away we will put him in own room. Am very Envy at your DH doing the to and fro with baby. Mine doesn't even hear him screaming in our bed. Wel done you. Keeping fingers crossed for us both tonight.

usingapseudonym · 07/04/2012 20:32

Yup mine was awful too last night! Awake between 1 and 2 and then in attached to me from about 4... zzzz

Husband feels guilty he is away most of the week, so as he is usually only home 2 nights a week does tent to help out then bless him.

Lets hope we all get a better night tonight!

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