Weeing on demand

[Hughsie]

Help - am despairing today as ds1 who is potty trained and 2.8yrs old is weeing on the floor whenever I punish him. This is when I put him in his room for a chill out or even if I switch the tv off - he knows it is naughty but seems to have the desired effect. i dont know how to handle it as he is being the toddler from hell at the moment but I dont want him to associate weeing with being naughty.

I think he knew I was cross the last time he did it and even nana was threatening to smack him so he knew it was naughty.

Can you threaten to put him back in nappies.

Friend solved this by putting her DS in his room every time he did it, along with making him wipe it, put pants in the wash and so on. She remained icily calm but ws still quite scary (well, she scared me!)and would ask him where wees belonged before she let him out. She also started everyday with "where are your wees and poos going today?" and praised him lavishly when he got it right. He was dry again after a week.

I think I will resort to this if it happens again although hopefully it was just a bad day for him...we shall see!

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I think they all do the "don't need to" thing, esp if occupied. DD has been a star with training, but if she gets engrossed, she will deny that she needs to go, shout at me when I carry her to the loo and then p*ss like a horse!

Having seen my friend in action, I think consistency and covering all the bases (cross/clean up /punish/praise for getting it right) seems to be the best way forward. Seems abit pointless to pretend it's ok when you KNOW they can do it.

1. no child is ever intentionally naughty, they all thrive on praise, patience and encouragement

2.focus on positive behaviour, withdraw all chocolate or treats apart from when he wee's in the toilet,or potty then allow him 1 choclate biscuit for wees 2 for poos. focus on 'dry' pants rather than wet - get him to check he has dry pants every 1/2 hour or so and praise him when he does 3.punishment or humiliation doesn't work as a former nanny I have seen a 7 year old still wetting the bed because he got told off since he was 2 4.. a friend of mine who told her toddler off for pooing in a shop ended up having to take her toddler to hospital 3 weeks later to be 'colonically irrigated' as she was so freaked by her mother's reaction she couldn't go 5. don't react when he has an accident just change him and say it will really make mummy happy if he can have dry pants. 6. the toilet can't compete with the tv so try to limit the viewing until he masters the toilet. 7. you are his whole world so when you are getting angry and losing control, he is losing control of his bladder and it becomes a vicous circle. let him go with you to the loo or have him see some older boys - a friends or at nursery, he will want to copy 8. good book: 'toilet training in less than a day" you can buy it on amazon.

I like the idea of getting him to check his pants are dry and praising him - I worry about the danger of getting obsessed with toilet business and him feeling it is a bigger deal than it should be

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dont ask them - they always say no = put some sweets in the loo 0- it always works

IME you have to get to the worst ever day and be ready to give up then it get s better - take them every 20 mins and keep a story going thatthey only get int he loo

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