Stopping a 2yo doing something you don't want them to do.

[EmmaCate]

Standard advice is to ignore bad behaviour so as not to reward them with attention, or say 'No, you must not do XYZ'. Problem is I don't want to ignore my son picking all the flowers in my garden - I work hard to get them - and saying no doesn't work.

I did a stupid thing today when said DS picked another flower. We'd just been to playgroup where he'd done a picture and he was quite attached to it on the way home. So when I saw he'd done that I picked up his picture from the floor (he'd dropped to attack the flowers) and ripped it up. I then told him that's how I feel when he picks my flowers. I have been (rightly) eaten up with guilt since it happened; it was such a stupid thing to do. Now when DS is cross, he's going to get all destructive like I did. I glued the picture back together on another piece of paper but it didn't really make up for it.

Please send me advice, remonstrations and anything else you care to...

Try "flowers are for looking at", although two year olds just can't help themselves.

Have a few precious flowers in higher pots and try not to take it personally. It's just this year - he'll be 3 and a bit more sensible next year.

You are right Rosebud and thanks for post... I should just abandon the garden to its fate for a year. Tried saying that BTW. Tried saying 'I'll tell you what you can pick'. Am going to plant seeds with DS so he gets buy-in. Hopefully that will be successful.

I wish I wasn't so damn fussy about things other people consider very small fry!

Can you get him a pot with his own flowers, that are his special flowers, that he can water himself etc? Not sure if it would work, but that way his curiosity is redirected, rather than trying to get the point across that he's not allowed to do something (which I think is rather difficult for a 2-y-o) to really have impulse control.

My 2yr old can't resist this either, but luckily for me only the 'weeds' in the park! He loves bugs and bees so I've told him he needs to leave the flowers to grow for the bumblebees.

I'm afraid I ask myself "which is more important, my child or?"
The worst that will ha

Eek! It sent too soon. The worst that can happen us that all the flowers get picked and to me that's alot easier to take than my child being told off ad upset for something that is perfectly ordinary age appropriate toddler behaviour. There are years and years in which to garden. Children are little for just a few short years.

It's very hard to not get angry when they do these things, I hate to say it by my 4 yo ds still does it. It's really an impossible situation because he's just being sweet in giving me flowers so I can't remonstrate too much. With him it's a little easier because I explained they live longer when they're still in the ground so I'll get to enjoy them longer. DD is another matter (she's 2), I've found often that the only way to prevent it happening is to physically remove her as she's about to pick them... you do have to watch them like a hawk but I've found no amount of explanation goes in to the head of a 2 year old.

I can totally understand that you want to have flowers growing in your garden. Why shouldn't you have something that is important to you? Your reaction to your DS picking your flowers indicates how strongly you feel about them!

I think it would be a shame to "resign your garden to it's fate", you'd also be denying your own feelings at the same time. If you don't want him to pick them, you don't have to let him, simply because he's little.

Perhaps you could redirect his green fingered tendencies (which he clearly gets from his mum!) and have him do some watering with his own little can? Or can you let him pick some different flowers? I like your idea of doing some planting with him.

When my DS tried to pick flowers in our garden, (from the runner beans!!!), I showed him how he could pick grass and collect it in a little bucket (pretty pointless but satisfying), or pick leaves from the tree, or pick daisies.

He wants to pick, you want to keep your flowers. The don't have to be mutually exclusive and you don't have to be the all-sacrificing-martyr-mum.

When DD did things like this I would say "NO" physically pick her up and put her next to something she was allowed to mess around with and play with her there for a few minutes - we had a sand and water table but I like the 'his own special plant pot garden' idea.

As well as lots and lots of praise for playing in the garden nicely.

She is 3 now, and a lot better, it did take time but I agree with Badgerina that you don't have to accept him destroying your garden just because he's little. That's certainly not how it goes in my house!

Oh yes, also start teaching him which ones are weeds and okay to pick! DD loves bringing me Dandelions

...you have to make a big deal about how pretty Dandelions are and how you really like it when they give them to you though

I think I'd ask him to pet the flowers gently instead. Let him touch them but show him how to do it in a different way.