Hydrocephalus and behaviour

[HenryHolland]

Hi,
I'm new to mumsnet, so forgive any etiquette mistakes!

We have a boy turning 4 who had a difficult first year due to being prem and having hydrocephalus. He's a lovely lad, and has been doing very well considering his early difficulties, but we have a serious ongoing aggression problem.

It's a problem that's been fairly constant for the last 18 months or so. He hits, bites and kicks us daily. He raises to anger on the slightest discipline. He also hits out at us when he gets excited.

We have tried long term attempts at time-outs, reward charts, ignoring, etc. and have had countless advice offered, but just don't seem to be able to get through to him. We've settled down to a routine of just holding his arms and saying 'no hitting' firmly. It's frequently making family life awfully sad.

He has a shunt fitted, it's his second one. The first became badly infected and resulted in a quite lengthy hospitalisation.

I wondered if there are any other parents out there who have children with hydrocephalus that may have experienced something similar?

Thanks.

It's difficult to know how much is because of his condition and how much is because he is 3 IYSWIM

Hitting biting and kicking you is not acceptable - have you developed The Swerve, the firm No and withdrawal; carry him rugby ball style if you need to remove him from a situation (wriggling legs can't hurt you if he is crosswise under your arm)

Sympathy because the terrrible twos have NOTHING on the tricky threes or the frightful fours

NB no experience of hydro

oopsie, welcome to MN, how rude

Thanks DeepThought.

I do know what you mean, and that is a question we have asked ourselves too. The firm no is what we've settled on for now (I could do with a faster 'swerve' technique though!).

We have good reason to think there may be something else at play, because of a fair amount of brain surgery and a nasty meninges infection at an early age - but we don't know this for sure of course!

I realise now that maybe I should have posted this under 'special needs'. I'm not sure of the procedure, but I think I should start this post there, it's probably the most appropriate.

Oh, and thanks for the welcome

I dont have a child with hydrocephalus, but i do have a husband with it.
His mum reports that he was a dream child, and was always very well behaved, didnt really have tantrums and wasn't agressive in the way that you describe your DS. My DH's condition was also thought to be as a result of the meningitis. I must admit over the years I have wondered whether repeated neuro ops might affect his behaviour/mood, and suspect that on some level it must do, but i would be surprised if there was an impact on your DS in such a relatively short space of time, and a relatively small number of surgeries (DH has had about 25+ ops)
I think you have the right approach though. Good luck !

Hi Henry,

I am a 20 year old who has hydrocephalus, I dont know if its relevant anymore, as this thread was started in March.

Your DS could have an underlying problem such as ADHD as Autism Hydrocephalus, Spina Bifida and ADHD are all genetically linked.

I have had Hydrocephalus since birth, my eldest brother has ADHD (but was never diagnosed) and the middle child, my other brother is on the Autistic Spectrum.

Having said all that I was never violent as a child, however my brother with ADHD (as my mum says) was a nightmare at that age.

I am also on my second shunt (due to it snapping after growing to tall) so can understand how stressful it can be for parents as i watched my mum worry about me non stop until i was home.

If you want some more information about it the Shine Charity has really helped me understand my condition as I never knew anybody else with it.

Shine Charity

Thats the link to it its free to sign up and will send your son information books and stuff like that which he probably won't understand but would be good for you to read.

The genetic link is only very newly discovered, so your partner (should you choose to have more children needs to take a much higher dose of Folic Acid during pregnancy and take it for the duration not just the first three months)

Being a mother who has Hydrocephalus, I was fobbed off with the standard dose until I did my research and pushed for the 5 milli grams rather than the standard 400 micro grams, so your partner would need 12 times the standard dose, (push for it if they fob you off) you or your partner may not have any of the conditions listed above, however neither did my mum and dad you both could have the gene that passes these conditions. My DS who is 15 months old did have signs of Hydrocephalus at first but is doing well not needed a shunt fitted yet, I'll just have to see what the future holds for him.

I am in no means an expert on this subject so I would suggest speaking with your GP about this.

Hope this has helped and that you get family life wonderful.

you could try this thread again on the SN board. I spend a lot of time there and a lot of posters are v knowledgeable