6 yo DS being a wailing 'drama queen' and I CAN'T STAND ANY MORE!!!

[bookwormthatturned]

6 yo DS1 has spent the day wailing.

Any slight mishap, bumping himself, things not going his way, is accompanied by full on Oscar winning wailing. A scratch on his leg = 'I can't put my foot in the bath' Tonight a scratch (tiny) on both legs = 'I can't put either foot in the bath' cue me saying well you're still having a bath and him performing complete gymnastics whilst whining throughout. ...... and breathe!

It seems to be the same most days - his Pièce de résistance is howling 'Nobody cares about meeeee', repeatedly, at high volume

I've tried the ignoring, the 'use your speaking voice', the 'go somewhere else if you want to make that noise and come back when you've finished' but none of it works and I seem to be running on a shorter and shorter fuse.

Tonight was particularly I found myself raising my voice, imitating him to try to show how annoying it is (something I always try not to do) and eventually saying 'I've had it' in an exasperated tone and walking out of the room.

I love DS1 to bits but am at the end of my tether like this and if he behaves with friends / teachers like this it's not going to do him any favours (he had a playdate yesterday which included 2 x wails, it's not just with me he behaves this way)

Any suggestions???? Given half a chance his grandad would be all for telling him 'toughen up' or 'be a big boy' - I want him to be expressive and relate to his feelings but maybe not quite like this

It's not really feelings, though, is it. It's more just the kind of situation where you grin and bear it, reactions to physical pain you're supposed to keep quiet about, because it's boring for other people to hear. There's nothing heartless about teaching him that. Maybe you should just carry on being matter of fact about it all?

thanks quirrel - it's good to hear someone else's point of view.

You're right, often it is about having a bump, the other common trigger is anything he perceives as unfair - cue the second favourite wail 'it's not fair'!

I suppose what's tricky for me is that if he IS genuinely feeling that way, and I'm ignoring it or implying he shouldn't feel/behave that way then am I not teaching him not to trust his feelings???

Watching with interest as my DS is the same, its like he can't shake something off or let it go. Interested to see what can be done!

Watching with interest as my DS is the same, its like he can't shake something off or let it go. Interested to see what can be done!

BUMP .... what I didn't say when replying to quirrel's post is that yes I am ignoring it, and no it's not working!

Bumpity bump? .... any suggestions / insights folks? For the sake of my diminishing sanity??

It's got to the point where I'm seriously contemplating setting up 'body part bingo' - it could catch on! - you draw an outline of a body and mark on it each part that is being wailed about (today started off with a succession of 'ow I bumped my hand / foot / hip' (hip??) and ended up with, 'can I have a plaster?' what for? 'my lip, my lips are huurrting, I can't eat my tea without a plaster')

I reckon he'd have a full house within a week

Tired - end-of-term-itis? Mine gets really grumpy as the holidays approach.

I wish it were so MrsJohnDeere, but it's pretty consistent. Thinking on it, I've been coming from the angle of the persistent button-pushing wailing but I suppose there could be something around dyspraxia???

Maybe he just wants a cuddle. Ds1, also 6 is like this and last week managed to have injury or illness to every limb and most major organs before eventually wailing 'I like to be looked after like when I am poorly. We're almost over it now. Some heavy love bombing at every opportunity coupled with approaching every phantom ailment with a business like cuddle and 'that looks sore' before moving on, seems to be working for us.

Anything's worth a try largelatte - I've been trying not to give attention as I don't want to reinforce the behaviours but, as you say, a big hug and then moving on could do the trick.

DS1 has a little brother (11 months old) and has been pretty positive about the new arrival but I'd been wondering if it's partly an attention thing? I'm just about to start back to work and we've got someone starting as a nanny who'll be with them on the days I'm at work who he seems to love so hopefully having attention from another adult as well as me and DH may help.

It is a hard decision whether to risk rewarding the behaviour. I felt that if I assumed he was trying it on and ignored him, and it turned out he had really hurt himself, then I would feel terrible-so I stick with a quick business like inspection of ailment, a cuddle and then distract to something else - if he is genuinely ill or hurt he will quickly remember and remind me.

My DS1 is a very emotionally needy child and needs constantly topping up with love, especially when there is lots of change happening. But because he can't tell me that he is feeling insecure (because he is only 6 and doesn't know what that means) he resorts to things he knows has got him cuddles in the past - sore tummy etc etc. The trick is to keep topping him up with cuddles before it gets to that stage. Easier said than done when you've got a lot on your plate like you have at the moment. Good luck with it all.