Play dates for 5 year old - how do they go?

[Nocturnalnonsense]

My DS started school last september and we have had few play dates with new school friends. They have not gone completely smoothly and he usually cries at some point for various reasons (guest choosing something he wants, little brother being a pest...) I think he is a little emotionally immature and not very confident at times ( moved house, didn't know any children in the school before starting and the school turns about to be pretty target/achievement orientated which has not helped).

I just wondered what other people's experiences of play dates are and i other's experienced similar issues?

What I tend to do at that age is have some sort of activity for the crisis point. Cooking is best, as they can cook and then ice afterwards, and then get to eat some and send half home with the other child. A craft activity works with some children, or a physical game in the garden.

I also make sure siblings keep away by finding them something to do, as it's easier to deal with friend without sibling.

Sounds like the average play date for a 5 year old. Fun, tears, etc. Kids not putting shoes on, playing up when mum comes for collection etc.

I second an activity set up for when they get home. I used to set up my sons dinosaurs or cars so the kids could just slot in a game. I think the adult has to work quite hard when the children are so little.

Thanks for tips. Keeping little brother away is a real challenge. even most favoured activites are not appealing when there is a guest! Activites have been helping - just never realised how hard work it would be!

my top tips are to do play dates on mondays and tuesdays when they are less tired, keep them short (we've only just started to do staying for tea, ds is nearly 6) and don't be afraid to bung a really favourite film on the tv if they are getting grumpy with each other. Ds can play nicely after school for about 1 1/2 hours, after that you can tell he wishes the friend would go home :)

I am avoiding after school playdates for both my kids 7 and 5 as the little brother 2.7 cannot cope, wants to be in there with whatever DD/DS1 and guest and has tantrums when he is thwarted. He's also very tired by that time of day which makes it 10X worse. I just don't think it's fair on the guest, especially when it's a friend as young as 5. Usually I try and do weekends/holidays instead and arrange for DS2 to be out!!

sorry - typo - 'whatever DD/DS1 and guest are doing'

craft kits are your friend
we either end up with arguments, or dd1 and friend happily playing different things in different rooms, unless i have some sort of structured activity on the go. I make sure there's enough stuff for dd2 (16mo) to have a go too, from the prison safety of her highchair.

I don't do them. Ds had a few in nursery and reception and they were hellish. I would dread them beforehand, hate it whilst the children were here and cry for the next 3 months. Its not the even the child's idea, it's the idea of the mothers who think it's good for the child's development. When I was a child, I had a friend round once for tea and that was because her mother was in hospital.

I occasionally invite a friend over for ds in the school holidays but never during term time. Since it dawned on me that it is just middle class tosh that someone thought was a good idea because it featured in Junior magazine once, I stopped conforming and we are all much calmer.

It is good to hear others experiences - feel slightly less stressed and more inclined to keep them to a minimum. My DS likes the idea of a play date but in reality likes pottering around at home after a day at school and just doing what he wants. it is very easy to get caught up with what you think you should be doing - and was advised by teacher to arrange play dates to help him settle in school. I thought things would get easier as they got older!

We've done a couple (reception age), I find they go quick TBH. By the time we have walked home it's 3.30pm, pickup is usually 5. So only 1.5 hours with some kind of snack in between - no time to get crafts or cooking done. Looking forward to slightly warmer weather when we can just go straight to the park and maybe have picnic tea.

I do them once every month or so, sometimes longer - but they are not a regular occurrence. DD has 2/3 friends that fall into this bracket. Play for about 1.5 hrs, 2 at most - I leave them to it mostly. If they seem flagging for interest (rare) I'll offer to get out playdoh or paper & pens. Rarely any trouble other than being pestered for snacks and drinks every few minutes
It seems to work quite well for us.

I haven't done any yet, nor have any great desire to. When DS1 gets home he tears around like a maniac with his brother for an hour then has tea and goes to bed, I can't see how any of that would be improved by the addition of another five-year-old!

Weekends are family time and we catch up with other friends from outside school in the holidays. He spends all day at school with his friends so unless he specifically asks, I'm not worried about him seeing them in the evenings too!